If you are reading this, it may be because somewhere deep inside your pain, there’s still a tiny flicker of hope. It may feel fragile, almost hidden, but it’s there. And I want to encourage you that it can grow into something steady and life-giving — a first step toward rebuilding your life after child loss.
When Grief Affects the Mind
One of the hardest parts of grief after losing a child is what it does to our minds. The fog, the forgetfulness, the inability to concentrate; it can feel overwhelming and even frightening. One day I drove home from the grocery store without my groceries! I remember one time pulling over in the car because I could not remember why I was driving or where I was going, and checking to see if there was something on my phone calendar to tell me. (Thankfully, there was.)
For a long time, I wondered if something was seriously wrong with me. Was I developing early Alzheimer’s? But I eventually learned this is a normal part of deep grief. Studies have shown that grief literally affects the brain. The mental and emotional energy it takes just to survive each day leaves us disoriented and forgetful.
If this is you right now, please hear me: you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone. This is part of the grieving process. And even though those first couple of years can feel brutal, it does get better. The breakdowns become less frequent, and the fog doesn’t last as long.
Of course, it doesn’t help when others don’t understand. People say things like, “I know how you feel,” or ask, “How are you?”, expecting a quick “fine,” while inside you are torn apart. Family events can be overwhelming, and triggers can come from the smallest things. But you’re not failing. You are grieving.
The Difference Between Grief and Self-Pity
Here’s something important I had to learn: there is a difference between grief and self-pity. Grief is an appropriate response to the unthinkable loss of a child. But there comes a point where we can choose not to stay stuck in despair — and begin rebuilding your life after child loss with hope.
So how do we begin to move forward?
Stay connected to others who get it. Surround yourself with pareavors who are further down the road and can walk with you toward hope.
Let your mind be renewed. What you focus on will grow. If you keep focusing only on the pain, it will consume you. But choosing, even little by little, to focus on truth can help shift your perspective.
Choosing a Path Toward Healing and Hope
One of the truths that set me free was realizing I wasn’t moving further away from my daughter, Becca, as the years went by. Each day I live on this earth actually brings me closer to the day I will see her again. I am not getting further away from her; I am getting closer and closer to her. That perspective helped to shift me out of my self-pity, and still does.
The journey of rebuilding your life after child loss isn’t about “getting over it” or erasing your child’s memory. It’s about finding a way to live again, not in spite of your child’s death, but because of his or her life, and the depth of love you will always carry for them.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 313. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
✨ Limited-Time Special Pricing & Bonuses
Right now, for a short time, we’re offering special discounted pricing on each workshop—plus bonus gifts to bless you even more:
Workshop One: How Do I Even Start to Rebuild My Life?
Discounted price + a free sponsored podcast episode in honor of your child.- Workshop Two: Working Through the Darkness
Discounted price + your choice of one monthly edition of Reflections of Hope: Daily Readings for Bereaved Parents. Choose a month that you know will be especially difficult. - Workshop Three: Looking Toward My Future
Discounted price + a copy of my brand-new book (coming soon), The Bible’s Grieving Parents: Finding Comfort, Hope and Faith from Their Stories. - Or choose the complete bundle of all three workshops
and receive ALL the bonuses—plus a free signed copy of When Tragedy Strikes mailed to you, and access to a monthly Zoom gathering with me and other pareavors for ongoing connection and encouragement.
These special prices and bonuses are only available through September 26th—a date especially meaningful to our family, as it is Becca’s daughter’s birthday.
👉 Learn more and sign up here: gpshope.org/wtscourse
AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.
In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.
For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.
The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.
To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.
I recently had the blessing of talking with a pareavor on the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast, who is a strong encourager of prayer, even after the death of her daughter. I know praying can be extremely difficult for many of us now, wondering why we should bother praying, if God is just going to do what He wants to do anyway.
Rachel shared how those final days were filled with both deep anger and incredible intimacy with God. In her grief, she cried out, “God, you don’t know what it’s like to watch your child suffer and die.” Immediately, she felt His gentle reply: “Yes, I do. I watched my Son suffer and die for you.” That moment transformed John 3:16 from a familiar verse into a life-altering reality. God’s love was not distant. He was holding Taylor in heaven and Rachel on earth at the same time.
For most of us, it takes a while to realize that it is not the pain that keeps us attached to our children, but it is our love for them. This love not only remains, but for many of us, it continues to grow stronger and sharing that love with others becomes part of the healing journey.
Rachel’s encouragement is simple but life-giving: even if you don’t feel God, He is with you. Pain cannot grip you tighter than His grace. And joy and sorrow can co-exist in our lives when we let His Spirit breathe peace into our pain.
After experiencing profound loss through miscarriage and saying goodbye to her beloved daughter, who blessed their family for 22 years, Rachel “Wojo” Wojnarowski embraced prayer as her lifeline in life’s darkest valleys. Her transformative “Three-Word Prayers” approach has become a sanctuary for countless believers when words seem impossible.
Two years later, on the anniversary of her son’s death, Carol went outside again. This time, she didn’t see any shooting stars. Instead, she felt an overwhelming joy as she thought about where her son is now; in the presence of Jesus, the One he had loved since childhood.
Like so many of us, Carol wrestled with despair. She prayed, 
It’s important to understand that God did not take Free away in order to get Carol closer to Him. God does not cause death. Satan does. But what God does is take even the most devastating situations and bring beauty out of the ashes.
I know some of you may not be at the place Carol is yet, and that’s okay. Her story is not meant for comparison—it’s meant to be a picture of hope. Carol has chosen to keep looking up, and in doing so, she has become a grieving parent sharing hope. You can be one too, in your own time and your own way.
