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I’ll Love You Forever

February is a month where “love is in the air” with Valentine’s Day. Personally, I always used this day to love on my kids, since I didn’t feel like Dave and I needed a day set aside to show our love for each other.

One reason the pain is so deep after the death of our child is because our love for him or her doesn’t go away when they leave us. The love we have for our children lasts forever, which is expressed in the writing below.

Forever

My child,
Flesh of my flesh,
Soul of my soul,
Part of my very being;
I had an instant deep and fierce love when I first saw you.
My heart was yours, and I knew I would give my very life to protect you.

And yet, here I sit, with the suffocating pain and darkness of knowing I was unable to protect you from death.

So now I find that just as deep and intense as my love for you, is the deep and intense pain of my grief in living without you. And yet I know that somehow, I must.

How? How God? How do I go on with a piece of my very being gone from this earth?

And as I ask and seek for this help, God in His tender love, compassion and faithfulness reminds me that I don’t have to live without you.

You are forever in my heart and my thoughts, and forever a part of my very being; that our separation is only temporary. You have just moved on to our eternal home before me and have unpacked and settled in, waiting for me and the rest of us to join you.

This isn’t a final good-by. It is an “I’ll see you later.” When I have the thoughts that I would give anything to see you again, to hug you or hear you laugh, I realize that I will! Maybe not as soon as I want to, but it will happen!

And so, I will wait. I will wait with hope, expectancy and even excitement to see you again. Every day I am here on this earth means I am one day closer to that desperate need that I have as a mother to love on you. 

And while I wait, I will choose to live my life in a way that is full; full of love, full of peace and contentment, full of laughter. And yet I know it will also still be full of pain and longing. For I have now learned that all of these things can live inside of me together.

So, let me say I am honored. I am honored and blessed to be your mom, and I imagine and dream of our reunion someday, filled with love and joy that goes beyond words to describe it.

But until then, I will have good days and bad days. I will have days filled with happiness, and days filled with pain. And all of those days I will continue miss you with every fiber of my being.

We grieve deeply, because we love deeply. That is one of the risks of love. But as the poem reminds us, our child is forever in our hearts and in our thoughts. He or she is forever a part of our very being. Our separation is only temporary, because God, in His deep love for our child and for us, made a way for that to be possible.

Consider praying this prayer with me: Lord, my deep grief is a reminder of my deep love that cannot be poured out on my child right now. But someday we will be together again, and all this stored up love will be dumped on my child! And Father, I ask that right now, you would give my child a big hug from me, and love on them in my place. Thank you.

 

If you were to buy a little Valentine gift to show your child how much you love and miss them, what would it be? I would love to have you share it in the comments below.

 

By the way, Laura has written a song that expresses some of the thoughts above. Click here to listen to the song Together Forever.

 

 

 

 

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

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Episode 41: Paying it Forward (With Crystal Webster)

This second episode of the Helping Your Child Leave a Legacy series is with guest, Crystal Webster, who lost her one and only child eight hours after birth. Several years later, after coming out of the debilitating darkness of grief, she discovered something she could do that would help others who found themselves in that same place, be able to “pay it forward” when they came out of their own dark place of grief.

During our conversation, we also covered a few other topics within the world of grief.

Crystal’s suggestion to helping your child leave a legacy: Find something (and it doesn’t have to be big) that brings others happiness and yourself happiness.

Crystal Webster’s daughter, Madelyn Elizabeth, died just 8 short hours after birth while in her mother’s arms.  As Crystal grieved the loss of her only child, she began to feel isolated and ill-equipped to handle her emotional journey. Vowing to honor her daughter’s brief life and to support others from feeling as lost and lonely as she did, Sharing Solace was founded, which brings together those grieving any type of loss by providing physical keepsake gifts intended to be ‘paid forward’ to others.

 

(Note: The views and opinions of our guests outside of this podcast may not be in agreement with GPS Hope.) 
Links referred to in this podcast episode:

To find out more about Crystal, her book coming out, and Sharing Solace, click here.

Go to Laura’s publisher Morgan James Publishing 

Go to My Book Hook for help on how to write a book, or sign up for an Author Secrets webinar that will also get you started and connected with AAE. (Note, both of these links are connected to Laura’s name, so that if you decide to publish your book through Author Academy Elite, GPS Hope will get a monetary thank you from AAE for the recommendation.)

Birthdays:

There are no birthdays to announce this week.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

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Episode 40: Texting and Driving (with Patti Small)

Today is an interview with the first guest for the How to Leave Your Child a Legacy Series.

Patti has had quite the journey for over twelve years since the death of her daughter, Megan. I am sure you will take away some valuable thoughts, especially the word of encouragement that hope and helping others, go hand-in-hand.

 

Patricia Small grew up in the beautiful upper peninsula of Michigan. While doing her medical internship in Houston, she met her husband, Kevin, and they had two children, Megan and Jacob. Their children were the center of their world and life was good, filled with the typical sports and school events.

But Patti’s life changed forever on November 25, 2007.

Her daughter, Megan, was returning to Baylor University after Thanksgiving break when she was killed instantly in a head on collision by a young college student who was texting behind the wheel of his truck.

