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Four Things We Can Learn from the Mother of Jesus About Child Loss (Part 2)

This is the time of year we think about and celebrate the birth of Christ. But have you thought about the fact that we can relate to Mary through the eyes of a bereaved parent? I recently spent some time studying this out and discovered quite a bit about Mary that I had not realized or thought about, until I had a child who died.

The first two things are in the previous blog you can read here. In this article, we are going to look at the last two things.

Third observation

One of the biggest things to notice is that Mary completely surrendered to the Lord’s plans for her life, not knowing what that meant and how painful her future would be. In Luke 1:18 we find her telling the angel, Gabriel, “Behold the handmaiden of the Lord, (I am the Lord’s servant) be it unto me according to your word.”

As we already noted, I am sure Mary had no idea that her son would die a very brutal death at the age of 33, and she would be there to watch it.

I used to think, “At least Jesus rose from the dead and came back to life here on this earth. I don’t have that with Becca!” But as I was studying this out, I realized Mary still lost him permanently from this earth, because He was only here for 40 days and then He went to heaven.

The permanent earthly loss of her son here on earth was confirmed at the foot of the cross when Jesus looked down and gave his mom to the apostle John to take care of (John 19:26-27). This is also confirmation that his brothers still didn’t believe who Jesus was because the next son in line should have been the one to take care of the mother.

We may not be able to relate to Mary’s exact, unique grief, but she was a mom whose child died and left this earth for her remaining time here, which is something we can all relate to.

 

Fourth Observation

Mary watched her son die. Nothing could prevent this mother from standing by her son to the very end, no matter how brutal it was. I can’t help but think that some of you have had the same experience of being with your child until he or she took their last breath. You know what that is like to be with them.

I didn’t have that experience. My daughter, Becca, was in the hospital, with plans of being dismissed the next morning. The night of October 12, 2011 her heart was crashing, and she was fighting everyone, trying to get out of bed, yelling at them to leave her alone. Her husband told her to lie down and let them do what they needed to do and was kicked out of the hospital room. She died surrounded by a bunch of medical staff trying to save her.

I wish I had been with her, sort of… I think it has to be one of those bittersweet things. Those of us who weren’t with our child don’t have that as another image we have to get out of our heads. On the other hand, we have to fight the guilt that we weren’t there with them, feeling like he or she died alone.

Did Mary have thoughts of “If only I had…” or “I should have….”?

Did she think about the last time Jesus gave her a hug? The last time they had a meal together? The last time she heard Him laugh? The last time she was able to say, “I love you?” I can’t help but think that she did, because that is what the rest of us do.

The last mention of Mary is in the upper room with the other believers (Acts 1:14). Jesus had risen from the grave, but He had also left this earth permanently. What was that like? There must have been some intense grieving, knowing she had just gotten Him back and now He was gone, never to be here on earth with her again.

Knowing that Mary stayed with the group and was in the upper room when the Holy Spirit showed up in a big way, is an example to us that life can be worth living again. Mary knew she would see her son again. She figured out how to keep living, even within the grief.

Our children are alive also! They may not have come back for a few days after they died and then risen up in the clouds in their bodies, but he or she is alive and with Jesus! Thank you, Father that part of Your will for our lives is to reunite us with our children, never to be separated again.

I want to wrap this up by looking at a scripture that talks about Jesus’ mother in Luke 11:27-28. As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” Jesus replied, “Even more blessed are those who hear God’s voice and make God’s message their way of life”. (VOICE)

If we take this scripture to heart, what is God’s voice to us as bereaved parents? I believe it is that we have that exact same hope as Mary. We will see our children again, and we can fight our way out of the grief. I want to encourage you not to choose to remain stuck in the event of your child’s death, but learn how to live in a way that honors the life of your child, just like Mary did.

And just like the Holy Spirit showed up in that upper room for those who were waiting for Him, I believe the Holy Spirit will show up for you. He will comfort you, and not only comfort you, but give you the strength to live out your life here with meaning and purpose, until it is time to join your child, and Mary and Jesus in heaven.

Until then, you might be interested in listening to the podcast series People in the Bible Who Lost a Child. Just click on each individual episode below to read the description and listen to it directly on the GPS Hope website. (You can also find each one on your favorite podcast app. Just look for the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast.)

49: The First Death in the Bible was a Son Who Was Murdered (Adam and Eve)
50: The Rainbow Baby in the Bible (King David lost an infant son before Solomon was born)
51: Three Things we Can Learn from Jesus’ Mother After the Death of Our Child
53: Trying to Find God in the Midst of Our Deepest Pain (A look at Job)
54: Why Did God Allow Me to Suffer Like This? (Job’s suffering after the death of all ten of his children)
55: From Fullness to Bitterness to Fullness Again (Naomi)
56: Reunited with Our Children (Jacob and Jairus)
57: Our Grief is the Same, Yet Different (two groups in the Bible who had children mass murdered)

 

Note: On each podcast, I announce the name, birthday and forever age of our children who are no longer here with us, the week of his or her birthday. If you would like to share your child with our listeners, just click here to fill out and submit the form with the needed information.

