Expressions of Hope

May 1, 2022 by Laura Diehl 1 Comment

I Choose (by Carol Krawiec)

The following was written on April 28, 2014, two years to the day after losing our oldest son Daniel. It was the week after Easter. Our pastor had preached a message about what it was like for the disciples to live in the “Saturday” of that resurrection weekend. He compared the pain and confusion of that day following the death of Jesus to the world we live in today. He spoke of the joy of the resurrection on “Sunday’ and the secure hope that we as believers in Jesus Christ can cling to in the midst of trials.

That morning was a turning point for me in my journey of grief. I had walked through the first year numb and in a fog. The second year was so painful because as the fog began to subside, I felt the intense loss. Over the past ten years my grief has come in waves. As the waves recede, I am filled with a sense of God’s presence and a peace in knowing that Dan was at rest, and all is well with my soul.

In May of 2019 and June of 2021, we also lost Timothy and Benjamin, the two youngest of our five sons. It has taken many years of leaning into my grief to move along in my journey. It is far from over as I find myself in that place of raw grief once again. There are times when the enormity of my loss overwhelms me. I don’t pretend to understand it all, but I trust God and I know He will continue to faithfully carry me.

I CHOOSE
Life was forever changed two years ago, early on a Saturday morning.
As I sit on the floor of this room that was once occupied by our son
I choose not to allow the memory of the horrific discovery be my only thought.
I choose to picture this room as the place of a Holy visitation.
I choose to picture bright light breaking through the darkness of a raging battle.
I choose to visualize the broken chains that bound him to addiction lying on the floor.
I choose to be proud of the countless battles that our son won throughout his journey.
I choose to believe that although the enemy won the battle that day, God was victorious.
I choose to let the cleansing tears of a broken heart flow because I know that Jesus wept.
I choose to lift my hands in worship to my God and thank Him for the gift of 32 years.
I choose to believe that although this world is far from good, my God is Good.
I choose peace over anxiety; acceptance rather than anger; hope over despair.
I choose to believe that the pain I feel today is a reminder that this is not my Home.
I choose to rest secure in knowing that my child is forever with the Lord.
Because:
“No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.”
I choose to believe that even though I am living in the pain of “Saturday,”
“Sunday” is coming and it will all make sense when I see Him Face-to-face.

Carol’s three sons

Many of us feel guilty after the death of our child, thinking we should have done more, or made a different decision, or been there for them in a different way than we were, etc. Click here to read Help! I Feel so Guilty… written by a mom whose daughter died by suicide.

If you struggle with guilt, we would like to send you Ten Tips to Overcome Guilt. Just click here and fill in your name and email address and hit submit.

We promise we will not spam you. However, you will be added to our growing family of thousands of bereaved parents who receive a Weekly Word of Hope email each Wednesday morning. (Just use the unsubscribe button at the bottom of each email if you no longer wish to receive it.)

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.
If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on our private Facebook page or our public Facebook page.
If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

April 3, 2022 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

One Day (by Vickie Hickox)

One day I’ll wake up in the morning
And I will not miss your presence.
One day I’ll wake up in the morning
And I will not cry for you anymore.

One day I’ll wake up in the morning
And I will not miss your smile,
The sound of your voice
And your laughter.

One day I’ll wake up in the morning
And will not ask “Why?” anymore.
One day I’ll wake up in the morning
And will not have the longing to
Hug you and tell you I love you.

Because one day when I wake up
In the morning I will see your
Beautiful face again.
I will hear your voice,
I will hear your laughter
And see your smile again.

I will put my arms around you
And never let you go again.
I will tell you I love you
And how much I have missed you.

But until that day, I will live
This life without you.
I will find ways to honor your life and
Keep your memory alive.
I will cherish the memories of you
And hold them in my heart.

Until one day when I will wake up
To your beautiful face and we
Will spend eternity together
And my broken heart
Will once again be whole.

