If you’ve been on this unwanted journey for any length of time, you’ve probably asked yourself the question, “Where do I go from here?” It’s a question I have heard from countless grieving parents over the years, and it’s one I asked myself after the death of my daughter, Becca.
Whether you’ve just finished reading When Tragedy Strikes, have been listening to the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast, or have simply reached a place where surviving each day isn’t your only goal anymore, you may find yourself wondering what comes next.
Finding your next step after child loss is something nearly every pareavor wrestles with at some point, and I want to encourage you today with something I’ve learned along the way.
We Long to See the Whole Journey
One of the hardest parts of grief is that we desperately want someone to hand us a map. We long for certainty because so much of what once felt stable has been taken from us. Yet as difficult as it can be, God rarely gives us the entire blueprint. Instead, He gently gives us enough light for the next step.
That isn’t always what we want. We ask for answers, but so often God offers us His presence instead. We want to know where the road leads, while He lovingly reaches out His hand and says, “Trust Me with today.” Looking back now, I can see that He wasn’t withholding something from me. He was teaching me to depend on Him one step at a time.
One Brick at a Time
Years ago, when I wrote When Tragedy Strikes, I used the picture of rebuilding a house to describe what happens after the death of our child. I wasn’t talking about replacing our child or somehow becoming the person we were before our loss. That is impossible. I was talking about allowing God to begin rebuilding our lives on a foundation that has been shaken to its very core.
Think about building a house for a moment. It doesn’t appear overnight. One brick is laid, then another. One wall is framed, then another. If you stood at the construction site after the first day, you might wonder if any real progress had been made at all. Yet every single brick matters because each one becomes part of something much bigger than itself. Our lives after child loss often grow in much the same way.
Finding your next step after child loss usually isn’t about taking giant leaps forward. More often, it’s choosing one small act of faith. Sometimes, that next step is simply getting out of bed. Sometimes it’s opening your Bible for the first time in weeks. Sometimes it’s allowing a trusted friend to come alongside you, returning to church after a long absence, or giving yourself permission to smile without feeling guilty.
Those things may seem insignificant, but God has a beautiful way of using small steps to accomplish far more than we can imagine.
God Is Faithful to Show You the Next Step
As I look back over my own journey, I realize that God never asked me to figure out the rest of my life. He didn’t ask me to understand what GPS Hope would become or imagine that one day I would be writing books, recording podcasts, speaking to grieving parents, and creating resources that would reach people around the world. He simply asked me to trust Him with the next brick. Once that brick was in place, He faithfully showed me the next one.
That’s why I want to encourage you not to become discouraged if you can’t see very far ahead. If you’re asking God to reveal something down the road, you may be waiting for something He never intended to show you all at once. Instead, ask Him to reveal today’s step. That’s a prayer He delights in answering.
Sometimes We Need Someone to Walk Beside Us
Over the years, I’ve heard from so many parents who have read When Tragedy Strikes. Some have told me they finished it in just a day or two because they couldn’t put it down. Others needed weeks or even months because every chapter stirred emotions that they needed time to process. Regardless of how they read it, many eventually came back with the same question: “Where do I go from here?”
That question is one of the reasons I created the Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing workshops several years ago. A book can encourage you, remind you that you’re not alone, and point you toward biblical hope. But sometimes we need someone to walk beside us as we sort through the questions, fears and practical challenges that come with learning to live after the death of our child.
A Gentle Way to Continue the Journey
Recently, I spent time reorganizing those workshops, not because the message had changed, but because I wanted the order to better reflect the journey so many grieving parents experience. The first course, How Do I Even Start to Rebuild My Life?, focuses on laying a foundation and learning to care for yourself during those overwhelming early stages of grief. The second course, Working Through the Darkness, helps you honestly face the ripple effects of grief, your changed identity, and even the difficult questions you may have for God. The third course, Looking Toward My Future, gently explores how it is possible to embrace the life God still has for you without ever leaving your child behind.
I love those three titles because together they tell a story. They acknowledge that rebuilding doesn’t begin with having all the answers. It begins by taking one step. Then another. And another. None of us walk this journey perfectly, and none of us walk it at exactly the same pace. Some pareavors are ready for a next step sooner than others. There is no right timeline; only your timeline and God’s faithful presence within it.
Trust God With Today’s Step
Perhaps that’s what you needed to hear today. Grief is not a race, and it certainly isn’t a straight line. Finding your next step after child loss will probably look very different from someone else’s, and that’s okay. God knows exactly where you are. He knows what your heart can carry today, and He is wonderfully patient as He leads you forward.
If you’re wondering where to go from here, don’t put pressure on yourself to figure out the next ten steps. Simply ask God to show you today’s step. It may be one prayer, one conversation, one act of obedience, or one decision to trust Him in a new way. Those seemingly small moments become the building blocks of a life that continues to honor both your child and the God who has promised never to leave you.
Finding your next step after child loss isn’t about reaching a place where grief disappears. It’s about learning, day by day, that God’s presence is enough for this moment and that He will faithfully meet you again when it’s time for the next one. You may not know what tomorrow holds, but you can trust the One who is already there, lovingly leading you one gentle step at a time.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 358. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
When you’re ready for the next step, the Rebuilding Your Life After Child Loss Workshops will be here to walk that path with you.
Check out all the GPS Hope resources here.
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AWARD WINNING AUTHOR, LAURA DIEHL, has written several impactful books that provide comfort and guidance to those navigating the painful journey of child loss, after the death of her own daughter in 2011. Her most acclaimed work, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, has received multiple accolades, including the 2017 Gold Medal Centauri Christian Book Award for Non-Fiction and a Silver Medal in the 2018 Illumination Awards. Several of her other books have won awards as well.
In addition to her writing, Laura is an ordained minister and has an extensive background in international children’s ministry. She is a sought-after speaker and singer at grief conferences and churches, known for her compassionate approach and deep understanding of the grieving process, especially the unique loss of a child. Through her weekly award-winning podcast, her writings, and other resources provided by GPS Hope, Laura and her husband, Dave, continue to provide hope and healing to thousands of parents worldwide, helping them find light in the midst of profound loss and darkness.
For more information about Laura’s award-winning books go to gpshope.org/books.
To find out more about Laura Diehl and the ministry of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) visit gpshope.org.
The link to Hope for the Future is an affiliate link, allowing part of the purchase price to go to GPS Hope.
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