When Faith Doesn’t Remove the Pain
One of the most important things to understand is that being a spiritual person does not erase the pain of losing your child.
You can fully believe your child is in heaven.
You can trust God.
You can have a strong faith.
And still feel completely broken by their absence.
Thinking about heaven after child loss does not automatically take away the longing to see them, to hear their voice, to hold them again. It does not stop the tears or quiet the ache that shows up in unexpected moments.
Your grief does not mean your faith is weak.
It means your love runs deep.
When You Don’t Know for Sure
For some parents, thinking about heaven after child loss brings up an even heavier question:
“What if I don’t know for sure my child is there?” This is something many carry silently.
If that is you, I want to gently remind you of something I have come to believe with all my heart: God is big enough, loving enough, and merciful enough to have made every opportunity possible for your child to accept Him before leaving this earth.
That moment could have happened in a way you know nothing about.
In a quiet thought.
In a fleeting moment.
Even in their final breaths.
Not having the information you want does not mean something didn’t happen.
God sees what we cannot see. He knows what we do not know. And even though it may not seem like it, His love for your child is even greater than yours.
As we all know, the Bible is correct when it says fear brings torment. We can either choose to live in fear that our child might not be there, or we can live in faith that they accepted God’s invitation at some point, even at the moment of crossing over. I recommend the peace that faith brings, trusting that your child said yes, and he or she is there waiting for you.
Longing to See Your Child First
There is something else that can surface when thinking about heaven after child loss, and it may bring a sense of guilt.
You may realize that your strongest desire when you get to heaven is to see your child, even more than seeing Jesus.
And then you wonder… What does that say about me?
Let me gently say this: you are not a terrible person for feeling that way. You have made an incredibly valuable deposit in heaven. Your child is there. Of course your heart longs to be where they are.
That longing is not a lack of faith—it is an expression of love. And I believe Jesus understands that completely. After all, Jesus Himself told us in Matthew 6:21 that where our treasure is, our heart will be, and our children are some of our greatest treasures we will ever have on this earth.
What Our Children Are Experiencing Now
When we allow ourselves to keep thinking about heaven after child loss, there is something else that begins to unfold, which is a sense of wonder.
Our children are not just “in a better place.” They are fully alive in a reality we can barely begin to imagine.
Can you picture it?
One day, when we arrive, we will probably hear stories about our children; stories from people we have only read about in Scripture.
Imagine Moses coming up to you, smiling, wanting to tell you something your child did. Or David, or Esther, or Paul. These are names from history to us, but they are real relationships to our children!
That thought alone can bring a smile to your heart, and maybe even put a smile on your face for a brief moment.
Heaven Is Truly a Good Place
As we continue thinking about heaven after child loss, we need to remind ourselves of something that can be easy to forget in the middle of our pain:
Heaven is a good place.
Not just better than here.
Not just free from suffering.
It is so good that those who have seen even a glimpse of it struggle to describe it.
We know what it feels like to experience pain so deep we don’t have words for it. But the glory our children are experiencing is beyond words in the opposite direction.
Romans 8:18 tells us that the glory to be revealed cannot even be compared to the suffering.
Not even compared.
That must be incredible beyond anything we can imagine. And our children are living in that reality right now.
Shifting Our Focus, Even Just a Little
Let’s be honest. We would all choose to have our children here with us. Without hesitation. Without question.
Thinking about heaven after child loss is not about replacing that desire. It’s not about pretending we are okay with them being gone. It is about giving our hearts a place to rest, even if only for a moment.
Because since having them here is no longer an option, what would happen if we allowed ourselves to think about where they are instead of where they are not?
When our children were here, we wanted good things for them. We sacrificed, we worried, we prayed. We did everything we could to take care of them.
Now… God is doing that for us. And I am certain He is doing a better job of it than I ever could.
There is something that begins to settle in our hearts when we realize:
We no longer have to worry about them.
We no longer have to pray those tear-filled prayers over their safety or their future.
They are safe.
They are whole.
They are filled with joy.
Believe me, I know that does not remove the pain of missing them. But it can soften the edge of it.
A Gentle Invitation
Today, I want to gently invite you to spend some time thinking about heaven after child loss in a different way.
Not as something distant.
Not as something uncertain.
But as a place where your child is fully alive, surrounded by love, and experiencing a joy beyond anything we have known here.
Even if just for a few moments, let your heart rest there.
Final Thought
“So we do not set our sights on the things we can see with our eyes. All of that is fleeting; it will eventually fade away. Instead, we focus on the things we cannot see, which live on and on,” 2 Corinthians 4:18 (VOICE).
There is a day coming when what we cannot see will become what we finally do see.
Until then, may these thoughts give your heart just a little more room to breathe as you continue walking this journey.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 341. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
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AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.
In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.
For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.
The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.
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