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Episode 18: I Am Afraid My Child Might Not Be in Heaven

Season Topic: Facing Our Fears After the Death of Our Child

Laura and her guest, Pastor Lynn Breeden, talk passionately to those parents who live in fear, not knowing if their child who died is in heaven.

They share things we know about God such as:

• His desire that no one perish without Him
• That nothing can separate us from His love
• How Jesus opened the door for the thief on the cross as that man was dying

Fear and faith come from the same root; it is our response to the unknown. We get to choose if we are going to live in the torment of fear (which comes from the enemy) or to rest in faith that God’s love found a way through the darkness and your child accepted His offer of salvation. It could have been earlier in life and you didn’t know it, or even in those moments of transition of leaving this earth.

Laura and Lynn talk about how it is not only possible, but probable that God reached out to your child and he or she grabbed ahold of Him. You can choose to have faith that your child is in heaven, and rest in that hope.

Lynn closes by praying over the listeners.

Lynn Breeden’s life was forever changed on October of 1987, when her son Joel Brian died of cancer at the age of five. After coming to terms with this loss, her greatest desire was to help other moms through their own loss, so they do not have to grieve alone. Lynn founded Mourning to Dancing, which is a non-denominational ministry, with the sole mission to offer comfort, hope, and encouragement to mothers who have suffered the loss of a child. She also currently serves as the Pastor for Bremen United Methodist Church in Bremen, Indiana. 

 

Birthdays

Katie Mullen was born on August 24 and is forever 19.

Kristina Michelle Lee was born on August 26 and is forever 26.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)

Links referred to in this podcast episode:

To find out more about GPS Hope retreat(s) click here.

To contact Pastor Lynn Breeden, click here, or go to her ministry, Mourning to Dancing on Facebook. 

If you have a topic you would like to hear discussed on the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope Podcast, email Laura Diehl.

 

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE.

www.gpshope.org

I want to partner with GPS Hope financially to help give support to grieving parents.

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

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Episode 17: I Am Afraid I am Losing My Mind

Season Topic: Facing Our Fears After the Death of Our Child

 

“Grief fog” or “grief brain” is a very real thing. There are chemical changes in our brain with deep grief, and it can affect us for a very long time, as in years. Some of us feel like we have permanently lost our sharp minds and the ability to think quickly.

You are not getting early Alzheimer’s – what a relief! It is just part of grief, and it is normal to have that fogginess increase at difficult times of year like our child’s death anniversary date, their birthday, etc.

Host Laura Diehl and her guest for this series on Facing Our Fears after the Death of Our Child, Lynn Breeden, tackle the subject of how grief affects us more than just emotionally, but also physically.

 

Lynn Breeden’s life was forever changed on October of 1987, when her son Joel Brian died of cancer at the age of five. After coming to terms with this loss, her greatest desire was to help other moms through their own loss, so they do not have to grieve alone. Lynn founded Mourning to Dancing, which is a non-denominational ministry, with the sole mission to offer comfort, hope, and encouragement to mothers who have suffered the loss of a child. She also currently serves as the Pastor for Bremen United Methodist Church in Bremen, Indiana. 

 

Birthdays

Jadyn Phillips was born on August 17, and she is forever 18.

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)

Links referred to in this podcast episode:

To let us know where you live, based on our travel itinerary to possibly meet or have us speak to a group, email us at office@gpshope.org.

To sponsor a heart on the Hope Mobile, click here.

 

To contact Pastor Lynn Breeden, click here.

Find Mourning to Dancing on Facebook.

 

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE.

www.gpshope.org

I want to partner with GPS Hope financially to help give support to grieving parents.

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

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Are You Tired of Disappointments?

Is unrelenting disappointment leaving you heartsick? Are you feeling hopeless in your situation?

Constant disappointment can leave us feeling weary and defeated. When we are weary from disappointment, we can get caught in a negative circle and not see any way out. And we have all been there.

Proverbs 13:12 is a Scripture that is probably familiar to you. I grew up with the King James Version which says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”

Here is the first half of the verse in some other translations.

“Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick” (MSG). Boy, that’s true, isn’t it?

How about, “When hope is crushed, the heart is crushed” (GNT).

And this one, “Hope which is delayed tormenteth the soul” (WYC).

We can get to a place where we have absolutely no hope in the situation in which we find ourselves. We can truly feel tormented because we can’t see any light in our place of darkness. Or if we can, it’s the “I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s probably a train” kind of thing. Only we aren’t joking, because it really feels that way.

The second part of Proverbs 13:12 states, “When the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” Several translation say, “But a fulfilled longing is a tree of life”. At least one version adds, “There is life and joy” (TLB).

