It is so painful to watch our adult children go their own direction, either making choices against God’s Word or compromising the calling on their lives. In the last blog, I gave two of the seven ways we can help our adult children in this situation. If you missed it, you will want to go back and read Part 1 before reading this blog.
So far I have talked about the importance of unconditional love (loving them in their love language, not our own) and knowing the difference between discipline and judgment or manipulation. Let’s look at the next three ways we can help our adult children when they are not where we would like them to be in their spiritual walk.
3. Lots and lots of prayer
This has been another huge critical key as my kids began to make their own decisions and live their own life apart from my decisions for them. We know in our heads that we are supposed to pray, but do we actually believe and do it? And if so, what kind of prayers are we praying for them? Are they our own selfish prayers, telling God what we want Him to do, or are they prayers of grace and protection, favor, and blessings over our children?
There are so many effective and powerful ways we can pray for our adult children.
- Break generational curses – ask God what your child is dealing with that runs in the family, and break off those chains in the name of Jesus!
- Break ungodly soul ties – who have they been connected with in the past and right now that have a hold on their souls? Break off those connections and your child’s desire for those connections in the name of Jesus!
- Ask the Holy Spirit to hover over them
- Speak over them that they will be on a “short leash” and not be able to get very far from God and his love for them
- Study out the meaning of their name, and pray that over them, that they will come into alignment with who they are by name. God takes names very seriously. If you want to know more about this subject, I touch on it in Seven Ways to Help Find Your Royal Identity.
Prayer is extremely powerful. Don’t ever underestimate this weapon you have been given. Make sure to faithfully use it to blast the enemy as he goes after your child.
4. Take communion
I do this on a pretty regular basis, keeping a small bottle of juice (100% juice does not have to be refrigerated) and matzo crackers in my prayer room. Reminding myself and the enemy that I am in an unbreakable covenant through the body and blood of Jesus is another powerful weapon.
- All of our kids were dedicated to the Lord publically. Often during my communion time, I remind myself, and the enemy of that fact.
- All of my children received Jesus as an act of salvation at an early age. Taking communion reminds me that in the final battle, the enemy has already lost.
- Most of them also chose to be water baptized at early ages (one waited until 19). Our oldest son was baptized a second time as a young adult, as a declaration of a deeper understanding of his old life being buried and a renewed commitment of being alive to Christ. Baptism is another weapon we have against the enemy. Once again, while taking communion, I claim that act of symbolism my children chose to participate in, speaking death to their fleshly desires and for the Spirit of resurrection life to be active in the lives of my adult children.
This is a HUGE key. I won’t repeat it here, but I have a very specific story about a time God showed me how to use worship to change the atmosphere over my adult child. (I write about it in my book Triple Crown Transformation.) My daughter was living at home at the time, but worship can change the spiritual atmosphere over our children no matter where they are living.
Worship is a weapon that has a dual purpose. Not only can it affect the spiritual atmosphere over our children, it affects US, to pull us out from that place of worry and anxiety into a place of peace and trusting God.
I actually experienced this again just yesterday. Two days ago, my youngest let us know he was moving out, and within a couple of hours his friends (who have the typical generational hodgepodge of religious beliefs) were there with a truck to load his stuff up. That was shockingly abrupt. Obviously I did not have time to process this before it happened (or have time to try and talk him out of it, which might be exactly why it was this abrupt…?) I pretty much cried the rest of the evening.
Yesterday morning, as I spent time crying and praying and crying and worshiping, I saw myself in a boat, and my son in a smaller boat next to me. I took the rope between our two boats, and released my end, dropping it into the water to let him go. Hard? For sure! And as I continued to read scriptures and saturate myself in worship, my peace returned and in my weakness, I began to take on His strength.
Later that morning in church (on Mother’s Day, go figure!) as I was worshiping the Lord from deep within my heart, I saw my son in his boat, which had already gone quite a bit away from me, but this time I saw Jesus in the boat with him waving at me. Wow! What a wonderful reminder and reassurance that no matter what happens, no matter where my son is, Jesus is right there with him!
I am so very thankful when we worship the One who is worthy of our love, no matter what we may be feeling, He will come to us and meet us in our place of need!
I pray this has been helpful to you. Next week I will share with you the final two of the seven ways to help our adult children.
Which one of these three ways spoke you the most, that you plan on implementing right away? Let me know in the comments.