Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness
Welcome to episode #3
Are you struggling with forgiveness after the death of your child? That is the first topic series we are tackling on this podcast, and this week we are going to specifically address forgiving those who have hurt us in the grieving process.
Before digging in to the topic though, we discuss the fact that this week is Mother’s Day, and I also share a word of caution based on something that happened between my living daughter and me.
How Could They Treat Me This Way?
I have heard from so many of you at how shocked and hurt you have been at some of the responses from people around you about your grief. Close friends, co-workers, other family members, even pastors and clergy, and casual acquaintances say and do things that can cause us to isolate ourselves even more than we do already.
Some of the reasons we are given for this are discussed, and why it doesn’t really matter. What is important is learning how to release ourselves from allowing it to keep us trapped in anger, draining us of precious energy we already have too little of.
Personal “Domino Effects”
We are all very fragile and vulnerable after the death of our child. This is when we need others to walk with us, giving us grace in the suffocating darkness of our grief. Unfortunately, that is often when we get slammed with the opposite response.
In this episode, I share a couple of painful and shocking things that happened to me as a result of grieving Becca’s death in a way that is considered normal for the death of a child, but others did not see it that way.
Hurtful Words and How We Want to Respond
Let’s just say it like it is. Some people say really stupid and hurtful things out of their ignorance and wanting to make us feel better, such as
- At least she is in a better place now
- I know how you feel. I lost my….
- At least you still have your other children
- You need to just move on and quit living in the past
And then there is the whole religious issue that God is punishing us for messing up, or that our child died because we didn’t have enough faith for their healing or didn’t pray enough or claim the right scriptures for their protection.
All of these are completely absurd, and you will hear my response to all of the above. (Some responses were actually given directly to those who said these things to me, and some I wisely kept in my head).
I believe in speaking things out….
If you would like the prayers/words of forgiveness to be spoken out loud that will be talked about in this podcast season, just let us know below where to send them.
Links referred to in this podcast episode
Birthdays: If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.
This week we celebrate:
Patrick Keck… birthday May 7, 1990… forever 23
Sarah Wilber… May 10, 1984… forever 34 (this is the first year for her family to be without her, so a special hug from all of us)
The special song I wrote for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)
Event page (where Laura is speaking)
Events can be found on the GPS Hope Facebook page (be sure to like/follow the page while you are there)
OR under the “resources” tab at www.gpshope.org.
And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE.
You are safe here. No masks needed…
Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.
It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.
To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.