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June 7, 2020 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

Deep Grief Leaves Deep Scars

When we are deeply wounded, a scar is left behind. That happens both physically and emotionally.

When I was around three years old, my dad took my sister and me on a bike ride around the neighborhood at my grandma’s house. We had done it before. My sister was sitting behind him, and I was sitting in front of my dad as he was pedaling the bicycle. This one time, when he turned the wheel, I didn’t spread my legs far enough and got my ankle caught in the bike spokes. It took out a chunk of my ankle, and I ended up with a staph infection.

It took me out of commission for quite some time, and I didn’t get to play in the water that summer. I had to sit on the edge of the pool with my injured ankle wrapped in a plastic bread wrapper to make sure it stayed dry. We have a picture of me dangling my non-injured leg in the water while watching my sister and cousins splash around having fun.

I recovered, but I still have a scar on my ankle and always will.

At age forty-eight, my husband, Dave, ended up having quadruple bypass surgery. Recovery took a long time, and over ten years later he still has some effects from it and is on certain medications for the rest of his life. He also has a permanent scar, reminding us what he went through.

If you have been connected to GPS Hope for very long, you know that my daughter, Becca, had her leg amputated when she was only three years old because of bone cancer. (She died at age twenty-nine due to long-term heart damage from one of the chemo drugs given to her at that time.) Obviously, she had a scar on her stump from the amputation.

Becca’s missing leg can be a good illustration for to us, as bereaved parents. Having our child die is like having an amputation; a part of our very being has been cut off from us. The wound is severe, but it will eventually heal, but there will always be a scar, reminding us that a part of our very being is missing.

But the comparisons don’t stop at the scar of the injury.

Did having a staph infection in my ankle keep me from ever riding a bike or swimming again? No way! I loved riding a bike, especially as a kid (although I recently switched to enjoying riding my mini Segway) and I love to swim and be in the water, especially in warm places with beautiful beaches.

Did having quadruple bypass surgery keep Dave from permanently doing things like holding and playing with his grandchildren, or starting new adventures like selling our house and learning how to drive a 38-foot motor home that we now live in? Nope!

Did having an amputation keep Becca from running and playing with the other children? No, it definitely did not! It may have slowed her down and caused her to adapt to how she ran and how she played, but it didn’t stop her.

When these horrible things happen, including something as terrible as the death of our child, does it mean our life is over, and we will never be able to live a full life again? No, it doesn’t.

We need time to go through a “recovery” process (for lack of a better word) and need time to learn how to function with our child no longer here, but it doesn’t mean we will never be able to function again.

  • We will go through times when everyone around us is splashing and playing while we are unable to participate because of our wounds.
  • We will go through times when we can’t function and have to wait for more healing.
  • We will go through times when we have to adjust the way we do things.
  • We will forever bear the scar of our tragedies.
  • We will always have things that trigger reminders.

But we are not permanently injured to the point of being out of commission for the rest of our lives.

Our lives will never be the same. We will never be the same. But within that, we can make sure the tragedies in our lives are not wasted by leaving us incapacitated. And that includes the tragedy of the death of our child.

We can allow God’s love to wash over us, to heal us, and to take this change in us and use it against the enemy who brought death into this world.

And just think, all of our scars will disappear someday, both the physical ones and the emotional ones, when we join our children in that place where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, and all of our tears will be wiped away.

But until then, we need to remember…

Wounds heal so that we can continue living. Yes, our scar reminds us of what happened, of who was cut off from us, but it also reminds us that our life isn’t over. There is still more living to do, if not for yourself, then at least for those who love you and still need you in their lives, and for your child who is no longer here.

We can (and need to) learn to live with our scars in a way that honors our son or daughter, not in spite of our child’s death, but because of his or her life.

 

Are you looking for glimpses of hope in the suffocating darkness of grief after the death of your child? Join over 1,000 other parents who get a word of hope delivered directly to them every week. (You can easily unsubscribe when you no longer need the encouragement.)

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

  • Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
  • If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on Facebook.
  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.
  • Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel. 

