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102: Child Loss was Not in My Plan

We just got done having our GPS Hope and Healing retreat in Texas and it was wonderful! (See the link below if you want to find out more about our retreats.) Today and next week’s episodes are one of the sessions from this past retreat.

None of us ever planned to be listening to a podcast for parents who have faced the death of their child! But we know that sometimes things that happen in our lives here on earth are not what we planned.

If you are like me, I had no idea this kind of suffocating darkness even existed. So, if this wasn’t in our plans, it makes sense that we struggle for a very long time trying to navigate our way through it, looking for some sort of light and hope to be able to do more than just barely survive the rest of our time here.

Changing our perspective in certain areas is important to get us through the darkness and back to a place of light and learning how to live in a world without our child. In this episode I share three keys to help with this, and next week I will share a few more.

 

Links Mentioned in this episode:

GPS Hope & Healing Retreats

Book: When Tragedy Strikes

Get a copy of the Forgiveness Prayers 

I Am Afraid My Child Might Not Be in Heaven podcast episode

Join GPS Hope on a cruise! Click here for more information.

 

Don’t forget to give this podcast a rating and review to help other grieving parents find us!

Click here to become a monthly partner, giving hope to other parents, or to give a special gift to keep this podcast going, along with providing  other needed resources to bereaved parents.

(GPS Hope is a 501c3 nonprofit and runs on the financial support of those who believe in passing along the hope they have received to others.)

 

Birthdays:

Tommy Simmons was born on March 29 and is forever 59.

Jonda Steinkamp was born on April 2 and is forever 5 months.

William Judah was born on April 3 and is forever 40.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

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101: I Lost My Friends When My Child Died

When our child dies, we are surrounded by family and friends who hurt with us, cry with us and pray with us. Some of them will sit with us, call to see if there is anything we need, and we often get a couple weeks’ worth of meals brought to our house.

Then 3 months, 6 months, 12 months later, it seems some of those same people either start avoiding us or start hinting that maybe it’s time to pull ourselves out of our grief pit and start to move on (or they outright tell us that).

In this episode, you will find out that as sad as this is, it seems to be “normal” for most of us who have lost a child. It is very hurtful when that happens, and can be quite discouraging, but I want you to also see that you can still have hope for deep, lasting friendships.

 

Links Mentioned in this episode:

Don’t forget to give this podcast a rating and review to help other grieving parents find us!

Click here to get a Weekly Word of Hope.

 

Click here to become a monthly partner, giving hope to other parents, or to give a special gift to keep this podcast going, along with providing  other needed resources to bereaved parents.

(GPS Hope is a 501c3 nonprofit and runs on the financial support of those who believe in passing along the hope they have received to others.)

 

Birthdays:

Samuel Hines was born on March 19 and is forever 7.

Jacquelyn Landry was born on March 24 and is forever 18.

Waylyn McRae was born on March 25 and is forever 17.

Michael Young was born on March 26 and is forever 22.

Jacob Vidaurri was born on March 26 and is forever 20.

Dakota Crandall was born on March 27 and is forever 25.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

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Forgiving Yourself After Child Loss

by BJ Jensen

 

Moving beyond guilt is a necessary step in the journey of healing from the loss of a child. This particular part of grief can be the most difficult pain of all to overcome. In order to be free of guilt, it is necessary to ask for forgiveness of God, of your child, of oneself and if appropriate of others who are suffering the loss of your child.

God and your child will always forgive you because they love you and do not want you to continue to suffer guilt and sadness.  They want you to lead a life of purpose with joy.

Others, including a spouse or close relative, may not be willing to forgive right away, perhaps never.  But asking for forgiveness can free you of the burden of quilt, even if others choose not to let go of their grief and hopelessness.

Perhaps the most difficult test is forgiving yourself.  When we refuse to forgive, we are held captive like a convicted criminal.  Not forgiving sentences a person to a horrible life in a prison of our own making – one where we barely exist.  It is difficult but a necessary step in order to move toward the point of healing.  Sometimes forgiving takes the help of a trained professional or counselor.  Are you willing to forgive yourself or do you want to stay captive on a downward-spiraling path of self-loathing?

Many children’s deaths are accidental, and a life can end in only seconds. No parent can completely foolproof a child’s life. The tragic truth is that fatal accidents can and do happen every hour. When this happens, it is very common for a parent to fall into the self-damaging cycle of the “what if” or guilt trap.  Moving through the guilt of this unanswerable question often causes endless tears. Discussing the guilt has helped many parents to move beyond the “what if” trap. Tell those closest to you why you feel guilty, and ask for help. Although you may occasionally get a careless, hurtful response, family and friends will respond most often with compassion. Recognizing and admitting your feelings of guilt is a critical first step.

Put down on paper how you feel. Don’t leave anything out. Plan some sort of “letting go” ritual as a means of moving past your guilt. You might read aloud all of your guilty feelings to your spouse or to two or three close friends and then crumble the paper and toss it into a fire with all of your guilt. As you watch the paper burn, you may begin to feel your heavy burden lighten.

Finally, you must realize that without forgiving yourself, you will never be able to move forward.  You must make a determined effort to not allow yourself to ask the “what if” question. It is a futile question with no answer, and only adds to your grief.

By taking very precise steps to rid yourself of guilt, you will lift a heavy burden and finally be able to move forward in your journey of grief. Once you can move beyond the “what if” trap, you will know that you have successfully gotten rid of the gnawing questions that never really have any answers. Healing is about to begin!

 

This was taken by permission from the book “Finding Hope after the Devastating Loss of Beloved Children” by Dr. Doug and BJ Jensen. 

