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‘Twas the Night after Christmas 2022

Twas the night after Christmas and I was still numb;

The holidays felt like they had not really come.

It’s hard to explain, but it didn’t seem fair,

That my child is now gone, and I cannot share

The laughter and joy of this fun holiday

In our wonderful, traditional family way.

She is not nestled all snug in her bed

With memories of another Christmas filling her head.

“Will it ever get better?” I ask in my heart,

Knowing that each year we will remain apart.

As I cry out to God full of heartache and tears,

He reminds me His presence remains very near.

And though I don’t feel a desire to celebrate 

The reason to do so remains very great.

For Jesus came as a baby on earth

To give life here meaning, value and worth.

And even though I have said goodbye

And I am confused and don’t know why,

The truth remains I will see you again

And there will be no more tears or pain.

But until that day comes and it’s my turn to go

There is one thing that I certainly know,

The love that I have for you is without measure

And you remain in my heart, as a beautiful treasure.

And while dreading to go into a year that is new

I realize each day brings me closer to you.

My Christmas may not have been merry and bright,

But because Jesus came, someday, it will all be made right.

(by author Laura Diehl)

 

If you would like to hear Laura read this poem she wrote click here.

If would like a nice printable copy click here. (This will also allow you to start getting the Weekly Word of Hope email from Laura, from which you can unsubscribe at any time.)

Be sure to share to use the share buttons to pass this on to others who might be touched by it.

 

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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Twas the Night After Christmas

Twas the Night After Christmas

-By Author Laura Diehl

 

Twas the night after Christmas and I was still numb;

The holidays felt like they had not really come.

It’s hard to explain, but it didn’t seem fair,

That my child is now gone, and I cannot share

The laughter and joy of this fun holiday

In our wonderful, traditional family way.

She is not nestled all snug in her bed

With memories of another Christmas filling her head.

“Will it ever get better?” I ask in my heart,

Knowing that each year we will remain apart.

As I cry out to God full of heartache and tears,

He reminds me His presence remains very near.

And though I don’t feel a desire to celebrate

The reason to do so remains very great.

For Jesus came as a baby on earth

To give life here meaning, value and worth.

And even though I have said goodbye

And I am confused and don’t know why,

The truth remains I will see you again

And there will be no more tears or pain.

But until that day comes and it’s my turn to go

There is one thing that I certainly know,

The love that I have for you is without measure

And you remain in my heart, as a beautiful treasure.

And while dreading to go into a year that is new

I realize each day brings me closer to you.

My Christmas may not have been merry and bright,

But because Jesus came, someday, it will all be made right.

 

 

Are you a newly bereaved parent, having lost your child in the last year or two? If so, we would like to send you a word of hope and encouragement from someone who has been right where you are. You are not alone. Let us here at Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) walk with you on this unwanted life-long journey.

(Along with this PDF, you will be added to our email list to receive a Weekly Word of Hope, which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

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It’s Okay Not to Be Okay!

When we have to say a final earthly goodbye to our child, it affects everything.

Even the word family takes on a whole new meaning. Our family will never be complete again. There are no replacements for child loss…

Ever.

And because of that, phrases with the word family in them can bring on crashing emotions.

 • Family photo
• Family reunion
• Family vacation
• Family meal
• Family pack (of tickets, etc.)
• Family holiday
• Family picnic

Any kind of family gathering, event, or even advertisements, is a glaring reminder of the child we are missing.

We get a front row seat to the meaning of the word bittersweet. For me personally:

Our middle son will be the only one of the siblings who had all five of them present at his wedding. The other three will be missing their sister, both at the event itself, and in the family wedding photos. Bittersweet…

We have had four grandchildren born since Becca died. The day those precious little ones made their entrance into the world was wonderful, but someone was missing. We only have one grandchild who knew her Aunt Becca. Any other grandchildren will not have that blessing. Bittersweet…

Our family is growing, and as my children get married and start their own families, it gets harder to have us all together for the holidays. On those fun times when we are all together, we aren’t really all together, because Becca and her daughter are missing. Bittersweet…

Graduations, school dances, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, birthday parties, weddings, baby showers…all of these and many more events can be overshadowed with a reminder of who is not there, and be bittersweet…

As I sit here at my desk, I am surrounded by memories and thoughts of Becca. It always amazes me how some days memories can make me smile, and other days they bring tears.

Holidays, like the ones we have just been through, definitely have the same effect on me. Some moments, some days, some years are filled with tears, and others are filled with warm memories that bring smiles and even laughter.

And I have learned that it’s okay. It’s okay to be smiling one moment and crying the next.

It’s okay to be able to go to one event but not go to the next event.

It’s okay to want to talk about my child with someone who misses her. It’s okay to not want to talk about my child right now to anyone.

It’s okay to fall apart and be a mess because something triggered a wave of grief, and it’s okay to have that happen with no explanation.

It’s okay to finally have a burst of energy one day, and the next day not even get out of bed (much less get dressed).

It’s okay not to be okay! Let me say that again, a little louder this time.

IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY!

Well now, this doesn’t sound like a word of hope, does it? At least not to those who have never faced a deep loss like ours. But if you are anything like me, this was a relief when I found out it is not only okay to be like this, but NORMAL!

It gave me so much hope to know that there are other bereaved parents out there who were once in the same place I am and yet seem to have figured out how to live without their child. And that they still have moments of not being okay with their child being gone from this earth.

