When my daughter, Becca, died, I thought I was getting early Alzheimer’s because of how forgetful I was, how scrambled my mind felt, and how quickly important information could leave my brain. I had no idea for the first couple of years that it was “normal” for a parent after the death of their child, and it was a relief to find that out.
What else is “normal” for a newly bereaved parent?
First, it is important to know that I consider “newly” bereaved, as anything from the very first day to the first two or three years. It’s also important to know that most experts will say that for a parent who has lost a child, anything under five years is considered fresh grief. Losing a child is also considered traumatic grief – it is a trauma, and PTSD can come with it, depending on the circumstances of their death.
Along with some of my own experiences, I have asked some of my friends who have been on this journey for a while to share a word with those of you who are new on this unwanted path. Last week we heard from four of them. This week we will hear from five more. They are:
- BJ Jensen – Love in Motion Signing Choir (www.signingchoir.com)
- Sara Nelson – Footsteps of Hope (www.hopefootsteps.com)
- Michele Paul – Umbrella Ministries (www.umbrellaministries.com)
- Melanie Delorme – After the Flowers Die (www.melaniedelorme.com
- Pam Vredevelt – Licensed Counselor and author (www.pamvredevelt.com)
As you listen, you will find out that pretty much whatever it is you are experiencing is normal after the death of your child, and it’s such a relief to hear it from others who have been right where you are.
(Note: The views and opinions of our guests outside of this podcast may not be in agreement with GPS Hope.)
Links Mentioned in this episode:
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See information to join us for the weekend retreat in Texas.
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Birthdays:
Jeanette Marie was born on January 19 and is forever 36.
Hugh Brown was born on January 19 and is forever 18.
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The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.
Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!
To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.
Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.
It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.
Marriage is always a work in progress. There is so much unknown on how we will each react during such a stressful time as the loss of a child. When we are struggling to find our own footing, how can we expect our spouses to find theirs? It is so easy during this time to just shut down and withdraw from each other.
At first, I was not really excited to receive these items. I came to realize that he wanted me to join him in something that he loved to do. If I ever came out of the bedroom dressed in my full get-up and said, “Are you ready to go climb a mountain?” my husband would think he had died and gone to Heaven.
someone than participating in something they enjoy? Who knows, we might find out something new about not only our spouses but also about ourselves. So, step out of your comfort zone and enter into the land of your spouse. Who knows what exciting adventure might be waiting for you?
and loves to not only infuse hope into grieving parents that they can live a full life again, but be an example of learning how to live a life of meaning and purpose that includes our child no longer here with us on earth. You do have full permission to live again, and it is not betraying your child to do so. 
to happen through the death of Lazarus than through a miraculous healing.
but He has something for you that goes beyond the death of your child. Just like Lazarus, Jesus knows something greater can happen through the death of your precious child, than through a miraculous healing or His hand of protection that we so desperately wanted for them. (And no, God didn’t kill your child to teach you a lesson! He just knows that the eternal fruit of their departure can outweigh the eternal fruit of them staying here.)
In our darkness, we are waiting a long time because God is doing a carved work. He will even let us believe He has betrayed us and be angry with Him as He is at work in our darkness. He continues though, knowing that someday we will understand. And that “someday” may not be until we are reunited with our children.