In March of 2010, a jury in a civil trial found this young man responsible for the wrongful death of Megan Marie Small after only 2 and one-half hours of deliberation. The landmark verdict established a precedent for distracted driving accident victims across Texas and throughout the country and continues to make reckless drivers responsible.

Since that time, Patti has honored her daughter’s life by becoming an advocate for distracted driving awareness in the state of Texas. She is now also an advocate for Texas statewide “hand-free” legislation and looks forward to her retirement years when she can become a full-time advocate and speaker in the local schools and student driving facilities.

 

(Note: The views and opinions of our guests outside of this podcast may not be in agreement with GPS Hope.) 
Links referred to in this podcast episode:

Email Patti Small at triish2424@aol.com

Listen to podcast episode 32: Why Should I Go to a Retreat?

I am interested in sponsoring a podcast in honor of my child.

 

Birthdays:

Richie Rudkin was born on January 27 and is forever 27.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

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Episode 39: Helping Your Child Leave a Legacy

We can make sure our child’s legacy continues to live on in a way that makes a difference in this world, even if he or she never took a breath outside the womb.

This episode is laying the foundation for the series Helping Your Child Leave a Legacy. For the next few weeks we will be talking to parents who have done everything from starting a local support group, to raising money for a cause, to writing books, to starting businesses and non-profits, to helping change laws.

Your child’s life mattered! The fact that your child died matters; it matters to society and it matters to the world. And your pain matters! YOU are the one who can make sure your child is remembered and that his or her life will continue to touch others even though he or she isn’t here on earth any more.

We can take our horrific pain and allow God to help us use it for something good.

 

Links referred to in this podcast episode:

I want to know more about placing a heart on the Hope Mobile in loving memory of my child.

I am interested in sponsoring a podcast in honor of my child.

I want to be part of Hope for Hundreds, providing resources and support for other pareavors.

I want to add my child to the GPS Hope Wall of Remembrance.

I want to give a special gift or become a monthly partner with GPS Hope.

Birthdays:

Joshua Caldwell was born on January 16 and is forever 28.

Jeanette Marie was born on January 19 and is forever 36.

Hugh Brown was born on January 19 and is forever 18.

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

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Episode 38: The Top Podcast Episodes of 2019

As we start 2020, we decided to use this episode to look back and listen to a few minutes of each of the top five podcasts of 2019. (To go directly to these episodes to hear the full discussion, use the links in the “Links referred to” section below.)

The very first Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast went out on April 23rd, and that first one ended up being the fifth most popular. This was the first of eight episodes that deal with the difficult and necessary subject of forgiveness.

#5 – Episode 1: Is Forgiveness Really Necessary?

The episode that came in next, was the first one in a series about fears we deal with after the death of our child. There are so many fears we now must constantly fight our way through. The episode that laid the foundation for talking about some of the specific fears was number four.

#4 – Episode 12: Facing Our Fears After the Death of our Child

The third most popular episode of 2019 was from the series on how to take care of ourselves, body, soul and spirit. The episode where I talked about how the death of our child affects us emotionally seemed to be of interest to a lot of us.

#3 – Episode 22: The Emotional Breakdown

The podcast episode that came in second was part two of an interview with Glen Lord. Glen lost his 4 ½ year old son in 1999, so he has been on this journey for over twenty years and has so much wisdom and guidance for bereaved parents.

#2 – Episode 20 Finding Your Direction Again (with Glen Lord)

The number one Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode for 2019 was also with a guest. Ron Kelly has a passion for grief within the workplace, including how it affects employers, co-workers, and us as employees after the death of our child. This episode was packed with all kinds of help and information that goes beyond just the workplace.

#1 – Episode 9: Grief and the Workplace (with Ron Kelly)

So those are the top five podcast episodes for 2019.

Thank you for being a listener. With all the things going on in your life, we don’t take it lightly that you would take the time to hear what we hope is encouraging and helpful on this unwanted journey we have found ourselves on.

If you have a subject you would like to be discussed, or someone you think would be a good guest, I would love to hear from you. Let me know by emailing me at laura@gpshope.org.

 

Links referred to in this podcast episode:

NOTE: Any podcast can easily be found by using the URL: gpshope.org/podcast/#   but instead of the # put in the actual number of the podcast, such as gpshope.org/podcast/28.

 

#5 – Episode 1: Is Forgiveness Really Necessary? (The other episodes in this series are 2-8.)

#4 – Episode 12: Facing Our Fears After the Death of our Child (The other episodes in this series are 13-18.)

#3 – Episode 22: The Emotional Breakdown (The other episodes in this series are 23-27.)

#2 – Episode 20 Finding Your Direction Again with Glen Lord (Part one is episode 19.)

#1 – Episode 9: Grief and the Workplace with Ron Kelly

 

I want to keep this podcast listener supported (either with a special gift or become a monthly partner).

 

Birthdays

Ryan Hines was born on January 7 and is forever 27.

Adrienne was born on January 11 and is forever 19.

Jake Kalicki was born on January 12 and is forever 17.

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here.

Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

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