Filed Under: Expressions of Hope Tagged With: adapting to grief, amputation grief analogy, bereaved parent support, child loss, Christian grief, death of a child, emotional scars, GPS Hope, grief recovery, grieving parents, healing after child loss, honoring your child, hope for grieving parents, Laura Diehl, learning to live again, life after loss, living with grief, scarred but not broken, spiritual healing after loss, surviving child loss

May 17, 2020 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

Tips to Help Get Through the First Couple of Years After the Death of Your Child

Here are some specific practical things grieving parents can do to help themselves during those first couple of years.

Some of these things you will immediately think, “I could never do that!” and that’s okay, even expected. But there should be at least one or two things that give hope and seem doable.

There are no shortcuts to this; only ways to help ease the burden of it at times. But before you get to the list of thoughts and suggestions, here are a few things that are helpful to know:

  • Anything under five years for the death of one’s child is considered fresh grief, so it’s okay to be a mess for the first few years.
  • The death of one’s child is considered a trauma (and many parents also have PTSD). Give yourself lots of grace, especially when others around you don’t.
  • You must go through this; there is no way around it. Sorry…
  • There is no timetable.
  • Moving forward does not mean you are leaving your child behind.
  • You will survive.
  • You are not alone!

After sharing those things that are important to know, here is the list of practical things to consider doing, to help you see light in the darkness and hope when you feel hopeless.

  1. Perspective – Ask God to give you His perspective on something that is plaguing you with fear, anxiety or panic because of your limited view. God has done that for me so often, and it really helps to see these intensely painful thoughts through His infinite eternal eyes instead of my own limited earthly ones.
  2. Do your best to stop the “What ifs” and “Whys” – They serve absolutely no purpose, they won’t bring your child back, and they can send you spiraling down further into that suffocating pit. These thoughts just bring torment.Instead, start asking God “How?” How is He going to help you get through this? How is He going to get you to want to live again without your child? How is He possibly going to take something this horrific and bring even remotely good from it? (Those are the questions He likes to answer.)
  3. Start a thankfulness journal – What we focus on will consume us. Allow yourself to start seeing what is still around you. Every night, make yourself write down 3 things you can be thankful for.It could be as small as I noticed a bird chirping today for the first time since my child died, or I walked by the bakery and it smelled really good, or I didn’t start crying today until I got into the shower instead of when I first woke up.
  4. Forgive – When our child dies, there are so many people we need to forgive from the person who caused it, people around us who are hurting us in our grief, ourselves, our child for leaving us, and yes, God. Unforgiveness is extremely heavy baggage we carry around. Forgiveness is not for others, to let them off the hook, but to release ourselves from them, lightening our load. (The Grieving Parents Sharing Hope Podcast has an entire series on forgiveness and those we may need to forgive. Go to www.gpshope.org/podcast episodes 1-8.)
  5. Laughter – You will probably feel guilty the first time you laugh. “How can I possibly be happy when my child died? What kind of an awful parent am it?” It is important to get yourself past that, by thinking about the fact that your child is beyond happy where he or she is! They are full of joy beyond what we will ever be able to experience here on this earth. They are HAPPY, and it is okay for you to be happy again while here on earth. This separation, as painful as it is, is only temporary.
