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The Lord is My Shepherd

 

Adonai—Lord and Shepherd

Most of us are familiar with how Psalm 23 starts out. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” The Complete Jewish Bible states it like this. “The Lord Adonai is my shepherd; I have everything I need. ”

Let’s take some time to break down the very beginning of this, by first asking ourselves, what exactly does the Hebrew word Adonai mean that is translated as Lord? It is a master or owner, someone who is sovereign or a supreme ruler, a person with ultimate power or authority.

When our child dies, it is easy to see God as a mean ruler with ultimate power who just does whatever He wants. But Adonai, this Lord and Master, is also our Shepherd, who looks after and takes care of his sheep.  These two things (Lord and Shepherd) may seem to contradict each other.

When Control and Trust Collide

When we became a Christian, it means we should be choosing to allow God to be in the driver’s seat of our life. However, we may have discovered that what we really did was ask God to be in the passenger seat, while we are still the one driving. We allowed Him to get in the cockpit with us, as the copilot, but we still want to keep control by being the pilot. And that is where the contradiction happens.

Following Jesus is not about certainty; it is about trust. It is truly allowing Him to be Lord in our lives without conditions. And trusting God doesn’t always mean understanding Him.

When we don’t understand the whys, we somehow think God owes us an explanation. If you have ever watched the old black and white I Love Lucy shows, it reminds me of when Desie would say in his Spanish accent, “Lucy, you got some ‘splainen’ to do!”

Going Deeper Than the Why

I recently heard an illustration I want to pass on to you. It is the difference between choosing to stay on the surface with feeling like you have to know why, or going deeper with Him in a way that goes beyond the whys.

When you snorkel, you stay on the surface with your little plastic tube. You can’t go deep. If you want to go deep, you have to get a tank.

Staying on the surface is continuing to feel like God owes you an explanation. It is continuing to ask “Why would God do this to me? To us?” This is like snorkeling. We cannot understand the depths of God while staying on the surface. Going deep means you choose to trust God in the horrible circumstance, choosing to believe no matter what your heart or mind tell you, that He IS love, He IS comfort, He IS peace. It is like strapping on that tank, so you can breathe under the water.

When you choose to go deep, you come out the other side knowing God in a way you never did before. You know how wonderful and faithful He really is, and that being both Lord and Shepherd are not a contradiction.

The Roundabout of Grief

Many of us are stuck in a roundabout. We are going round and round and round, fighting with God about things like:

  • how unfair the death of our child is
  • how God isn’t really good (or He would not have allowed my child to die)
  • how I will never be able to be happy again

We will stay stuck, going around in circles like this until we choose to take a turn, and that turn is toward God. This is a turn of surrender. Once we allow God to be the pilot (to be the one driving our lives) and we surrender to being the passenger, receiving His love and care as the Good Shepherd He truly is, we will find ourselves in a much better place, as hope, light, meaning and purpose return to our lives.

It is when we come to Him, humbled and fully surrendered, that we can even begin to hear Him speak to us in a way that we can receive as both our Lord and our Good Shepherd.

The Healing Begins with Surrender

We are all broken. Deeply broken. In fact, I remember feeling so very shattered that I didn’t even think it was possible to find all the pieces, much less have God put them all back together. But as I continued this journey, I began to see and understand that brokenness can be a gift. When we know and admit how broken we are to God, from a place of being vulnerable and no longer fighting Him, we can experience an incredible depth of His love in a way that we did not even know was possible here on this earth. And I am in awe of it.

If you aren’t there yet, that’s okay. It took me quite a while, too. Just know that it is possible, yes, even for you. He really is both Lord, and a Good Shepherd, ready and waiting to love and help bring healing to His deeply wounded sheep. If you have experienced going deep, discovering He is both Lord and a Good Shepherd, please leave a comment, so that others who have not gotten to this place yet can be even more encouraged.

NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 287. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.

If you would like to join thousands of other bereaved parents receiving a weekly word of hope delivered to your inbox, let us know below.

 

AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.

In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.

For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.

To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.

 

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297: The Lord is My Shepherd

When we make Jesus Lord of our lives, too often we don’t fully understand what that means. We sometimes take it to mean that God will not let anything really bad happen to us. Then when our child dies, it can be hard to trust Him or to see Jesus as the “good” shepherd. 

In today’s episode, Laura looks at the familiar scripture of Psalm 23:1 in a way that brings greater understanding to these seemingly contradictory things. 

 

Links Mentioned in this episode:

Find out more about the cruise or retreat here.

                    

Birthdays:

Jason Turner was born on May 20 and left us at age 36.

Jason LaFave was born on May 21 and left us at age 35.

Isaiah Santell was born on May 22 and left us at age 16.

 

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

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296: Getting Past the Trauma of Child Loss (with Jacke Rose)

Today’s guest has a very traumatic story. Before ending his own life, Jacke’s son, Randy, attempted to kill his wife, his two young children and his father-in-law.

It is a riveting story (within the horrible tragedy) that ends with hope and encouragement.

However, Laura fully understands there may be some triggers, as Jacke shares some of the details, so if you want to skip parts of it, you can do so, based on the information below on where the various parts of Jacke’s story are recorded.