17074-an-african-american-woman-looking-out-a-window-pvObviously, when we find ourselves in a very dark situation and we can’t see our way out, we need hope.

I address this in When Tragedy Strikes. This book was written after emerging from the darkness of the death of my daughter. When you bury your child, you can’t find your way out of that dark pit with a false hope, or a “wishful thinking” kind of hope. You have to have the real thing.

Waiting, Trusting, Hoping

I read somewhere that waiting, trusting, and hoping are like three strands of a rope. Trust is the middle strand, and hope and waiting are the two strands that wrap around it. This is a good description of how I have gotten to the place I have, with the grace of God.

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to…grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13 NIV).

When I talk about hope I am not talking about wishful thinking. I am talking about something we know is coming that we anticipate. A great example is a little girl who hopes she will get married someday. That is the wishful thinking kind of hope. But one day a young man comes into her life, they fall deeply in love, and he gets down on one knee with a question and a ring. Her getting married is no longer wishful thinking. It is something she actually starts planning for with anticipation, knowing it is coming.

That is the kind of hope God talks about and gives us in the Bible. Wishful thinking won’t get you out of your black hole of grief, but hope will. True hope. The anticipation of knowing that God will pull you out and put you on a path of life that leads you to fullness and satisfaction in walking out the destiny and purpose He still has for you. Death and life…the two can truly merge together as we get past our own death caused by the loss of our child. In God’s kingdom, life always comes from death. Allow God to plant His seed of hope right in the middle of your pain, and watch it grow i6nto life.

Facing your pain is hard to do—it’s never easy to face those things that make us feel so alone and broken. But every time we do, we grow a bit stronger, and we take one more step in the direction of healing.

No matter how broken you are today, tomorrow promises new hope.

Waiting, trusting, and hoping. We can actually make a decision for each of these.

  • We can choose to wait and allow God to do the work behind the scenes, or we can make a choice to be impatient and try to help God out by doing things our own way. This is not recommended, as it usually makes a mess of things. (Such as when Sarah tried doing things her own way in making sure Abraham had a son, by giving him her handmaid to sleep with.)
  • We can make a choice to trust God, even when we can’t see the outcome. It is better than choosing fear, when we can’t see the outcome.
  • We can choose to not give up. That is hope. And you can always lean on or borrow someone else’s hope for you, until your own hope returns.

These three, woven together, shine a light to get you back on the path of living again. Not just surviving, but thriving.

Remember, no matter how broken or hopeless you feel, tomorrow always promises new hope. Keep moving into a new tomorrow, until your tree of life is blooming once again.

 

 

Laura Diehl is an award-winning author, national speaker and singer. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests.

 

If you would like to receive monthly updates on their travel adventures click here and submit your name and email at the bottom of the page.

Looking for a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference? Click here.

 

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss to a place of hope, light and purpose.
 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

 

  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

 

 

 

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Episode 16: The Fear of Grief Triggers

Season Topic: Facing Our Fears After the Death of Our Child

 

Grief triggers can happen any time, any place and with no warning. And when it happens in public, it can be very unnerving.

Laura is once again joined by Pastor Lynn Breeden, who has been dealing with grief triggers for over 30 years, after the death of her five-year-old son, Joel.

This is now a normal part of life for those of us who have lost a child, and there is just now way around it. However, there are many ways to handle ourselves when these triggers stir up our deep, painful loss. Some are healthy, and some are not so healthy, and much of it depends on where you are in your journey.

This is something that will plague us for the rest of our lives. Laura and Lynn hope and pray that you find their discussion not only helpful, but comforting and encouraging.

 

Lynn Breeden’s life was forever changed on October of 1987, when her son Joel Brian died of cancer at the age of five. After coming to terms with this loss, her greatest desire was to help other moms through their own loss, so they do not have to grieve alone. Lynn founded Mourning to Dancing, which is a non-denominational ministry, with the sole mission to offer comfort, hope, and encouragement to mothers who have suffered the loss of a child. She also currently serves as the Pastor for Bremen United Methodist Church in Bremen, Indiana. 

 

Birthdays

This week we don’t have any birthdays to share with our listeners.

 

If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

The special song written for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)

Links referred to in this podcast episode:

Here is a link to the song Lynn talked about “Who You’d Be Today” by Kenny Chesney.

For more information about the When Tragedy Strikes course, and to sign up to get updates and know when it is open click here.

To find out more about the award winning book, When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child, click here.

To contact Pastor Lynn Breeden, click here.

Find Mourning to Dancing on Facebook.

 

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE.

www.gpshope.org

I want to partner with GPS Hope financially to help give support to grieving parents.

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

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Is There Such a Thing as Grief Recovery?