And it also helps, when we can find ways others around us make sure the memory of our child is kept alive at these bittersweet events.

With that being said, here are a few suggestions to help you face events this coming year, that you just can’t seem to avoid, in a way that will bring some relief to you, if only for a few moments.

1. Take a memory book and ask people to write something to your child and a special memory.

2. Ask them to make a toast specifically acknowledging by name all family members who have passed on.

3. Play one of your child’s favorite upbeat songs and have everyone dance to it (even something fun like the Chicken Dance song or the always animated favorite Let It Go).

4. Have a silly hat contest, with your child’s favorite color featured. (This would have to be planned ahead and might make a wonderful yearly tradition. Then wear the same hats each year or change it up and make new ones.)

5. Find photos of the family members/friends with your child and make it into a video with music everyone will enjoy watching.

6. Take a movie your child liked to watch and ask the group you are with to watch it with you.

And if none of these suggestions seem like they will make you want to be there, guess what? It’s okay!

So often we are told in life, “It’s not about you.” But the truth is, sometimes it is.

Only you know what is right for you, as a bereaved parent, through the difficult events in the coming year. But whatever you do, do it with HOPE, knowing that means:

HOPE – Hold On, Pain Eases!

I will never say the pain ends, but it will eventually ease, as we learn how to carry the pain of our loss in a way that doesn’t consume and devour us.

But we will always have moments where it still does, and that is okay.

GPS Hope has made an eBook of the top five blogs of 2018. If you would like your own free copy, just let us know below.

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss to a place of hope, light and purpose.
 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

 

Expressions of Hope is written by author and speaker Laura Diehl. Laura is a national keynote speaker and also a workshop speaker for both The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences. Laura has also been a guest on Open to Hope several times, and has hosted her own conferences, a virtual conference and many webinars. If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event, click here.

 

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Stop Telling Me I Need to be Thankful

Yes, this is the time of year where “thankfulness” abounds. It is everywhere we turn, from store decorations to commercials to Facebook posts.

But what do we do, when thankfulness is the furthest thing from our minds, and definitely not in our hearts? Do we stay in our house and pull the curtains tight? Do we yell at the TV, telling people who can’t hear us to stop it? Do we stay off social media, so we don’t have to feel like we are gagging at how happy and thankful everyone else is?

Yes, we might do all of those things and much more.

I KNOW how hard it is to be thankful or grateful this time of year, especially when those around us who have never lost a child tells us that is what we should do, because it will make us feel better!!!

Unless you can bring my child back, don’t tell me what to do to make me feel better! Right?

It has been seven years since Becca died, and this is a holiday I still struggle with, but for a different reason than you might think. You see, the last memory of all of us together for this holiday was at Becca’s house.

My Last Thanksgiving with My Daughter

Becca was very ill with severe heart damage (needing a heart transplant) and wheelchair bound. But in her LOVE for hosting and entertaining (it was a God-given gift she was quite good at) she begged to have Thanksgiving at her house instead of the tradition of everyone coming to ours. There were several people who said it would just be too hard; that she couldn’t do it. I knew I would still be the one making most of the food, and preferred using my own kitchen, but something in me knew she really needed to do this. So, I rallied around her, and convinced everyone (including her husband who would also need to shoulder much of the load) to let Becca host the family.

If you know anything about Becca, she always went (what some would consider) way overboard in decorating and preparing when she hosted, which is what made her so good at it. She was also OCD, and everything had to be done to her idea of perfection. (Not always a good combination, I must say…) And what made it worse that particular Thanksgiving Day, was that the only place to fit all fourteen of us was in their basement. This meant that she had to be carried up and down the stairs, with her wheelchair following, to be put back in it. It was a lot of extra work for several of us, causing some frazzled nerves for sure.

But she did it and was SO happy that day as we sat down to eat! My tears are running down my face right now, thinking about it.

This is one of those very bittersweet memories for sure.

And it is my choice to either dwell on the bitter, or on the sweet. As you well know, thinking about the pain of the deep loss, keeps us sucked under the suffocating darkness of grief. BUT, if we force ourselves to dwell on the sweet, such as how super glad I am that I convinced the rest of the family to let Becca host us, on what became her last Thanksgiving here on earth with us, and the wonderful memories I have because of it, I find myself so very thankful. (Oops, there is that word…)

And there you have it. You get to make the choice. Not because others tell you that you should, but because you want your memories to not only give you pain, but to also bring a smile to your heart within that pain.

If this is your first or second year without your child during the holiday season, it might not be possible yet. And that’s okay. But just know that you can eventually become thankful for the memories and the times you had, instead of swallowed up in indescribable pain at not having your child with you. It is possible.

From my personal experience, and many others who are on the same road, we have learned that finding even the tiniest things to be thankful for can start to make a huge difference on this journey. But it isn’t because someone told you that is what you should do. It is because you are ready to make a shift out of the darkness, and realize that this is one of those steps toward the light.

Are you already dreading the Christmas season? I invite you to join me each Sunday live during the advent season, to walk through this difficult time of year together, acknowledging Emmanuel, God with us, within the painful earthly loss of our children. To find out more about it, click here.

 

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss to a place of hope, light and purpose.
 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

Expressions of Hope is written by author and speaker Laura Diehl. Laura is a national keynote speaker and also a workshop speaker for both The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences. Laura has also been a guest on Open to Hope several times, and has hosted her own conferences, a virtual conference and many webinars. If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event, click here.

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