Healing after pregnancy loss is a journey that can feel both lonely and sacred. Too often, this kind of loss isn’t acknowledged for the deep heartbreak it truly is. But whether the pregnancy loss was early or late, whether you held your baby or not, your love was real, and so is your grief. Today, I want to share a story that beautifully captures both the pain and the redemption that can come through healing after pregnancy loss, especially when faith becomes the anchor that carries you through.
Recently, I had the privilege of talking with Shelley Hitz, a wife, author, and follower of Christ who knows this pain personally. After years of trying to conceive, Shelley finally became pregnant, only to lose her baby through miscarriage. She and her husband, CJ, were never able to conceive again. Yet what followed was a tender story of surrender, healing and faith after pregnancy loss, and how God birthed something new through her heartbreak.
The Unexpected Path
Shelley shared how she and CJ spent years in ministry, serving as missionaries and then stepping out in faith to travel full-time in an RV. They dreamed of raising a family, but after several years, pregnancy didn’t come. But it finally did, only to end in devastating loss.
At that point, Shelley was older and realized this might be her last chance to have a child. The grief hit hard. “It was the most difficult loss I’ve ever faced,” she told me, even after walking through other painful losses in her life.
Pregnancy loss is often a lonely grief, one that others don’t always understand. Shelley described how it took her about a year to begin to truly process the pain and to take practical and spiritual steps toward healing. “I would walk remote trails and scream and cry out to God,” she said. “I had to face the pain honestly before I could move forward.”
Surrender and the Gift of Purpose
Eventually, Shelley came to a place of surrender, where she could tell God, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” It was then that new life began to grow in a different way. A few months after her pregnancy loss, God led her to start Christian Book Academy, a ministry that helps others “birth books into the world.”
“God told me,” Shelley shared, “You may not have birthed a baby, but you’ve birthed many books, and helped others do the same.” What a beautiful picture of Christian healing after pregnancy loss, when God redeems the broken pieces and brings new purpose from them.
Today, Shelley and CJ have helped thousands of authors write and publish their stories through Christian Book Academy, while continuing to see their own ministry flourish.
A Couple’s Journey Toward Healing
Healing after pregnancy loss isn’t only a mother’s journey. Shelley shared that while she began to heal after that first year, CJ hadn’t yet processed his own grief. A counselor encouraged them to hold a ceremony together. They wrote a letter, prayed, named their baby Caden James, and released a balloon in his memory.
That simple act became a sacred moment of shared healing and closure. “It helped CJ grieve,” she said. “It gave us something tangible to honor our child’s life.”
Shelley reminds us that even though closure isn’t complete, the deep wound can eventually become a healed scar. “It’s not a scab that gets easily reopened anymore,” she said. “It’s a healed scar—a reminder of love and of how God met us in the pain.”
The Grace of Acceptance
Over the years, Shelley has found peace in trusting that God’s plans, though different from her dreams, are still good. “Because we didn’t have children, we’ve had the gift of time,” she said. “God has used that time in ministry and in ways we couldn’t have imagined.”
That’s the heart of healing after pregnancy loss. It is not forgetting, but allowing God to redeem. It’s a sacred acceptance that says, This isn’t what I wanted, but I trust You anyway.
Shelley admits that some days are still tender, especially around December when she remembers the loss of her baby. But rather than spiraling in grief, she feels peace knowing her child is with the Lord. “We may not have our baby here,” she shared, “but we have spiritual children all over the world through the ministry God gave us.”
Finding Hope in the Journey
Mother’s Day, baby showers, and casual questions like “How many kids do you have?” can still sting for parents who’ve experienced pregnancy loss. Shelley gently reminds us that every story is different, and there’s no single path through grief.
“You never completely get over it,” she said. “But you do get through it.”
Her encouragement to others walking this road is simple but profound: don’t rush your grief. “God is gentle,” she said. “He leads us through it in phases. It took me a year to heal, but it may take longer for others. Just take one step at a time. Allow God to walk with you in the real and the raw.”
That’s what true healing and faith after pregnancy loss look like; being honest with God, processing your emotions, and trusting that He can bring purpose from pain.
You Are Not Forgotten
As we wrapped up our conversation, Shelley prayed a powerful prayer over parents who have lost a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth. She reminded us that God sees every tear, holds every question, and has the “box top” to see the full picture of our life, when we only see the scattered puzzle pieces.
If you’ve experienced this kind of loss, know this: your baby’s life mattered. Your grief matters. And healing after pregnancy loss is possible, even if right now all you can see is the pain.
Like Shelley, you may find one day that your tears have turned into something redemptive and that God has gently shaped your story into one of faith, hope, and healing.
So Hold On. Pain Eases. There is HOPE.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 319. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
Find out more about the full program of Christian Book Academy here.
AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.
In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.
For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.
The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.
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