There are several studies and books that talk about personality types. One book refers to them as four different animals. Based on that book, I am a playful otter, and my husband is a loyal golden retriever. We had to laugh when we realized that must be one reason our marriage works so well; I like to have fun, and he likes to watch me have fun!
We both also have different giftings and strengths. God gave me the giftings of a leader and teacher, with an anointing to teach children. Dave has totally different giftings and callings, such as the gift to analyze situations and he has wisdom with finances. (I, on the other hand, am not very good at either of those things.)
I don’t want to push him out of the way so I can do the things he is good at and does well, nor does he want to push me out of the way to do the things I am good at and do well.
I am thinking of one area in particular where these differences could definitely be seen as we raised our kids. I almost always led our nightly family devotions when our children were young. I used to get very frustrated that Dave wouldn’t step in and take over. I saw it as a weakness in him, and I’d get upset (but I wouldn’t tell him about my frustration, I would just stew about it.)
Years later, after our children were grown, we had a discussion about it. After all those years, I finally realized he was allowing me to use my giftings in our home with our own children. He wasn’t being a husband pushing his wife out of the way just to be the “man of the house” based on what others thought a husband and father should do.
There are those who will say that means I was “wearing the pants in the family” and Dave was not being the head of the home. But that wasn’t the case. Our marriage has always been one of co-submission, and I have always allowed him to have the final word on decisions made in our home. (See my previous blog What I Have Learned About Submission After 31 Years of Marriage.)
How about you? Are there areas in your life you are weak in, where you pull others forward to take your place? Or do you insist on doing it yourself, while someone who could do it so much easier and better is forced to watch on the sidelines?
Don’t let what others might think of you keep you from being effective in what God has called you to do.
God’s plans for us are not “man-sized” plans; they are “God-sized” plans. That means you are going to need others to help you.
Insisting on doing something myself when there is someone in my life who can do it for me, and do it better than me, is called pride.
James 4:6 tells us “God resists the proud” (NKJV). Some translations say God opposes the proud. It goes on to say that He gives grace to the humble.
So I can either walk in pride, insisting on doing something that is not my area of gifting, and have God resist or oppose me,
I can humble myself, allowing someone else to be used in their gifting, and have God’s grace be a part of whatever it is I am doing.
So we get to choose whether we want God’s resistance or God’s grace. It seems a bit obvious when we look at it from God’s perspective, doesn’t it?
Is there a time when you stepped aside and let someone else’s gifting shine, and you saw God’s grace come in a sweet or powerful way? I would love to hear about it in the comment section below.