 

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

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What I Learned in Hindsight that Might Help You

~ by BJ Jensen

Hindsight is a good teacher.  If I had to relive those first special dates over again since Jay died in 1995 (I pray I will not ever have to), I would approach them differently, utilizing some of the following bits of wisdom gleaned over time:

I would not expect everyone to remember Jay’s birth date or death date like I do.

I see now how I set myself up for feeling more disappointment or failure.  Those dates cannot possible mean as much to other people as they do to his own mother.  It is not fair on my part to expect that.

I would voice my thoughts or concerns that jay’s birthday or “birth into heaven” date was coming up and that I was feeling fragile or sad or lonely.

It has not been fair of me to want people to “read my mind” and guess why I’m blue.  Personally, I don’t know any mind readers, and don’t think I will ever know any.  It would have been more appropriate for me to tell those I wanted to share my heart with.  I would have saved me more grief when they didn’t remember.

I would have planned special things for those special days instead of thinking that I should sit at home by myself and cry.

A walk on Jay’s favorite beach at sunset with a friend, or a picnic at Jay’s favorite park with some of his friends would have helped me remember some of the good times instead of focusing on the bad.

I would have done something nice for someone who was feeling lonely or sad or didn’t have a friend – a trip out to lunch or to a movie.

I would have focused more on the good memories instead of the hurtful ones. 

When I focused on what I didn’t have, it produced unhappiness and discontent.  When I focused on what I did have, it produced gratitude.

I would have realized it was okay for me to cry and it was okay to desire to have Jay back, even though it held me captive in selfishness. 

It was okay – but only for a time.  I then had to make a truly hard decision to focus on helping others less fortunate.  The more time I spent focused inwardly on myself and the loss of our son, the more I seemed to spiral downward into the pit of self-pity and despair.  I had already spent too much time there and hated the darkness.  I now know I would have helped myself recover sooner and with less stress if I had spent more time focused outwardly.

I would have joined a support group sooner.

I would not have isolated myself from the very ones who wanted to help me.  My family of origin had taught me to segregate myself from others when I was sad.  However, I now believe we are made for community and for helping each other through the tough times.

We try to honor our son’s life by doing the best we can with the rest of our lives. We sometimes ask ourselves the question, “Would our choices and decisions in our lives today make Jay proud of us?”

We treasure memories of Jay and allow ourselves to reminisce, get nostalgic, and be thankful for the time we had with him, even though it wasn’t long enough. Whatever time we had with our departed child would never have been long enough.

Surviving special dates the first few years after the death of your child may seem like an impossible task. In some ways it’s like climbing a steep mountain or navigating on a churning ocean. But it can be done. So many others have had to climb that mountain or traverse those treacherous waters and are stronger for having made it to the far shore. We want to encourage you and give you hope that it can be done. That small tender shoot of hope will grow when nurtured and fertilized.

 

This was taken by permission from the book Finding Hope After the Devastating Loss of Beloved Children by Dr. Doug and BJ Jensen. Click here to find it on Amazon. (This is an affiliate link. GPS Hope will get a small percentage of your purchase by using it.)

 

Doug and BJ Jensen, are International Speakers, award-winning Dramatists, Signing Artists, Song Writers, Drama Writers, and Authors of 16 books. Dr. Jensen earned his PhD in Biblical Studies in the area of Biblical Counseling.  BJ is the Director of the world traveling LOVE IN MOTION Signing Choir and is a writer of 8 stories found in seven of the CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL books. You can contact them at Jensen2@san.rr.com or on their Facebook page: Bj Jensen San Diego.

We would like to send you a PDF of Thirty Ways to Bring Ourselves Comfort and Take Care of Ourselves. Please let us know below where to send it. (You will also join over 1000 other parents who receive a Weekly Word of Hope.)

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

 

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Did You Know The First Sunday in May is International Bereaved Mother’s Day?

I was unaware of this the first three years after my daughter died. It happens on the first Sunday in May each year, the week before Mother’s Day, as a special day to have our child, and our never-ending grief, acknowledged.

Many bereaved moms will draw or paint a heart on their hand on this day, writing their child’s name inside of it, to remind those around us that every day we still carry the love for our missing child in our hearts.

To me, having a day set aside like this is also a way to have a day that doesn’t take as much away from my other children wanting to celebrate my being their mother the following week. It kind of frees up my aching heart, since I am able to celebrate being Becca’s mom the week before Mother’s Day, while also allowing myself to lean into the painful reoccurring “fresh” grief this time of year.