  6. Music – God created music to be a pathway to our soul. I spent hours and hours soaking my soul in music that reminded me how big God is, how faithful He is, how much He loves me and my family, and sometimes just instrumental music as I sobbed, allowing God to comfort my shattered heart. Make sure the music you listen to isn’t about despondency, depression and darkness. That isn’t what you should be feeding into your soul and it will keep you in that suffocating place much longer.
  7. Pick up an old hobby or start a new one – I know someone who got the equipment and went back to the days when she used to make pottery. Another friend started refinishing furniture and making wood signs with sayings and now has her own indoor booth area locally to sell them. Find a hobby that will help take your thoughts off of your loss for a while. (Yes, the sadness will still be there, but it is helpful to be able to have your thoughts occupied with something that your hands are doing.) Sewing, gardening, get back to stamping, coloring, do paint-by-numbers, start a collection of something, take an auto mechanics course… the options are endless!
  8. Get out and walk or do something active – I know we have such a huge lack of energy that even taking a shower can wipe us out for the day. But we need to take care of ourselves and get moving, even if it is just to walk up and down the block each day. I know of at least two parents who started running marathons after their child died. Our physical health affects our mental, emotional and even spiritual health. Being in deep grief has gotten our bodies majorly out of whack, and the sooner we can do things to help our physical health (like move around instead of just sitting in a chair staring all day), the sooner it will trickle to the other areas of our emotions, our mental health, and help our spirits to be more easily strengthened.
  9. Eat healthy and drink lots of water – Even if food has no taste and you have no appetite, you need nourishment. I admit, I am one to run to comfort foods and am still paying the price with the extra weight it gave me. Even if it is one small healthy meal a day, and several small glasses of water, it will start taking an effect and you will be better equipped to handle the grieving process.
  10. Volunteer – Help others. This one is a key that many grieving parents find successful. There is something about helping others that lifts your heaviness a bit and opens your heart to warmth and goodness. Serve in a soup kitchen, volunteer at the local animal shelter, help at a local food or clothing bank. Help raise money for an organization that has a special place in your heart because of your child. There are so many great organizations that need feet on the ground to keep their doors open.
  11. Get a pet – I know of several grieving parents who got a pet to help comfort them and bring some joy into their lives after the death of their child and just can’t say enough about how much it has helped them, both emotionally and physically. (Most of them got dogs – I am a cat person, myself.)
  12. Be aware of your self-talk and your thoughts – His light is still in us, His peace is in us, the seed of Hope is in us. Your mind is active all the time. It is either thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts. Do your best not to let it become the devil’s playground with fear, doubt, lies and anxiety. When you find yourself struggling with so much overwhelming darkness and negativity, look at the things above and pick something that will pull you out of that place. If that doesn’t work, pick something else. Do what you can to try and not to stay in that place for days and weeks on end.
  13. Think of heaven – our future to come and where our child is. Heaven is a wonderful place! And now that our child is there, we want to skip the rest of our time here and be there with him or her! (Jesus told us that where our treasure is, our heart will be also, so it makes sense that our heart is in heaven with our child.) Books are great for this! There are several great books that bring the reality of heaven closer, which brings our child closer. Fact: God gave us the gift of imagination. We can either imagine the horrible things that keep us in darkness and panic, or we can imagine the joy and fun our children are having right now. It’s our choice. One keeps us in chains, the other can set us free.