One day…

Vickie Hickox lost her son, Dominic, from this earth on June 22, 2019 from brain cancer, which sent her on a journey to rediscover who God is in the midst of such a horrible tragedy. She lives in Georgia, where she has been a correctional officer in a county jail for ten years. Whenever she can get away from her job, she enjoys spending time with her other children and grandchildren in Florida, and time on a beach somewhere.

We all need hope, or we cannot go on without our child here with us. If you would like to be sent a PDF of 36 scriptures of hope, to help in this area, just fill out the form below to let us know where to send it. (You will also be placed on our Weekly Word of Hope email list, which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.
If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on our private Facebook page or our public Facebook page.
If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

March 6, 2022 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

The Best Bible Verses to Help a Grieving Parent

I have a deep concern for the parents I am serving and ministering to, that God has sent my way. Many Bible believing parents (I will even say most of them) can become anywhere from frustrated to very angry with other Christians who have never experienced the death of their own child but will quote scriptures at a devastated and grieving parent, starting at the memorial service. I spend a chunk of my time seeking God on how to undo the damage caused by well-meaning Believers who want to either “comfort” these parents or “help them get the victory” over their grief with Bible verses.

I understand you may believe it is always the right time to share scripture with people who are hurting. You may be one who believes everything we share always needs to be backed up with Bible verses to make sure people are not being led astray. As a pastor’s kid and an international minister of the gospel, I used to believe the same thing… until my daughter passed from this earth.

Now I know that it is rarely ever a good thing for someone who has not lost a child from this earth through death to try and give advice (including quoting scriptures) to a parent who is in the place of deep grief and darkness after the death of their child. The exceptions are if you are someone who had a deep, intimate and trusting relationship with the parent before the death occurred (which includes spiritual leadership) or that parent has specifically come to you for hope and encouragement.

Sometimes because of a horrific tragedy or trauma, Christians can find themselves hurled into a suffocating pit that seems too deep, too dark and too hopeless to ever be able to get out. You and I both know that is not true, but if you are the one in the pit, it is almost impossible to believe otherwise. The death of your child is one of those times. I can say that because I have found myself thrown into that very pit when my oldest daughter died on October 12, 2011.

For many grieving parents, Bible verses are not going to be the “rope” that works to pull them out of that place. Many of them are confused and angry with God because of what has happened. People trying to tell them what the Bible says can make these deeply wounded sheep push both Christians and God away even more (which I know is not your heart) because they already know what the Bible says. They believed it, but now, much of what they believed appears not to be true.

So, what is one of the best Bible verses to have tucked away if someone you know has lost a child? I think it is Romans 12:15. It tells us to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and to weep with those who are weeping. Some translations say to mourn with those who mourn or to share their sorrow.

We need those who will lovingly climb down into the pit with us, to be our lifeline until we are ready to grab ahold of the truth of God’s Word for ourselves once again. God can and will use His Word to bring us hope and give us strength, but not when people around us throw it our way as a Christian cliché from an emotional distance as their way of helping us.

What does being in that place with us look like? Just sitting in silence with us, crying with us, watching a movie with us, listening to us talk about our child, helping with day-to-day functions such as doing our laundry, taking our car to a gas station and filling the tank, mopping our floors, taking our kids to practice, going for a short walk with us, etc.

When you are Christ’s hands of love being extended to someone in deep darkness, I believe the Holy Spirit will also prompt and anoint your words (whether it is scriptures or not) to be a comfort and a light of hope. He will also anoint your silence if that is what is needed for the grieving parent you are with.

If you are unable to be there for them in that way because of long distance or other circumstances, contact them through phone calls or texts. Leave messages that let them know you are thinking of them and hurting with them. Send them cards in the mail on a regular basis. If they begin to respond back (and it could take a while, as in weeks or months), then always be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and make sure anything you share with them is not you trying to fix them. Be the voice of gentle love, bringing true comfort, not correction.