Doug and BJ Jensen, are International Speakers, award-winning Dramatists, Signing Artists, Song Writers, Drama Writers, and Authors of 16 books. Dr. Jensen earned his PhD in Biblical Studies in the area of Biblical Counseling.  BJ is the Director of the world traveling LOVE IN MOTION Signing Choir and is a writer of 8 stories found in seven of the CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL books.You can contact them at Jensen2@san.rr.com or on their Facebook page: Bj Jensen San Diego. 

 

Do you struggle with guilt from your child’s death? We would like to send you the eBook, Ten Tips to Overcome Guilt. Just submit your name and email address below. You will also begin to receive a Weekly Word of Hope for bereaved parents (which you can easily unsubscribe from at any time).

 

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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100: Here Comes Hope! (with Dave Diehl)

This is the 100th episode of the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope Podcast, which means it has been going faithfully for almost two years already!

In trying to decide what to do for this special episode, I realized that many of our listeners might not know things like how the ministry of GPS Hope got started, what happened that caused me to start writing my first book, or the crazy story of how we ended up purchasing the Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to live in full-time. So, I asked “the man behind the curtain” to join me, so we could share some of these things with you together.

You will also hear me share a nugget from a verse in the Bible that has a new meaning to all of us, after the death of our child.

Here’s to the first 100 episodes, and to many more, as God continues to lead the ministry of GPS Hope!

 

Dave Diehl is retired from a career of over thirty years in IT. He is the cofounder of GPS Hope, and is much of the “behind-the-scenes” support, including technical support for the ministry, and driving the Hope Mobile. Dave wrote a chapter in Laura’s book When Tragedy Strikes, and ministers directly to grieving fathers around the nation at the GPS Hope & Healing retreats.

 

Links Mentioned in this episode:

Website: gpshope.org

Read Becca’s story

In Loving Memory Hearts

Find out how to bring a GPS Hope weekend retreat in your area

Sign up for the Weekly Word of Hope

GPS Hope YouTube Channel

When Tragedy Strikes Hope & Healing online self-help courses

Information on The Grief Cruise  (a grief seminar on a cruise ship with special workshops by GPS Hope)

To become a Grieving Parent Sharing Hope by supporting GPS Hope monthly or with a special gift 

 

Don’t forget to give this podcast a rating and review to help other grieving parents find us!

Click here to become a monthly partner, giving hope to other parents, or to give a special gift to keep this podcast going, along with providing  other needed resources to bereaved parents.

(GPS Hope is a 501c3 nonprofit and runs on the financial support of those who believe in passing along the hope they have received to others.)

 

Birthdays:

Rohit Matthew was born on March 16 and is forever 23.

Adam Block was born on March 16 and is forever 34.

Taraoluwa Chizoba was born on March 17 and is forever 7.

Kyle Moroney was born on March 20 and is forever 23.

Aaron Wright was born on March 20 and is forever 32.

Joshua Aaron Smith was born on March 21 and is forever 21.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

 

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99. Grief and Music (with Hannah Linton and Kathi Wilson)

This is the last episode in our series of Grief and Music after Child Loss.

What you will be hearing is part of a conversation I had with Hannah Linton and her mom, Kathi Wilson that was originally recorded as a video in 2017 for our Hope & Healing Virtual Summit (online conference). Kathi is a singer/songwriter, and one of her CD’s I played many times in my little prayer room as it ministered to me in my place of suffocating darkness after my daughter Becca died.

Connections were made at some point, and Hannah was the first one to reach out to me, asking for help with her loss of a recently birthed a premature daughter who only lived a few hours. We became very close, as we corresponded with each other.

Hannah and her mom, Kathi, have a very special place in my heart, and I am thrilled to give you the chance to meet them in this episode. You will also get to hear one of Kathi’s songs called, These Are the Tears.”

 

Hannah Linton has been an integral part of the worship ministry of her mom, Kathi Wilson. She is blissfully married to Micah, her first love, and is a happy stay at home mom with her 4 beautifully abundant children. Hannah has lost 8 babies from this earth and walked the road of sorrow till she found the home comfort has become for her. Music and writing have played an important part of this journey.

Kathi Wilson has been crafting lyrics and making melodies to match them for over three decades. Songwriting has genuinely become a crucial element in how she navigates the sometimes very challenging journey we call “life.” As a singer/songwriter, Kathi is regularly motivated to express her deepest longings, in order to maintain a deep connection with her heart, to continue to cultivate her intimate friendship with God, and to build more meaningful relationships with everyone she learns to know. It is one of her greatest delights to release songs of deliverance and healing over broken hearts and torn up lives. 

 

(Note: The views and opinions of our guests outside of this podcast may not be in agreement with GPS Hope.)

 

Links Mentioned in this episode:

Kathi Wilson’s CD, Nothing Will I Withhold

Find out more about the GPS Hope & Healing Virtual Summit (online conference)

Donate $20 here to be entered for a $100 Amazon gift card drawing (deadline is March 13).

 

 

Don’t forget to give this podcast a rating and review to help other grieving parents find us!

Click here to become a monthly partner, giving hope to other parents, or to give a special gift to keep this podcast going, along with providing  other needed resources to bereaved parents.

(GPS Hope is a 501c3 nonprofit and runs on the financial support of those who believe in passing along the hope they have received to others.)

 

Birthdays:

Steven Kowalewski was born on March 11 and is forever 28.

Amy Rebecca Wetmore was born on March 13 and is forever 30.

Andrew Woulard was born on March 15 and is forever 23.

Jeffrey Macedo was born on March 15 and is forever 18.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

 

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