There are moments on this grief journey when prayer feels impossible. As grieving parents, we know there are days when the pain is so overwhelming that we cannot find the words. We may be sitting quietly, staring out a window, lying awake in the middle of the night, or driving down the road with tears streaming down our face, wanting to pray but not knowing what to say.

If you have ever felt that way, I want to share a truth that has brought me comfort over the years: Jesus is praying for you after child loss.

Not praying for grieving parents in general. Not praying for believers as a group. Scripture tells us that Jesus Himself is interceding for each one of us personally. 

Jesus Always Lives to Intercede for You

Hebrews 7:25 tells us, “Therefore, he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.”

I love that phrase, “He always lives to intercede for them.” Jesus is alive. He is seated at the right hand of the Father, and He is continually interceding on our behalf. That means that Jesus is praying for you after child loss right now. Not just on the days when your faith feels strong. Not just when you are reading your Bible. Not just when you remember to pray. Always.

For many of us, especially after the death of our child, there are times when we wonder if God sees our pain. We may feel forgotten, abandoned, or overlooked. Yet Scripture reminds us that Jesus continually carries us before the Father. What a powerful thought for a grieving parent. Even when we feel alone, we are not alone.

Jesus Reveals the Father’s Heart

Sometimes people picture Jesus standing between us and an angry Father, trying to persuade God not to punish us. But that is not what Scripture teaches.

Jesus is not trying to convince the Father to love you. The Father already loves you.

In fact, Jesus came to reveal the Father’s heart. In John 14:9, Jesus said, “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.” He also declared, “I and the Father are one.”

When Jesus walked this earth, He showed us exactly what God is like. When Jesus welcomed those who were hurting, we saw the heart of God. When Jesus touched the untouchable, we saw the heart of God. When Jesus stood beside grieving sisters at the tomb of Lazarus and wept with them, we saw the heart of God.

The same Jesus who showed compassion to the broken and hurting is the One who is praying for you today. Jesus is praying for you after child loss because He loves you, and because the Father loves you. He is not standing against you. He is standing with you.

Jesus Was Praying for You Before You Were Born

One of the most amazing truths in Scripture is found in John chapter 17. Just before His arrest and crucifixion, Jesus prayed for His disciples, but then He expanded that prayer beyond those who were physically present.

Jesus said, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message.”

Think about that for a moment. Jesus was praying for future believers. He was praying for you.

Before you were born, before your child was born, before you experienced the heartbreak of child loss, Jesus already knew you and was praying for you. As a pareavor, I find incredible comfort in that truth. Jesus knew the road we would walk, the questions we would ask, and the tears we would cry.

And He prayed.

According to Hebrews 7:25, He never stopped. 

I don’t know how that works, but I do know that He is eternal, and that our finite brains cannot comprehend such a big God. 

When You Don’t Know What to Pray

One of the challenges many grieving parents face is feeling unable to pray. Sometimes we are too exhausted. Sometimes we are too confused. Sometimes we are angry. Sometimes our pain simply runs too deep for words.

Thankfully, God understands that.

Romans 8:26 tells us that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness and intercedes for us when we do not know what to pray. Think about the comfort found in that truth. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Jesus intercedes for us. The entire Godhead is involved in helping us through our weakness and our pain.

When we do not know how to pray after child loss, God does not stand back waiting for us to figure it out. He comes alongside us, carries us, helps us, and even prays for us. That alone should bring comfort to every grieving parent who has ever felt guilty for not praying enough.

Jesus Prayed for Peter Through His Trial

There is another beautiful example of Jesus’ intercession found in Luke 22. Jesus told Peter that Satan had asked to sift him like wheat. Yet Jesus said something remarkable: “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.”

Notice what Jesus did not promise. He did not promise Peter would avoid hardship. He did not promise Peter would avoid pain. He did not promise Peter would avoid failure.

Instead, He promised that He was praying for him.

