Psalm 23:1 states that because the Lord is our Shepherd, we have everything we need. As a bereaved parent, that can be difficult to believe, because we feel like we need our child back!
The Need for Gritty Grace
One thing we truly desperately need is grace. But we don’t just need grace. As my friend Kim Avery (who lost a daughter from this earth) says, what we need at a time like this is “gritty grace.”
We don’t know for sure what it was, but we do know that there was something that was causing a lot of suffering for Paul. We read in 2 Corinthians 12 that Paul asked God three times to take this thing away, and three times God said, “No.”. But He also told Paul that His grace was “sufficient” (or just enough) to get him through whatever it was, and that God’s power was being seen through Paul’s weakness.
When we first find ourselves in this horrible place of pain and suffocating darkness, His grace is just enough to get us through each day, each hour, each minute, or just the next breath. (That is what Kim calls gritty grace.) But His grace is more than just barely making it through. It is also deep at work in us for when we come out of our place of darkness. He not only gives us the strength to endure but also starts changing what we want.
Our Shepherd isn’t just helping us survive, He is shifting our desires, giving us the power to do what we could never do on our own. When I say He is shifting our desires, I don’t mean that we stop loving or missing our child, but He changes what we think we need, which shifts us into the place of peace that we so desperately want and need.
From Survival to New Purpose
God’s grace will not only get us past just surviving, but to where we even start feeling happiness and joy. We can and will have meaning and purpose once again in our lives because of His grace; because He has everything we truly need.
I know some of you may think that is impossible. But nothing is impossible when it comes to God. Do you agree that it would take a miracle for your life to get to that place? Guess what? God is in the miracle working business.
His power is at work in us, shaping us into something absolutely beautiful, so much more than we can imagine. As we lean on and depend on Him to help us through, we become someone we never thought or even imagined that we could be.
The Shepherd Who Has Everything We Need
God’s grace is changing our focus from what we think we need, to what we really need, which is Him, as our Shepherd. This isn’t a consolation prize, or second best for those of us who didn’t get the miracle for our child that we wanted. It is God’s deepest, most personal and intimate work.
He is making us whole, with a strength that comes through His grace that we would not have any other way. This is why David could say in Psalm 23 that God has (and is) everything we need. We really don’t fully know the power of God’s grace, until we experience it in a way like this.
The Lord truly is Your Shepherd and has everything you need to get through this. Keep leaning into Him until you see the truth of it for yourself.
NOTE: This was partially taken from the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode 298. Click here to listen to the full discussion, or look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast on your favorite listening app.
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Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope), a ministry founded by Dave and Laura Diehl, to walk with parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. Laura is the author of multiple award-winning books, a national speaker and singer/songwriter.
If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.
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and a grandmother of two. She is married to her high school sweetheart. Many years ago as a young woman, she gave her life to the Lord and her strong faith has been the light that guides her path. As a newly grieving mom, she knows the only way to survive the depth of despair is to lean into God more than ever. Only he can save her from the intense darkness of grief. She is trusting God for hope and joy as she learns to navigate this painful new normal after the death of her son.