Proverbs 15:23 is another verse to consider. It tells us that the right word at the right time is helpful to the receiver and brings joy to the giver. Here it is in several versions.

Everyone enjoys giving good advice, and how wonderful it is to be able to say the right thing at the right time! (TLB)

…there is nothing better than the right word at the right time. (ERV)

… how sweet is the right word at the right time! (VOICE)

To give an appropriate answer is a joy; how good is a word at the right time! (CEB)

There is another verse in Proverbs that can also be of help. Chapter twenty-five verse twenty in The Passion Translation says: When you sing a song of joy to someone suffering in the deepest grief and heartache, it can be compared to disrobing in the middle of a blizzard or rubbing salt in a wound.

I know a lot of bereaved parents who would say that sounds about right. Someone trying to cheer us up because they think we have been sad for too long and should be pulling out of it by now is extremely hurtful.

By now I am sure you have noticed that the verses I have shared are for these shattered parents in an indirect way. They are verses for those who have lost a child because they guide you in how to respond in a loving, caring, kind and needed way.

On a practical note, a few more things that will be helpful for you to know are:

Most experts say that anything under five years is considered fresh grief for a parent who has lost a child.
They also acknowledge that it is traumatic grief. These parents have been through a trauma, and many of them also deal with PTSD (including ones who were not there when their child died).
For many bereaved parents, the second year can be even harder in some ways than the first year.

I know our heart is to help those who are hurting, as it should be. Parents who have lost a child from this earth are hurting more deeply than most, and a big part of that painful loss will be with us for the rest of our time here on earth. I don’t expect you to be able to fully understand this about grieving parents, and all of us who are in this “unwanted life-time access club” truly hope and pray that you NEVER EVER find out! Most pareavors (parents who have been bereaved of their child) will say they would not wish this kind of pain even on their worst enemy.

Thank you for your loving concern for parents who are grieving the death of their child. I hope you will continually hold these shattered parents up to the throne room and be thankful for the work God is doing in their hearts to draw them back to Himself, in a way that may not make sense to you because you have not been in this place. It makes sense to those of us who have been there, though.

Many of us are familiar with the acronym of H.O.P.E. that says, “Hold On Pain Ends”. That saying just is not true for a bereaved parent, until we are reunited with our child on the other side of eternity. I will end this by sharing with you what I tell pareavors at the end of every single podcast. “Hold On Pain EASES. There is HOPE”!

We would like to send you two free chapters from the book Come Grieve Through Our Eyes: How to Give Comfort and Support to Bereaved Parents by Taking a Glimpse Into Our Hidden World. I promise you won’t be hounded to purchase the book!

There are two different options. One is if you are NOT a bereaved parent, you will also get occasional emails sharing how bereaved parents are being helped through GPS Hope. The other is for those who have lost a child, which will add you to our Weekly Word of Hope emails. You can unsubscribe from either list at any time. Click the option below that applies to you, to sign up for your free chapters.

I am a bereaved parent

I am NOT a bereaved parent

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.
If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on our private Facebook page or our public Facebook page.
If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

February 6, 2022 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

Will Knowing “Why” Really Help?

With all the whys, the anger, the suffocating darkness and confusion after the death of our child, it can be easy to blame God for what has happened. We question how God can call Himself a loving Father or possibly tell us that He is a good God. We don’t understand, and it is normal and okay to bring our questions and emotions to God, no matter how dark they are.

Every step on our life journey is a step of trust. We either trust in others, in ourselves, or in God. Trusting completely in others, or only in ourselves, will eventually fail. But when something horrible happens in our lives (such as the death of our child) we often tell ourselves we can’t trust God unless we know the “why.”

We want answers and we want them now. We want (or feel like we need) God to explain Himself to us, telling us why our children left this earth before we did.