I want to end by sharing what may be THE most important practical thing you can do, which is to urge you to connect with others who are ahead of you on this journey.

I know you may feel like you don’t want to be pulled down even more by being around a bunch of other people who have lost their children and are a mess like you. That is exactly what I thought, so it took me three years to meet up with other bereaved parents. And when I did, I wish I had done it sooner, because it did the exact opposite. It was a relief and so healing to be around a bunch of other people who had also lost their child and were a mess like me!

They got it. I didn’t have to wear a mask or explain any emotions. I didn’t have to feel guilty for laughing at something or stupid for crying. I didn’t have to apologize for wanting to talk about my daughter, or for not wanting to talk about her.  And I found out that so many things that I thought were me going crazy and losing it for so long, were all a normal part of grieving the death of my daughter, Becca.

So, I encourage you to look for those who have found their way out of the darkness and are willing to go back in and walk with others in their place of darkness; those who will not only give you hope, but will be that hope for you, until you find it for yourself.

 

If these tips were helpful, you may also be interested in getting a PDF of Thirty Suggestions to Help Bring Ourselves Comfort and Take Care of Ourselves. Just let us know where to send it. 

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

  • Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
  • If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on Facebook.
  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.
  • Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel. 

Filed Under: Expressions of Hope Tagged With: coping with grief, emotional support for parents, finding peace after grief, forgiveness in grief, grief support, grieving parents, healing after child loss, healing journey, hope after loss, overcoming grief, practical steps for grieving parents, self-care for grieving parents, support for bereaved parents

May 3, 2020 by Linda Christofferson 4 Comments

The Death of a Child is a True Test of Faith

Our son Lukas died as a result of a drunk driving crash; he was a passenger in the vehicle.

Losing our son has been a true test of our faith.  I know in my soul, that as bad as the injuries were, God could have healed Lukas 100%.  We hear of the miracles often in the Bible as messages of hope.

The eighth and ninth chapters of Matthew are full of miracles of healing:

  • Healing at Capernaum
  • Driving out demons
  • A girl restored
  • A woman healed
  • Healing of the blind

In John chapter eleven, Jesus even raised his friend Lazarus from the dead.

Since the day we lost our son, it has been especially hard to hear these stories, because that’s not our story.

For the first few days that Lukas was in the hospital, all I could pray was “save my son.” After a few more days, I was able to pray that if he was healed, he would also be made whole.  I knew Lukas would not be happy if he was incapacitated and as much as I wanted him here, I didn’t want the rest of his life to be a daily struggle for him.

When one of my friends came to see us in the hospital, she shared with me that she heard God tell her that Lukas is all right.  When she told me this, I couldn’t really respond, because I heard what the medical staff was telling me, and it wasn’t promising. At the time, she thought that Lukas would have an earthly healing. Now we know that he IS all right, but not the way we had hoped and prayed.

My favorite verse is Romans 8:28 “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God; those who are called according to His purpose.” I struggled with this for a while. It is hard to find the good in the death of a young man with his whole life ahead of him.  He had so many people who cared about him. He had a solid plan for his future.

I know that since his accident happened on Easter weekend (probably the highest attended church service), it was likely that thousands of people were praying for his healing.  But we know that God’s plan is bigger than ours is.

Maybe “all things working together for good” doesn’t meet our definition of good but God’s.

Personally, I’d rather have my son here with me; I’d rather see his children come into the world; I’d rather that my other children have their little brother to grow old with, but that is not going to happen.

As I read Romans 8:28 and wonder, “Good? Where is the good in this?”  I continue to read on and see Romans 8:35 that says, “Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” and I see that God is here to comfort me and the rest of my family.

My anguish cannot separate me from the love of Christ.  It’s hard to remember that God loves our children more than we do. That’s hard to even comprehend, but He does.

We know that God did not let this happen to hurt anybody.  And when we lean on Him for comfort, He is there, even just to hold us while we fall apart.  I do not believe it is lack of faith to completely fall apart, or to question, or even to shake our fist at God asking WHY???  as long as we work through those emotions. This is part of grief.  This is what the Psalms are.

With His help, I do not stay in that pit of pain.

Corrie Ten Boom said, “When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.” Our world is still pretty dark at times, but trusting Him, our Engineer, helps us to bring back the light.

Yes, I’ve asked why. I’ve questioned how this could possibly be okay.  How can our son, who was liked by everyone, who had a future planned, not be here anymore?

The thing that keeps me going is the promise of seeing my child again. Every day here on earth brings me a day closer to the reunion promised to us because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

 

Linda Christofferson lost her son, Lukas, as a passenger in a drunk/drugged driving crash. She never lost faith in God and His plan but has struggled with His allowing this to happen. 
Linda and her husband, Robert, vowed from day one that this loss would not be in vain.  They have spoken to several hundred high school students about the impact of impaired driving and take the time to speak with young people individually when the opportunity presents itself.

Would you like to write for GPS Hope? Contact us at office@gpshope.org.

 

Expressions of Hope is written (or provided) by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

  • Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
  • If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on Facebook.
  • Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel. 
  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

Filed Under: Expressions of Hope Tagged With: brokenhearted faith, coping with grief, drunk driving accident, faith after loss, faith in grief, God’s plan after tragedy, grieving parents, healing after child loss, hope after grief, impaired driving awareness, impaired driving impact, loss of a child, loss of son, overcoming grief, Psalms of comfort, trusting God in grief

April 5, 2020 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

Five Lessons About Grief from Climbing a Mountain

A few weeks ago, the Hope Mobile (our 38-foot motor home that we live in full-time) was parked at a campground in a beautiful valley, surrounded by small mountains. As I would go walking in the mornings, a few of those times I found myself following a trail that took me up one of those mountains.

