After the death of our child, many of us as pareavors feel like we have been thrown into the middle of a violent storm. The waves of grief crash over us without warning. Fear, confusion, exhaustion, and unanswered questions can leave us feeling overwhelmed and unsure if we will ever feel steady again.
In those moments, it can also become difficult to know where Jesus is.
Sometimes we may quietly wonder why God allowed this storm into our lives in the first place. We were following Him. Trusting Him. Trying to live for Him. Yet somehow, we still found ourselves in the darkest place imaginable.
Recently, my attention was called to the story of Jesus walking on water, which spoke so deeply to me when it comes to finding Jesus in the storm after child loss.
The Disciples Were Exactly Where Jesus Sent Them
One detail in this story is often overlooked. The disciples were in the storm because Jesus told them to get into the boat.
They were not out of God’s will.
They were not being punished.
They were not abandoned.
They were exactly where Jesus had sent them.
As grieving parents, this can be difficult to reconcile. Somewhere along the way, many of us picked up the idea that if we walk closely with God, our lives should somehow become safer from tragedy. Then our child dies, and suddenly everything we thought we understood about faith can feel shattered.
But the storm was not proof Jesus had left the disciples.
And the storm in your life is not proof He has left you either.
When we begin finding Jesus in the storm after child loss, we slowly realize that His presence is not determined by how calm life feels around us.
Jesus Walked on What Terrified Them
The disciples were experienced fishermen, yet Scripture says they were terrified. The wind was violent. The waves battered the boat. And then, in the middle of the darkness, Jesus came walking toward them on the water.
Think about that for a moment.
The very thing threatening the disciples was beneath His feet. The storm that felt overwhelming to them was completely under His authority.
Jesus did not wait for the storm to end before coming near. He walked right across the waves. He didn’t walk across calm waters. It was those same stormy waves that were under His feet.
As pareavors, we often desperately want God to remove the storm. We want the pain to stop. We want answers. We want relief from the crushing ache of missing our child.
But finding Jesus in the storm after child loss often happens when we discover He is willing to come directly into our pain instead of standing at a distance from it.
He is not intimidated by your grief.
He is not afraid of your questions.
He is not overwhelmed by your sorrow.
Fear Can Distort What We See
The disciples were so afraid, they thought Jesus was a ghost. Fear distorted their ability to recognize His presence.
Grief can do the same thing to us.
After child loss, many parents struggle spiritually in ways they never expected. Some pareavors feel numb when they pray. Others find it difficult to read Scripture. Some wonder why God feels silent when they need Him most.
That does not mean your faith is gone. It means you are grieving.
One of the most comforting parts of this story is that Jesus spoke immediately:
“Take courage. It is I. Do not be afraid.”
In the original language, His words echo the name of God Himself:
“I AM.”
The One walking toward them was not simply a teacher offering encouragement. It was God Himself standing above the chaos.
And that same Jesus still walks toward grieving parents today.
Peter Asked for a Word
Peter’s response has always fascinated me.
He said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You.”
Peter did not ask for power.
He asked for a word.
Real faith is not confidence in ourselves.
It is confidence in Jesus.
Sometimes after child loss, we think faith means being spiritually strong all the time. We may feel guilty when our emotions are messy or when we struggle with fear and doubt.
But finding Jesus in the storm after child loss is not about pretending we are strong. It is about continuing to turn toward Him, even when our hearts are broken.
Trust does not mean we never struggle.
Trust means we believe Jesus is still holding us in the middle of the struggle.
Jesus Grabbed Peter Immediately
Peter walked on water for a moment. But when he focused more on the wind than on Jesus, fear overwhelmed him and he began to sink.
And honestly, what grieving parent cannot relate to that?
There are moments when we feel like we are drowning under the weight of loss. The future feels frightening. The loneliness feels unbearable. The pain feels too heavy to carry another day.
But what happened next is the heart of the Gospel.
Peter cried out, and immediately Jesus grabbed him.
Immediately.
Jesus did not wait for Peter to become emotionally stronger. He did not lecture him first.
He did not stand back and watch him sink.
He rescued him.
That is grace.
As pareavors, we often feel ashamed of our weakness. But finding Jesus in the storm after child loss means understanding that our hope is not built on the strength of our grip on Him.
It is built on the strength of His grip on us.
Peace Came When Jesus Entered the Boat
Scripture says the storm stopped when Jesus entered the boat.
Not when the disciples became fearless.
Not when Peter tried harder.
Not when they finally “got it right.”
The storm stopped when Jesus stepped into the boat.
That truth matters deeply for grieving parents.
We can spend so much energy trying to figure out how to survive this journey. We search for ways to steady ourselves emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. But ultimately, peace is not found in mastering the storm.
Peace is found in the presence of Christ.
Finding Jesus in the storm after child loss does not mean the pain suddenly disappears. It does not mean we stop missing our child. It does not mean every question gets answered.
But it does mean we are no longer alone in the boat.
Jesus Still Comes Near
Storms still come.
Fear still rises.
Weakness still happens.
But Jesus still walks toward His people in the middle of all of it.
And maybe you need to remember today that the storm around you does not mean that Jesus is absent. The waves may feel strong. The wind may feel relentless. But the One who stands above the storm is already coming near.
If you are barely hanging on right now, picture Jesus walking across those waves toward you; not angry, not disappointed, not demanding perfection from you. He comes with compassion, grace, and steady hands that will not let you go.
As grieving parents, we are not held together by perfect faith. We are held together by a perfect Savior.
And even when your grip feels weak, His grip on you never is.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 349. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
If you are grieving the loss of a child, Reflections of Hope — June Edition and Full Year Edition offer daily encouragement, Scripture, and hope to walk with you one day at a time.
Click here for information on the GPS Hope & Healing Cruise.
Click here to find out more about the word pareavor.
To support this podcast and, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content, visit us on Patreon.
If you’re walking this road after the loss of your child and would like something to come alongside you, I’ve created a gentle resource from my own journey that you are welcome to download below.
AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.
In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.
For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.
The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.
Leave a Reply