I think the bottom line is that we try to make sense of God with our finite brains and limitations, but that is just plain impossible. We want God to answer to us, which is just as futile as a teenage daughter arguing with her parents, wanting them to answer to her. How can they? How can they explain that they see what their teenager cannot see, and know what their daughter does not know, in a way that makes that teen satisfied with the answer? And how can God possibly explain to us through His lens of eternity the answer to our “why?” in a way that makes some sort of sense, causing us to be okay with what has happened?

My husband, Dave, got a four-year degree in Computer Science. (It was so long ago that he even had to do a computer punch card program for one of his classes. Yikes!). His entire thirty year career was with programming computers, fixing computer programs and crashes, or internationally managing others who were doing it.

There are times I ask Dave (who is my personal geek squad) to do something for me, and he has to tell me it can’t be done. I always want him to explain why, because it seems like he should be able to find a way, since he is a computer programmer by profession. He often sighs, knowing that at some point I will get totally lost and not understand what he is trying to explain to me. (Interpretation: I get really frustrated, because it still doesn’t make any sense to me…)

I am pretty sure the same thing would happen if I were to ask a nuclear scientist a question on how something worked, because it is beyond what my mind would be able to follow or comprehend. God is greater than any computer techy or nuclear scientist, so what makes me think I would be able to follow or comprehend God’s explanation to something I don’t understand?

We often try to bring God down to our level because we want to understand His actions, or why He does what He does. That is like the Israelites. They knew the acts of God, which left them always grumbling and complaining, but Moses knew His ways (Psalm 103:7).

There is a big difference between seeing the actions of God and knowing His ways, which is knowing His heart. When we go beyond the acts of God and press in to knowing His heart, we eventually discover that we can still trust that He is good and He is faithful, even in the deepest and darkest pain we can face on this earth.

I do still occasionally find myself caught in the struggle of wanting to know why. When I find that happening, I sometimes ask God what it is about Him that I don’t understand yet, because when I try to lean on my own understanding, I can get all messed up. Instead, I need to see things from His perspective. What if I don’t get an answer to that right away? Then I have decided to continue to believe that He sees what I cannot see, and knows what I do not know, and I will continue to share my heart with Him, trusting that someday, it will all make sense.

Understanding will not bring us peace. That is why we are told to trust in God and not in our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). For some reason we often think if we can figure things out, then we can be in control. But the relief felt doesn’t last very long because soon there is something else we are trying to make sense of, that is out of our control.

During deep grief, people either move toward God or away from Him. But when we move away from Him, we are moving away from the One who can help us the most. God wants to walk with us through this valley of death. He wants to give us comfort. He wants to give us strength. He wants to give us hope. These are all things we desperately need. But if we choose to move away from Him, we will continue to desperately need these things. This is a time to get as close to God as you possibly can.

A few weeks ago, I saw someone’s Facebook post that spoke volumes to me about not understanding why. “You do not realize what I am doing, but later you will understand.” This was Jesus speaking, in John 13:7. It struck me so deeply that I had to get out a Bible and read these words for myself!

This world we are in is not permanent, but it is here to prepare us for the place that is. That means everything that happens here is with eternity in mind, but our view of it all is with very limited sight, which can be confusing until the veil is lifted and we are on the other side with our child.

I believe with everything in me that our children (and other loved ones), who are now on the other side of the veil, can also see everything clearly, and understand what we do not. I picture them cheering us on, knowing that when we join them, not only will we understand, but the pain will be completely behind us as the glory of eternity explodes all around us.

Until then, you have a choice. You can choose to continue blaming God (or others) for what has happened, remaining a victim of this horrible trauma for many more years – maybe even the rest of your time here on earth; or you can make a decision to be okay with not understanding why, allowing God to show you the way out of the darkness to be able to live in a way that honors the life of your child.

Our thoughts can be very dark after the death of our child. How we allow ourselves to think, can make the difference between staying in our place of darkness or moving toward a place of hope in our suffocating grief.