One morning I realized how my climb up the mountain paralleled several things in my grief journey after my oldest daughter, Becca, died. Here are five of those things.

  1. It’s a lot of work climbing up those mountains. And when you get to the top, it’s wonderful, but you don’t get to stay there. You must work your way back down.

The earlier we are in our grief journey, the harder the climb is and the less time we stay at the top. We find ourselves almost immediately tumbling back down the mountainside, back into the valley. With anything in life, mountaintop experiences are great, even exhilarating. But we don’t get to stay there. It is in the valley where most maturing happens and life-lessons are learned, including how much we need to depend on God to be our guide though this life.

  1. What kept me moving forward and continuing to go up the mountain was not being able to see the full path in front of me. I freely admit I would not have kept going if I could have seen the full path all the way to the top. I kept thinking, “I’ll just go up to that point where it curves, and I’ll probably be at the top.” And when I would turn that corner, there would be more path and I would think again, “Okay, let me get to that point up there,” and I would get there and find more path.

It’s a good thing we can’t see the full path of our lives ahead of time. We can only take a little bit at a time. But that doesn’t mean every corner we turn is bad, it is just unknown what lies ahead. If we keep going, based on what we can see, and not worry about what we can’t see, we will eventually make it all the way.

  1. The last mountain I climbed was taking longer than I thought it would. I was getting quite tired and I started hoping I would meet up with the path I was on the day before, which would be a quicker way back down. As I kept going forward, looking for that other path, I eventually found myself at the very top of this new mountain. As I looked to my right, I was shocked to see that waaaayyyy down below me was the top of the mountain where I had stood the day before. I had no idea that I was climbing that much higher!

As we keep walking on this journey, one step at a time (sometimes one breath at a time) we will one day suddenly discover that we are doing better than we ever thought we could or would. At the time though, it feels like we can’t go on and things will never get better.

  1. Quite often I was paying so much attention to the path and my steps, that I was missing the view, so sometimes I would stop and look out, to enjoy what was around me.

Quite often we are so consumed by our grief (and rightly so, especially those first few weeks and months) that we don’t see what is going on around us. There are good things all around us; things we can still be thankful for. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to put our grief on pause to look for those things.

  1. I also used those times of looking around at the view to get rested before continuing.

Grief is a lot of hard work! It can take everything we have just to be in survival mode. It’s okay to rest when you are weary, when triggers hit hard, and you don’t have any energy to do even the simplest things like take a shower or put a frozen pizza in the oven.

And if you are someone who has faced the death of your child, it is one of the worst traumas a person can go through on this earth. (You will find that experts support this, saying we are going through what is called “traumatic grief” and that five years and less is considered fresh grief for a parent who has lost a child.) You have been through a trauma and can possibly even be dealing with PTSD.

Rest is not only okay, it is what you need, in every area, physically, emotionally, and yes, even spiritually in some ways.

There is one last comparison I would like to share with you, which might possibly be the most important one.

I can show you lots of pictures I took while climbing these mountains. I can tell you some of the things God was speaking to me, but it was my personal climb. Even if you had been with me, we would have seen things through our own eyes and our own thoughts.

In other words, we can be on the same path together, and yet we will be on our own personal separate climb. I would only be able to do so much to pull you into what I was seeing and how I was feeling. I could point something out to you, but you would be seeing it through your own lens of life. You would be having your own experience. It would be with me, and yet separate from me. Some of our climb would be the same experience, and some of it would be very different.

We are each on our own grief journey. Even if you are like me and have lost a child from this earth, there is no way I know how you feel. I know how I felt after my daughter died. I know the suffocating darkness I experienced. I know how I would forget to breath and have to consciously tell myself to take a breath. I know how I wanted to stop hurting so bad and how the darkness lasted for so much longer than I thought it should.

