Is It Bad to Compare?

I have always struggled with what my body looks like. Lately I have been doing some “self-talk,” telling myself that I like the body God put me in, including how it looks now after almost 53 years of use!

Recently my husband and I went on a cruise. I was not real confident about how I looked in shorts or a swim suit (or much of anything, really). One day as I was walking down one of the halls, I remembered something I read a few months ago about a completely different subject. A woman was sharing about how she always had to make sure her house was spotless before inviting people to visit.

I have been that way, have you? When I know someone is coming over, I put myself (and my family) under lots of pressure to have a neat and tidy house, especially if I have seen how clean their house is. I can’t let them see that we are a bit messy and actually live in our house! Oh my, how horrible would that be?

Well, this woman decided to no longer pressure herself into that kind of a false image. She humorously decided her ministry was to have people over, letting them see her house messy and lived in, so they would feel better about their own houses. (And the result was more friends started inviting her to visit them, because they no longer cared how their house looked when she came.)

So as I was walking down the hall that morning in the ship, this “random” thought about the messy house shifted into how I see my body. I found myself actually smiling and chuckling, as I made the decision that I am going to have the same view about myself. Believe me, it isn’t that I am going to flaunt my body, but I am going to be someone who is confident in the body in which  God placed me, and be a woman who makes others feel better about their own body when they see my “imperfections.”

Comparison destroys our ability to be content with what we have been given. When I compared what I thought were my imperfections to the women around me, I easily became dissatisfied and was actually sabotaging myself.

God tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “Whenever they measure themselves by their own standards or compare themselves among themselves, they show how foolish they are” (ISV).

This subject brings up a couple of questions for me. Why do we see ourselves as flawed? Why are we not okay with the reality of who we are?

No one has a “perfect” body or a “perfect” face. And who decides what perfection is concerning our bodies and our looks? Who sets that standard anyway? Why do women spend thousands of dollars to have surgeries to get rid of wrinkles or make their lips bigger to change themselves to meet someone’s image of perfect (which is unattainable)?

I have looked at other women and thought, “Wow, she is really pretty!” … “She is so cute.” … “I love her smile!”…”That lady has beautiful eyes.” I have been able to see the beauty in others, but had a hard time seeing it in myself.

I can look at a flower and see how beautiful it is. I can look at a sunset and think how gorgeous it is. I can look at a gemstone and be amazed by its sparkle and beauty. And yet I don’t look at myself – the crown of all of God’s creation… a human being made in His own image – and see the beauty that God sees.

No more! I am determined to stop. I am never going to be like anyone else, nor should I. And I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t want to be. I want to have the body He gave me, including what I consider flaws or imperfections. These things are what make me unique. They are what make me so special. It is what makes me be ME!

Don’t get me wrong. Many of us need to eat better, or do something to move our bodies around more to be healthier than we are. (I fall into both of those categories.) But let’s do it for health reasons, because we know our bodies are the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit and we are to be good stewards of the body He has given us. Let it be because of the conviction of the Holy Spirit, knowing it is the direction He is taking us.

Let’s not do it because we are trying to change our appearance for others, or because we are trying to get back an image from our past.

I have finally come to believe what we consider “flaws” are actually God’s beauty marks that make us different from each other, and make us beautiful. I say it’s time to enjoy the body He has given each one of us. It is time to walk in freedom, and not be critical of the special outer shell each one of us has that is different than anyone else’s. That is a good thing, a wonderful thing, not something to be ashamed of or try to hide.

Pray this prayer along with me. Let’s ask God to help us change how we see ourselves, to see the beauty He sees.

Holy Spirt, I ask You to help me not to see any part of my body as a “flaw.” Every part of my body is a gift from you, and you do all things well. You look at me and say, “It is very good.” Yes, I want to be healthy, but I don’t want to be obsessed with having what someone else might consider a perfect body. Help me not to compare myself with others, and to not even compare myself with the body I had in my younger years. My body is not the same as it was then. I have had the incredible privilege to carry and bring life into this world. If that has changed how I look, I consider it an honor and a gift from you that my body is reflecting that blessing. I am determined not to compare myself with others anymore. Teach me how to be content, confident, and happy with who I am, both on the inside where only you can see, and also on the outside at what those around me can see.

Let me know if you are in this with me by leaving a comment below.

Gems from the Crown is a weekly blog from Crown of Glory Ministries to strengthen and encourage believers in Christ in their walk with God, especially in the areas of vision, authority, and identity. If you would like to have Gems from the Crown delivered directly to you, please click here.