Randy’s childhood: 3:00

Randy’s adult years: 6:46

The night it all happened: 12:20

Randy ends his life: 18:40

First visit to the hospital to see Randy’s family: 24:59

Heading back home with Randy’s family: 32:10

The current situation: 36:44

How Jacke’s life has been blessed: 39:27

The divorce: 41:55

Answering various questions with some nuggets of encouragement: 45:06

Jacke prays for the listeners: 57:32

 

Jacke Rose is no stranger to personal trials. In January of 2016, she faced an overwhelming obstacle, the death of her 30-year-old son, Randy, to suicide, a tragedy that left her, as well as his grieving wife and two young sons, devastated. Jacke is the author of the book, Resurfacing, a twelve-week hope-filled guide designed to share with other grieving moms and the Just Be Journal for grieving moms. Having blended her life challenges and passions, she has created a life she truly loves, using her talents to encourage others to find balance and purpose amid life’s darkest moments. Jacke currently lives in Bend, Oregon.

(Note: The views and opinions of our guests outside of this podcast may not be in agreement with GPS Hope.)

Links Mentioned in this episode:

Connect with Jacke on her website at grievingmoms.com

Go to the GPS Hope website here: gpshope.org

Birthdays:

Leah Van Emmerik was born on May 13 and left us at age 39.

Jordan Slusher was born on May 17 and left us at age 21.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

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The Struggles with Thanksgiving and Child Loss

All the holidays are a struggle, but Thanksgiving is unique in that the entire purpose is to be thankful and grateful for the ways God has blessed us. But, after the death of our child, many of us don’t feel blessed at all, much less feel thankful.

As a pareavor, I totally understand the thoughts of not having anything to be thankful for in those early months and years. The death of our child is front and center and being thankful for ANYTHING can feel impossible. When we are told we can at least be thankful that we are breathing… no, we can’t, because we don’t want to be breathing, right? I remember begging God to just take me. I wasn’t suicidal, I just didn’t want to be here anymore.

To be honest, I don’t even remember those first few years. For the Thanksgiving meal, I think we all went out to eat. We may have done that for the first two to three years, until my adult children worked up the courage to say how much they missed the traditional Thanksgiving meal and being together at the house, so I did eventually go back to that.

Since we now live in our motorhome and are on the road in the Hope Mobile, Thanksgiving is very different for us, which I am quite okay with. However, this year we are driving our car back home to Wisconsin, leaving the Hope Mobile (and our cat, Savanah) with friends in Texas and I will be cooking the meal at my oldest son’s house.

This can be a constant yearly struggle for all of us, not wanting to disappoint our other children and family members, and at the same time, knowing we don’t have it in us to celebrate Thanksgiving, whether it is physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually.

Last year, right after Thanksgiving, I received an email from my friend Jill. Her barely two-year-old son, Nathan, died suddenly and unexpectedly, over twenty years ago. Jill shared with me the struggle of still finding herself, after all those years, “having to continually give grace to those who don’t understand” because she was told on Thanksgiving at a gathering that as she matured, she should be able to celebrate again.

Let me add that her son’s birthday is in November. He died thirteen days after his birthday on November 24th and was buried on Thanksgiving Day. Talk about lots of triggers at a time of year when we are supposed to be “thankful”!

Jill goes on in the email to say what those around us don’t realize; grief has nothing to do with maturity.  There is more to this email as she shares how people think she must still be struggling because of posting pictures of Nathan on these dates, and her response to that. (If you would like to hear the entire email, you can go to podcast episode 185 here or find the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app).

It can be exhausting trying to explain to family and friends why we don’t want to (or can’t) celebrate holidays and special events like we have in the past, especially when they just don’t get it. Friends and family who mean well, can even insist that joining in the celebrations and festivities is just what we need. They tell us it is the best thing we can do to “get back to normal.”

That may be true with their personal experience of other losses, but we know this is not like any other loss. However, we would not know that ourselves if we were not experiencing it, so we cannot expect them to know or understand that.

Recently in a conversation with several moms, one of them commented how special it is to be able to make new memories with the one who is gone. That was such a beautiful thought, and one that I will leave you with. How can you still make new and meaningful memories during the holiday season with your child who is no longer here with you?

Yes, it will probably be painful, but like a good pain that is bringing healing. These are bittersweet days for all of us through the end of the year, and even more so if you are like Jill and there are birthdays and death dates in the middle of it.

But you can learn to learn how not to just fall into the despair of the bitter, but how to lean into the sweet. The struggle is real, but so is the Holy Spirit as He walks with you through each day, including the days we struggle to be thankful.

This was taken from a recent Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast. To hear all of what was shared (which includes something that might help to explain our grief, if not to others, at least to yourself) you can listen to it here on the GPS Hope website or listen on the GPS Hope YouTube channel. You can also find the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.

Are you dreading the Christmas holiday season and wishing there was something to help you get through it? Hope for the Future: An Advent Book for Bereaved Parents is a daily reading through the Christmas season, and you can also join me live each Sunday night, lighting a candle. Find out more here.

If you would like to join thousands of other bereaved parents receiving a weekly word of hope delivered to your inbox, let us know below.

 

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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295: What is Hope?

Most people think that hope is wishful thinking, as in, “I hope they win this game.” However, that kind of hope is not what will get us out of the suffocating darkness of grief after the death of our child.

In today’s episode, Laura revisits true hope – the hope that God gives. This is a hope we can rely on in the darkness as He brings us back into the light, to be able to live a life of meaning and purpose once again, until being reunited with our child.

Links Mentioned in this episode:

Click here to see/order the award winning Reflections of Hope: Daily Readings for Bereaved Parents (both the complete year hardback book and the monthly books).

Go to the GPS Hope free members libray here. 

 

Birthdays:

Adam Walker was born on May 6 and left us at age 28.

Michael Slater was born on May 8 and left us at age 26.

Sarah Wilber was born on May 10 and left us at age 34.

Isaac Wills was born on May 10 and left us at age 17.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

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