I know how I didn’t want to live, which didn’t make sense because I knew in my head I had so much still to live for. (I had a loving husband, four other children and two grandchildren at the time – one of those being the 9-year-old daughter of my daughter who had died).  None of that mattered. My heart wanted to be with my daughter who was now gone from this earth, and I knew I couldn’t stay here if the rest of my life was going to be this painful. (I wasn’t suicidal, I just didn’t want to live any more and begged God to take me out of here!)

You see, we each have many of the same grief experiences, but it is all though our own personal journey of our personal relationship with the one who died. I know how I felt, but that doesn’t mean I know how you feel, even if you lost a daughter the same way I lost my daughter, through heart damage caused by chemotherapy.

I want to encourage you to keep climbing. If you started and found yourself back down in the valley, go again after you are rested. And even though we each have our own experience, please know that if you are a bereaved parent, we are here at GPS Hope (Grieving Parents Sharing Hope), walking with you every step of the way.

 

For those who would like some helpful ideas on how to take care of yourself on this grief journey, we would like to send you a free resource. To have Thirty Ways to Bring Yourself Comfort and Take Care of Yourself delivered directly to your inbox, just submit your name and email address below.

Note: This will connect you with GPS Hope, including joining over 1,000 bereaved parents who receive a Weekly Word of Hope email on our journey together. If you want to stop receiving it at any time, just hit the unsubscribe button at the bottom of any email.

 

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

  • Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
  • If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on Facebook.
  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.
  • Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel. 

Filed Under: Expressions of Hope Tagged With: bereaved parents, child loss grief, child loss support, emotional healing after child loss, five lessons grief journey, GPS Hope, GPS Hope blog, grief and healing, grief journey, healing after child loss, lessons from grief, mountain climbing and grief, personal grief experience, personal grief journey, resilience in grief, rest in grief, surviving child loss, trauma after child loss

December 26, 2019 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

Twas the Night After Christmas

Twas the Night After Christmas

-By Author Laura Diehl

 

Twas the night after Christmas and I was still numb;

The holidays felt like they had not really come.

It’s hard to explain, but it didn’t seem fair,

That my child is now gone, and I cannot share

The laughter and joy of this fun holiday

In our wonderful, traditional family way.

She is not nestled all snug in her bed

With memories of another Christmas filling her head.

“Will it ever get better?” I ask in my heart,

Knowing that each year we will remain apart.

As I cry out to God full of heartache and tears,

He reminds me His presence remains very near.

And though I don’t feel a desire to celebrate

The reason to do so remains very great.

For Jesus came as a baby on earth

To give life here meaning, value and worth.

And even though I have said goodbye

And I am confused and don’t know why,

The truth remains I will see you again

And there will be no more tears or pain.

But until that day comes and it’s my turn to go

There is one thing that I certainly know,

The love that I have for you is without measure

And you remain in my heart, as a beautiful treasure.

And while dreading to go into a year that is new

I realize each day brings me closer to you.

My Christmas may not have been merry and bright,

But because Jesus came, someday, it will all be made right.

 

 

Are you a newly bereaved parent, having lost your child in the last year or two? If so, we would like to send you a word of hope and encouragement from someone who has been right where you are. You are not alone. Let us here at Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) walk with you on this unwanted life-long journey.

(Along with this PDF, you will be added to our email list to receive a Weekly Word of Hope, which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

  • Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
  • If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on Facebook.
  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.
  • Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel. 

Filed Under: Expressions of Hope Tagged With: bereaved parent Christmas, child loss Christmas, Christmas grief support, Christmas without child, coping with holiday grief, dealing with child loss, GPS Hope, grief after child loss, grief after Christmas, grief and hope, grief during the holidays, grief encouragement, grieving during holidays, grieving parents, grieving parents sharing hope, healing after child loss, holiday grief, holiday hope for grieving parents, holiday season grief, hope after child death, Laura Diehl, parenting after loss

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