Peter still went through the trial, but his faith survived.

As grieving parents, we often wish God would remove our pain. Most of us have prayed for that many times. I remember one time specifically, lying on the carpet with tears running, telling God I just wanted it to stop hurting so much.

Yet often God sustains us through our pain instead of removing it. One of the ways He does that is through the ongoing intercession of Jesus.

How many times have we made it through another day because Jesus was praying for us when we could not pray for ourselves?

Rooted in His Love

Near the end of his prayer in Ephesians 3, Paul writes these beautiful words:

“By constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you. And the resting place of His love will become the very source and root of your life.”

The death of a child can leave us feeling uprooted. Everything we thought we knew about life may feel shaken. Our plans, our dreams, and sometimes even our understanding of God can be challenged.

But Jesus is praying for you after child loss so that His life can be released deep within you and His love can become the source and root of your life. Not because the pain disappears. Not because you stop missing your child. But because His love becomes the place where you live, rest and find strength for another day.

Instead of being rooted in fear, despair, confusion or hopelessness, we can become rooted in His love. That is a powerful gift for every pareavor.

A Final Thought

If you are struggling today, I want to encourage you with this simple truth: Jesus is praying for you after child loss.

When your faith feels weak, He is praying. When your heart feels shattered, He is praying. When your questions seem unanswered, He is praying. When you do not have the words, He is praying.

You are not forgotten, abandoned, or carrying this burden alone. The same Jesus who walked beside the hurting, comforted the grieving, and wept at the tomb of a friend is still interceding for you today.

May you find peace in knowing that His love surrounds you, His life is at work within you, and His prayers are helping carry you through this journey one day at a time. No matter where you are on this road of child loss, you can rest in the assurance that Jesus sees you, understands your pain, and continues to faithfully pray for you.

NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 352. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.

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Click here to find out more about the word pareavor.

To support this podcast and, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content, visit us on Patreon.

If you’re walking this road after the loss of your child and would like something to come alongside you, I’ve created a gentle resource from my own journey that you are welcome to download below.

AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.

In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.

For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.

The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope. 

One of the loneliest parts of becoming a pareavor is realizing that life has changed in ways most people around you cannot fully understand. When no one understands your pain after child loss, it can feel like a second loss layered on top of the first. Not only are you grieving the death of your precious child, but you may also be grieving the loss of feeling understood by the people around you.

The truth is, most people genuinely care. They love us. They hurt for us. But unless someone has buried their own child, they cannot truly comprehend the depth of this kind of pain.

And honestly, before my daughter died, I did not understand it either.

The Moment Everything Changes

There is something about the moment we learn our child has died that becomes permanently etched into our memory.

Many of us can tell you exactly where we were, what we were doing, who was with us, and even details that seem insignificant years later. It is as though time itself stops, and that moment becomes frozen forever.

One moment life feels normal. The next moment, everything changes.

Many grieving parents describe entering a darkness they never knew existed. Suddenly, the future we imagined disappears. The life we knew no longer exists. The person we used to be feels lost somewhere in the devastation.

When no one understands your pain after child loss, that darkness can feel even deeper because we begin carrying not only our grief, but also a profound sense of isolation.

Why Others Cannot Fully Understand

One of the hardest truths for grieving parents to accept is that most people will never fully understand our loss.

That is not because they don’t care.

It is because child loss is something that cannot truly be understood from the outside.

Even among bereaved parents, every loss is different. I cannot fully understand your loss, because the relationship with your child was different than mine, your child was different  from mine, their age was probably different, and so on. But that also means you cannot fully understand mine. We may share similar emotions, but every child is unique and every grief journey is deeply personal.

Realizing this can actually bring a measure of freedom.

When we stop expecting people to fully understand what they cannot understand, we can begin to appreciate their love and support without placing impossible expectations on them.

Many people want to help. They simply do not know how.

