Rejection hurts. God never created us as human beings to be rejected. It is exactly the opposite of everything God intended for us.
We are accepted with all of our flaws and loved unconditionally by the Creator of the entire universe, the King of all Kings! He created us to be accepted and loved, exactly the way we are.
And yet we all have to battle our way through rejection, time after time, starting in our childhood (and some of us were unwanted and rejected before we were even born, while in the womb of our mothers). Some may deal with feeling rejected by a parent, never being good enough to meet their expectations of us. Many of us still feel the sting of rejection being laughed at by other children when we were young. Or we still feel the effects of being rejected by cruel classmates in school. We can be rejected by bosses and co-workers. We can experience a very painful rejection by our own children whom we love and did our best to raise, or face the ugly monster of rejection through an agonizing divorce.
The list of ways we can be rejected is endless, and it seems to never end.
There are only two kingdoms in the spiritual world; God’s Kingdom of life and light, and Satan’s kingdom of death and darkness. If something does not come from God, there is only one other source. So if rejection doesn’t come from God, it comes from the enemy. And anything that comes from the enemy is evil.
We can see just how evil rejection is by looking at this partial list of what rejection does to us.
- Rejection causes us to be defensive
- Rejection causes us to not step out into our giftings
- Rejection causes us to feel unlovable and unworthy of receiving anything good
- Rejection causes us to make decisions we know we should not be making
- Rejection causes shame
- Rejection causes loneliness and isolation
- Rejection causes self-harm
- Rejection causes us to be critical, rude, and mean
- Rejection causes us to lie
- Rejection causes rebellion
- Rejection causes us to reject others out of wanting to avoid more rejection
- Rejection causes fear
- Rejection causes pride and the need to be right about everything
- Rejection causes us to live from a false identity, trying to gain approval
Living under the weight of rejection causes us to self-destruct. It affects every area of our lives; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Rejection attacks and destroys our self-esteem. It causes a person to be starved for the love and acceptance they were designed to receive. It attacks who we are and our purpose in life. It can destroy us in a way that few other things can.
If we want to live in the fullness God has for us, and be all that He has created us to be, we absolutely have to overcome rejection and its ugly effects in our lives. The problem is we usually continue to try to get the people around us to confirm our identity by loving and accepting us, but only God can be fully trusted as the source of our identity and to love and accept us in the way we need.
The root of rejection can be found as misplaced identity. What or who do you base your identity on? Is it what your parents thought of you growing up (and maybe still think of you)? Is it what your classmates said about you? Is it in the areas your boss or coworkers tell you that you are failing? Is it the flaws your partner points out to you? Is there someone’s approval you feel you need, to give your life meaning and purpose? That is a dangerous thing, and it sets you up for more rejection.
We were never meant to base the identity of who we are as a person on the things of this world. Any time we base our identity on what others think about us, as soon as they give a hint of disapproval, it is going to hurt us because we are trusting that person with our identity – with who we are in our very being as a person.
As I already said, only God can be trusted in that position, because He is the One who made us. He can and wants to let you know that you are a new creation in Jesus. You are not the person those around you said you were as a child. You are not the worthless person anyone around you today says that you are.
God’s Word is full of who we really are, and tells us over and over again how much God loves us and accepts us as His beloved.
He promises to never leave us or forsake us, so when our identity is based on what He says about us, we can be sure that we are not going to be faced with His rejection. He paid a very high price – far above gold or silver or any amount of money, to make sure we can be free from the effects of the kingdom of darkness and any rejection we received in our lives.
When we base our identity on what God says about us, we become immune from the devastating effects of rejection. We are secure in knowing who we are, so what others have to say about us no longer matters.
So what does God’s Word say about who we are in Christ? Here is just a start:
- I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ for good works (Ephesians 2:10)
- I am chosen and ordained by Christ to bear good fruit (John 15:16)
- I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
- I am chosen by God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
- I am a partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
- I am a recipient of spiritual blessings in Christ (Ephesians 1:3)
- I am a friend of Christ (John 15:15)
- I am entitled to a clean conscience before God because of the blood of Jesus applied to my life (Hebrews 10:22)
- I sit in heavenly places (a place of authority over the kingdom of darkness) with Christ (Ephesians 2:6)
- My sins are removed from me, and God does not remember my failures (Psalm 103:12; Hebrews 8:12)
- I am a child of God; He is my spiritual Father (Romans 8:14-15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6; John 1:12)
Settle the rejection issue in your life once and for all by being determined to kick out the lies of those who have rejected you, and receive the truth, getting it down into your spirit that you are accepted, loved, wanted, and cherished by God.
Just a final note: Once we are free from rejection, accepting only God’s identity of ourselves, we often find there is a matter of forgiveness that needs to happen towards those who hurt us so deeply. Read Giving Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness Part 1 and Part 2 for help in this area.