Several years ago, in my searching for how to deal with my grief from the death of my oldest daughter, I came across an article called “Grief Recovery.” As I started reading it, I discovered it was for any kind of loss including jobs, moving, pet loss, death, divorce or any kind of breakup, starting school, etc.

It talked about how recovery is when we can have memories without the pain. I had a hard time reading it without getting angry. It is just impossible to compare grieving the death of a child to all these other things. I’m not saying those things are not painful and that there is not a level of grief involved, but this article was basically saying after you grieve the right way, you can move on with life and put the past behind you.

I might be able to move forward, but it isn’t by putting the death of Becca behind me! She will always be in front of me. Our children are our legacy. They are supposed to keep going when we leave this earth. Even if she isn’t with me anymore, I can’t leave her in my past and go on without her.

Even if we wanted to do so, the things that trigger us and remind us of our loss can come unexpectedly out of nowhere and bring back the memory, accompanied by unwanted pain once again.

I am a parent who took a lot of trips to the grave site for probably a year or more. One day while I was there, the med-flight helicopter flew over me. I totally lost it and found myself sobbing uncontrollably. Later, I wrote on Facebook about what had happened, and a friend told me it was a sign of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I guess it made sense.

The last year and a half of Becca’s life she had around a dozen ambulance rides, because of her heart issues. For many, many months after Becca passed, whenever I heard an ambulance I would freeze in panic and my mind would immediately question, “Where is Becca?” And of course, there was always the realization of where she was, and the siren I was hearing was definitely not for her.

The first year of special dates is always difficult for anyone who has lost a loved one, but for a parent who has a child missing it can be almost unbearable. For us, Thanksgiving came first and brought with it the memory of how the year before, Becca had insisted on hosting the family, even though she was wheelchair bound. Then came Christmas, Becca’s favorite holiday, and then the pain of the first time she was not there to celebrate her birthday, and so on. Eventually it came around to the one-year anniversary of her death.

Everyone grieves differently, and I wanted to be sensitive to that. Some of the family wanted to get together and celebrate her life, and others didn’t want anything to do with that. I was torn, and to be honest I don’t even remember what ended up happening that first year for her birthday or the anniversary of her death.

The part I do remember, though, is a precious memory I now share with Becca’s daughter. That first year, my granddaughter asked what we were doing for her mom’s birthday. Knowing how some of the family did not want to do anything, I suggested I come to her school for lunch on that day and bring birthday cupcakes for the two of us. She was thrilled, and we continued doing it for a few years (until she hit Middle School).

What I wasn’t expecting was to have the second year be harder than the first! I see two reasons for this. First, I braced myself for those one-year markers. I knew they were going to be hard, so I tried to prepare myself for them mentally and emotionally. The second year it was more like I was caught off guard. I’ve been through this before; it should be better this year, I thought, so all of a sudden, those dates were here, and they just hit me like a brick wall.

Second, I was still in such a fog of unbelief the first year. So as the fog started to lift that second year, the loss was hitting me with full force. By the third year, it was more like a painful acceptance, trying to figure out how to live this new life without my daughter.

I feel like I need to say this to the parents who are still in deep grief. Do not look at any dates to see where I or others were emotionally in our grieving process and use it as some sort of a timeline to force on yourself. We are all on our own individual timeline and need to go through the process at our own speed. Yes, there are some “patterns” (for lack of a better word) that some of us seem to fall into, but don’t expect yourself to fit into that. Give yourself grace to walk your own necessary path. As long as you are putting one foot in front of the other, you will get there.

Grief recovery for a bereaved parent? No, not really. Yes, it is possible to get to the point where we can have memories without the pain. It happens gradually, but for the rest of our lives there will be times where the pain returns, because all we have are the memories of our child. The goal is to have that happen less and less, but it is naïve to think we will get to the point where we no longer feel pain within the memories and therefore have “recovered,” as the article I read suggested.

Like someone with an amputation, (which Becca had her leg amputated at three years old) we will never fully recover. But we can eventually learn how to live around it, adapting our life to that part of us missing.

If you don’t think it’s possible, that’s okay. Most of us thought the same thing, which is why we and others are here. We want to be that hope and light to you, like someone was to us.  So make sure you stay connected to those who are further down this path, who will always validate your painful loss, and share your memories, whether they come with tears, or a smile.

Do you find it hard to find ways to find comfort in grieving the death of your child? We would be happy to send you our list of thirty suggestions to bring ourselves comfort. Just submit your name and email address below.

 

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

Laura is a national keynote speaker and has also been a workshop speaker for events such as The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences, along with being a guest on radio shows, podcasts and other media channels such as webinars with Open to Hope.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.
 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

 

 

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