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To Know and Be Known

Recently one morning, as I was having a time of reflection with the Holy Spirit, I suddenly found myself fighting tears for no apparent reason with what felt like a sense of longing. I asked the Holy Spirit, “Why? What is going on?” and the words came to my mind “to know and be known”.

The tears were released as I realized what a huge longing it is to be known, for who I really am; in all my doubts, in all my shame, in all my humanity of dark thoughts and messing up. But not just to be known in all of that, but to still be loved and wanted.

I suddenly had a much deeper realization; that is who God is in my life! He knows things about me that I don’t even know about myself yet, and still loves me and wants me. He came to live inside me, even in all of that yuckiness.

I suddenly wanted to know Him. I mean really know Him, because who does that? Who sees all the darkness inside me that I try to hide from others, and still chooses me? That is a kind of love I want and need to be part of; to know and to be known. I want to know God in the same deep, intimate way that He knows me.

I was led to turn to Hebrews 12, starting with the verses about a great cloud of witnesses. God spoke so much to me in that chapter (reading from The Passion Translation).

Earlier this week, I shared some of those things in episode 199 on the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast. If you would like to listen in, it’s very simple and easy to do. Just click here, and then click on the play button. That’s it.  (Or you can find the podcast on any of your favorite listening platforms.)

Life here is hard. To be human means to go through suffering. It is pretty amazing that Jesus came here as a human, and faced a depth of suffering greater than any of us ever will.  But God is with us, even when we cannot see or feel His presence. Jesus knows what that is like, because He felt the same way in His place of darkness.

God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are One. That means that God felt Jesus’ pain as well. On the other end of that, there was the joy of His resurrection power, and that is what our children are experiencing and living in right now!

Someday, we will get to experience that also. Our time here will also be over, and we will be reunited with our children, experiencing the same glorious resurrection power. But until then, I want to encourage you to have hope that it can get better while you are here without your child.

I will even go so far as to say it will get better as you learn to not stay focused on what is missing, and instead begin to focus on the life you still have. Begin to focus on the fact that God not only knows you, He knows you fully and completely and wants to be with you – every part of you; the great, the good, the bad and the downright ugly parts of you. And you have the opportunity to know Him in the depths of suffering that few others can, which means we also get to know Him deeply in His glorious resurrection power (Philippians 3:10).

Let yourself know Him and be known by Him. Allow that longing to be fulfilled. It is one of the greatest gifts you will ever have here on this earth, especially while you are waiting to “go home.” After all, your child who is with Him now knows Him intimately. Why not do what you can right now to know and receive the depths of God’s love, and to be able to experience as much as possible of what your child is experiencing right now?

Laura’s newest book, Reflections of Hope: Daily Readings for Bereaved Parents will be available in a few weeks. To find out more, click here. You can also sign up to be one of the first ones to know when the book is available, along with a few bonus items you can receive if you order it right away.

 

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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I Choose (by Carol Krawiec)

 

The following was written on April 28, 2014, two years to the day after losing our oldest son Daniel.  It was the week after Easter. Our pastor had preached a message about what it was like for the disciples to live in the “Saturday” of that resurrection weekend.  He compared the pain and confusion of that day following the death of Jesus to the world we live in today. He spoke of the joy of the resurrection on “Sunday’ and the secure hope that we as believers in Jesus Christ can cling to in the midst of trials.

That morning was a turning point for me in my journey of grief.  I had walked through the first year numb and in a fog.  The second year was so painful because as the fog began to subside, I felt the intense loss.  Over the past ten years my grief has come in waves.  As the waves recede, I am filled with a sense of God’s presence and a peace in knowing that Dan was at rest, and all is well with my soul.

In May of 2019 and June of 2021, we also lost Timothy and Benjamin, the two youngest of our five sons. It has taken many years of leaning into my grief to move along in my journey. It is far from over as I find myself in that place of raw grief once again. There are times when the enormity of my loss overwhelms me. I don’t pretend to understand it all, but I trust God and I know He will continue to faithfully carry me.

 

I CHOOSE
Life was forever changed two years ago, early on a Saturday morning.
As I sit on the floor of this room that was once occupied by our son
I choose not to allow the memory of the horrific discovery be my only thought.
I choose to picture this room as the place of a Holy visitation.
I choose to picture bright light breaking through the darkness of a raging battle.
I choose to visualize the broken chains that bound him to addiction lying on the floor.
I choose to be proud of the countless battles that our son won throughout his journey.
I choose to believe that although the enemy won the battle that day, God was victorious.
I choose to let the cleansing tears of a broken heart flow because I know that Jesus wept.
I choose to lift my hands in worship to my God and thank Him for the gift of 32 years.
I choose to believe that although this world is far from good, my God is Good.
I choose peace over anxiety; acceptance rather than anger; hope over despair.
I choose to believe that the pain I feel today is a reminder that this is not my Home.
I choose to rest secure in knowing that my child is forever with the Lord.
Because:
“No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.”
I choose to believe that even though I am living in the pain of “Saturday,”
“Sunday” is coming and it will all make sense when I see Him Face-to-face.

 

Carol’s three sons

 

Many of us feel guilty after the death of our child, thinking we should have done more, or made a different decision, or been there for them in a different way than we were, etc. Click here to read Help! I Feel so Guilty… written by a mom whose daughter died by suicide.

If you struggle with guilt, we would like to send you Ten Tips to Overcome Guilt. Just click here and fill in your name and email address and hit submit.

We promise we will not spam you. However, you will be added to our growing family of thousands of bereaved parents who receive a Weekly Word of Hope email each Wednesday morning. (Just use the unsubscribe button at the bottom of each email if you no longer wish to receive it.)

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

 

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