If you would like some help in dealing with these dark thoughts, I would like to send you a chapter from my award-winning book When Tragedy Strike: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing after the Death of Your Child. I promise this is not a way to hound you to purchase the book! However, you will start receiving a Weekly Word of Hope from me, which you can unsubscribe from at any time you no longer find it helpful.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.
If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on our private Facebook page or our public Facebook page.
If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

May 2, 2021 by Laura Diehl Leave a Comment

Hope is More Than Just Wishful Thinking

When someone says they hope something will happen, it is usually a wishful thinking kind of thing. “I hope it won’t rain this weekend.” “I hope they figured out what is wrong with my car.” “I hope my puppy doesn’t get much bigger.”

The world’s definition of hope is so much different than what God means when He uses the word hope. Have you ever thought about how crazy it would be that when God talks about hope in the Bible, He is talking about wishful thinking? Let’s read some Scriptures that way.

Psalm 33:22 Let your unfailing love surrounds us, Lord, for our wishful thinking is in you alone. (NLT)
Psalm 94:14 When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed wishful thoughts and cheer. (NLT)
Jeremiah 17:17 You alone are my wishful thoughts in the day of disaster. (NLT)
Romans 5:5 Now wishful thinking does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (NKJV)
1 Thessalonians 4:13 …We don’t want you to grieve like other people who have no wishful thoughts. (GW)
Hebrews 6:19 This wishful thinking is a safe anchor for our souls. (NLV)

That is almost laughable, right? And yet, that is quite often how we interpret God’s hope, without even realizing it. When God talks about hope, He is talking about a confident expectation. It is the seed we plant that grows into faith and trust.

A great example is a little girl who hopes she will get married someday. That is the wishful thinking kind of hope. But one day a young man comes into her life, they fall deeply in love, and he gets down on one knee with a question and a ring. Her getting married is no longer wishful thinking. It is something she actually starts planning for with anticipation, knowing it is coming. There is a confident expectation that she is going to get married.

God’s hope is so much more than wishful thinking! It is something we can count on, knowing He is at work and hasn’t abandoned us in our greatest time of need.

Let’s look at the verses above, putting in God’s definition of hope; a confident expectation in God’s power, His love, and His ability and desire to bring us out of the darkness and back into light, giving us a life of meaning and purpose again.

Psalm 33:22 Let your unfailing love surrounds us, Lord, for our hope (confident expectation) is in you alone. (NLT)
Psalm 94:14 When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me a renewed hope (confident expectation) and cheer. (NLT)
Jeremiah 17:17 You alone are my hope (confident expectation) in the day of disaster. (NLT)
Romans 5:5 Now hope (confident expectation) does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (NKJV)
1 Thessalonians 4:13 …We don’t want you to grieve like other people who have no hope (confident expectation). (GW)
Hebrews 6:19 This hope (confident expectation) is a safe anchor for our souls. (NLV)

Wishful thinking won’t get you out of your black hole of grief, but true hope will; the anticipation and confident expectation that God will pull you out of the suffocating darkness and put you on a path of life that leads you to fullness and satisfaction in walking out the destiny and purpose He still has for you.

Death and life… In God’s kingdom, life always comes from death, including the death of our own soul after our child died. The two can truly merge together.

Are you in God’s kingdom? Then you are in a place where there is full resurrection power. You can learn to live again. Allow God to plant His seed of hope right in the middle of your pain, and ask Him what you can do to nourish it, as you watch it grow into life.

No matter how broken you are today, tomorrow promises new hope. I am not talking about new wishes, but a new confidence in who God is and how He is at work in your pain.

Do you have a difficult time finding things that bring you comfort? We have put together a list of thirty ways on how to bring yourself comfort and take care of yourself after the death of your child. We know God is the ultimate comforter, but it can help when we know how to give Him something to work with and to flow through.

Let us know below if you would GPS Hope to send you this list. You will also begin to receive a Weekly Word of Hope, that is easy to unsubscribe from if you no longer want to receive it.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.
If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on our private Facebook page or our public Facebook page.
If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.