The Gift of Being Present

One of the things I have learned over the years is that grieving parents rarely need perfect words.

In fact, there usually are no perfect words.

When our child dies, we do not need someone to explain our pain away or offer solutions. We do not need someone to tell us how to feel or how long our grief should last.

What we need is presence.

We need someone willing to sit with us in the darkness.

We need someone willing to listen.

We need someone willing to acknowledge that our child lived and mattered.

Sometimes the most comforting words someone can offer are simply, “I cannot imagine your pain, but I am here.”

That kind of presence speaks louder than any speech ever could.

Why Other Pareavors Matter So Much

This is one reason that connecting with other bereaved parents can be so powerful. When no one understands your pain after child loss, meeting another parent who has walked this road can feel like finally taking a deep breath after holding it for far too long.

Another pareavor understands why certain dates can undo us. They understand why hearing our child’s name is a gift. They understand why a simple question like, “How many children do you have?” can suddenly leave us speechless. They understand why years later we can still be caught off guard by a wave of grief.

Most importantly, they help remind us that we are not alone.

There is tremendous comfort in discovering that someone else has felt what we are feeling and survived it.

When Grief Makes You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself

Many grieving parents begin wondering if something is wrong with them.

• Why can’t I focus?
• Why do I forget things?
• Why am I so exhausted?
• Why do I feel disconnected from everyone around me?

The reality is that profound grief affects every part of us.

Our minds struggle to process information. Our emotions become overwhelming. Simple tasks can feel impossible. Many of us find it difficult to read, concentrate, or even follow a conversation for very long.

When no one understands your pain after child loss, these experiences can make you feel even more isolated. That is why it is so important to hear from others who have walked this journey before us. Whether through books, support groups, podcasts or personal relationships, finding validation can bring a needed measure of healing.

Sometimes one of the greatest gifts another grieving parent can give us is simply the reassurance that we are not going crazy.

We are grieving.

Does God Understand?

For many parents, one of the deepest struggles after child loss is wondering where God is in the middle of all this pain.

Maybe you are angry with Him.

Maybe you feel abandoned.

Maybe you used to sense His presence, but now you feel nothing.

These are honest questions, and many grieving parents wrestle with them.

One truth that has brought comfort to countless bereaved parents is that God understands what it is like to lose a Son.

He watched Jesus suffer. He watched Him die. God understands the pain of losing a child in a way that no one else ever can.

That does not remove our questions or erase our grief, but it reminds us that we are not alone in it.

When no one understands your pain after child loss, God does.

Finding Comfort in God’s Word

Sometimes after our child dies, we long to hear God’s voice in some dramatic way. We want answers. We want explanations. We want relief.

Yet often, God meets us quietly through His Word. Verses about comfort, peace, mourning, hope, and His presence begin speaking directly into our pain.

One passage that has brought comfort to many grieving parents is Psalm 139, which reminds us that all the days ordained for us were written in God’s book before one of them came to be.

That truth may not answer every question, but it can help calm some of the endless “what ifs” and “if onlys” that often torment a grieving parent’s heart.

You Are Not Alone

If you are struggling because no one seems to understand your grief, I want you to know something.

You are not alone. There are other pareavors who understand. There are others who know what it is like to miss their child every single day. There are others who understand the loneliness, the confusion, the questions and the pain.

And most importantly, God understands. When no one understands your pain after child loss, He does.

Your grief is not too much.

Your love for your child is not something you need to apologize for.

And even though this road is incredibly difficult, you do not have to walk it by yourself. There are others beside you, and there is a God who continues to carry you, one step at a time.

NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 351. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.

Click here for information on the GPS Hope & Healing Cruise.

Click here to find out more about the word pareavor.

To support this podcast and, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content, visit us on Patreon.

If you’re walking this road after the loss of your child and would like something to come alongside you, I’ve created a gentle resource from my own journey that you are welcome to download below.

AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.

In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.

For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.

The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.