If you are here after reading Part One, you already know how deeply grief can shake your faith and why trusting God feels so hard after the death of your child. As we continue, we are going to look at something just as important, which is how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss, even when your world feels like it has completely fallen apart.
This is not about trying to make the pain meaningful or calling it good. There is nothing good about losing your child. But Scripture gently shows us that even in suffering, God is still at work.
We return again to 1 Peter 5:10–11, which reminds us that after we have suffered a while, God Himself will perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle us. These are not just words to read and move past. They are promises we can slowly begin to lean into, even when everything in us feels weak.
Perfected: Brought to a Place of Maturity
When the verse says God will perfect us, it means He is bringing us to a place of maturity and fullness. Not perfection in the way we often think of it, but a deep, steady work within us that leads to something lasting.
This can feel hard to accept, especially when the cost has been so great. But just as Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered, there is something that happens within us when we walk through suffering with Him.
We don’t rejoice in the pain itself. But we can begin to recognize that God is doing something in us through it.
This is one way we start to understand how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss. Even when life feels broken, He is still bringing something to completion within you.
Established: Becoming Unshakable in Him
After the death of your child, everything can feel unstable. What once felt secure may now feel uncertain. Your thoughts may feel scattered, and your emotions may shift from moment to moment.
But God’s desire is to establish you, making you unshakable, not in your circumstances, but in Him.
He is establishing your life in His truth, in His love, and in His purpose for you. Read that again, slowly, taking time to think about each one.
Over time, even in the middle of grief, something begins to take root more deeply. This does not mean the pain goes away. It means your foundation is becoming stronger than the storm.
And slowly, you begin to see how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss by anchoring you in something that cannot be taken from you.
Strengthened: Not by Your Effort, But by His Joy
We often think that strength is something we have to find within ourselves. But Scripture tells us something different.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
This is not about how joyful you feel. It is about His joy over you! It is the Lord’s joy that can be our strength.
Even now, in your grief, God delights in you. He sees you. He is near to you. He is not disappointed in your struggle or your questions. And as you begin to let that truth settle into your heart, something shifts. Strength begins to rise, not because you are trying harder, but because you realize how deeply you are being held.
This is a powerful part of how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss. Your strength comes from Him carrying you, not from your ability to carry this on your own.
Strength That Reaches Beyond You
There is also something else happening as God strengthens you. In time, and often very slowly, that strength begins to overflow into the lives of others.
You may not feel ready for that right now, and that is okay. But there may come a moment when you are able to sit with another grieving parent and simply understand. Not fix. Not explain. Just be there.
And that kind of presence carries a depth that only comes through lived experience.
This, too, is part of how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss, by allowing your story to bring comfort and hope to someone else walking a similar path.
Settled: Living on a Firm Foundation
To be settled means to be placed on a firm foundation.
After losing your child, it can feel like everything has collapsed beneath you. The life you knew is gone, and you are left trying to figure out how to move forward.
But God is still building.
He is gently setting your life on a foundation that is rooted in Him. A place where, even though the winds and waves continue, you are not completely undone.
Part of this settling is learning to live with unanswered questions. We may never fully understand why this happened. And even if we did, it would not remove the ache.
Peace does not come from knowing why. It comes from knowing Him.
And as you begin to rest in who He is, you will slowly see how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss by giving you a steadiness that you didn’t think was possible.
Learning to Live with What Is Missing
My daughter, Becca, had her left leg amputated when she was only three years old, because of bone cancer. (You can read her story here.) We had a front row seat to what it was like to live with a part of you missing – part of you cut off.
Losing a child is like an amputation. It is losing a part of yourself.
It is as if something has been cut away, and you are left learning how to live with that absence. There will always be reminders. There will always be moments when the grief feels fresh and overwhelming.
But it is possible to learn how to live a meaningful life, even with that part missing. Not because you have moved on, but because God is helping you move forward.
This is another way we see how God can strengthen you through the pain of child loss, by giving you the ability to keep going, even when you never thought you could.
A Gentle Invitation to Rest
As we come back to this passage in 1 Peter, we see that everything is held within God’s grace and His glory.
His grace is His divine empowerment in your life. His glory is the fullness of His goodness. And both are still present for you.
Even in this.
Even now.
So instead of trying to understand everything, perhaps the invitation today is simply to rest. To stop striving for answers. To stop feeling like you have to hold everything together and to allow yourself to be held by Him.
A Quiet Step Forward
You do not have to do this perfectly. You do not have to feel strong in order to be strengthened. You do not have to understand what God is doing to trust that He is still working. Because even now, even in the ongoing pain of missing your child, God is faithfully doing what He promised.
He is perfecting you.
He is establishing you.
He is strengthening you.
He is settling you.
And as you take each step forward, no matter how small, you are being carried by a love that has not let go of you.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 346. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
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AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.
In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.
For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.
The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.
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