This day was started by Carlie Marie in Australia, based on the death of her son, Christian, whom she gave birth to, knowing he had already died in her womb a few weeks previously. She says, “In 2010 I felt drawn to create International Bereaved Mother’s Day to help heal hurting Mother Hearts. International Bereaved Mother’s Day is intended to be a temporary movement. It is a heart centered attempt at healing the official Mother’s Day for all mothers. I believe that we can do this and that sometime in the near future there will be no need for this day at all because all true mothers will be recognized, loved, supported and celebrated.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want this to be a temporary movement. Yes, it would be wonderful if Mother’s Day was handled differently by most of the people around us. But it is also wonderful to have a special day set aside for all of us mothers who have a child no longer here with us; a day set aside to share our child with family and friends, to make sure he or she is never forgotten by others.

If you are a bereaved mother:

I encourage you to take advantage of this day coming up. Do whatever you want or need to do, to acknowledge the love you have for your child as a bereaved mom. If family and friends will join you, great! If not, WE will join you. We would love to have you share your child with us in the comments below the blog.

You can also go to our Facebook page and share your child with us there. Post a favorite photo of the two of you together, a picture of the heart drawn on your hand with his or her name in it, what you miss about them… whatever you want to share!

If you know a bereaved mother:

Many people think if they were to acknowledge the death of her child, it would make her upset with them for bringing up her child and her painful loss. The fact is, the exact opposite is true.

One of our greatest fears is that people will forget our child existed, so acknowledging our child and giving us an opportunity to talk about him or her is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give us!

  • So, give her a big hug on International Bereaved Mother’s Day this Sunday (even if it has to be a virtual hug).  
  • Please make time and give her the precious gift of an opportunity to share her child with you.
  • And then listen, and love on her as she loves on her child whom she will always carry deeply in her heart, just like every mother does.

And be aware that if you see a woman with a heart drawn on her hand in the next few days with a name inside of it, she is showing an outward symbol of an inward fact: we will continue to carry the love for that child in our hearts until the day we ourselves die and leave this earth.

Unfortunately, Mother’s Day can be a day with so many mixed and painful emotions, as many people are reminded of the earthly loss of their mothers or their children. If that is you, I am very sorry. My heart goes out to you.

And I especially pray that God will give each of you precious moms who have had to live through the death of your child, a beautiful day of sacred joy within the grief of remembering your precious child this Sunday, on International Bereaved Mother’s Day.

 

Would you like to have our list of Thirty Ways to Take Care of Yourself After the Death of Your Child?  Let us know where you would like it sent, and we will do so right away.

 

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss to a place of hope, light and purpose.
We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

Expressions of Hope is written by author and speaker Laura Diehl. Laura is a national keynote speaker and also a workshop speaker for both The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences. Laura has also been a guest on Open to Hope several times, and has hosted her own conferences, a virtual conference and many webinars. If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event, click here.

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Barbara Bush and the Day We All Look Forward to as Bereaved Parents

I was not aware until the passing of Barbara Bush that she and President George H. W. Bush had a daughter who died from leukemia at three years old, on October 11, 1953. That means First Lady, Barbara Bush, was one of us.

This was back when little was known about cancer. They were told to take their daughter, Pauline Robinson “Robin,” home to die and make her happy in those two-three weeks she had left to live. They didn’t. They fought, by taking her to a relative in New York who was a doctor at a leading cancer center when cancer was barely understood, where she lived for another seven months. They fought for her life when no hope was given.

We get it…

It was shortly after Robin’s death that Barbara’s hair started turning white, which she attributes to her daughter’s illness and death. She was only 28 when her daughter died. Barbara Bush was known for that white hair, but it came at a high price. We change when our child dies, not just emotionally, but it takes a toll on us physically.

We get it…

The death of our child leaves a gaping hole that cannot ever be filled. It is bound to affect one’s marriage. Fortunately, in Barbara’s case, their marriage became stronger as they leaned on each other instead of tearing each other apart in their pain. Whether it strengthens the marriage, or tears it apart, the death of our child can’t help but affect the love-of-our-life relationship that we do day-to-day life with.

We get it…

Barbara’s son, George Jr., (President George W. Bush) was instrumental in “saving her life” after Robin’s death. At seven years old, he wouldn’t go out and play with his friends, insisting his mom was lonely and needed him. Most of us who are blessed to have other children have the same testimony – our other children are what kept us barely going.

We get it…

It affected Barbara’s relationship with God. The death of her daughter ended up pulling her and George closer to Him, trusting in His Sovereignty, knowing this life is not the end and they would see Robin again. (President Bush was known to say he expects his daughter Robin to be the first face he sees in heaven.)  Some of us are angry with God, some of us feel betrayed. Some of us immediately draw our strength from Him, and some of us do so only after our anger gets us nowhere and we turn to Him in desperation. The death of our child can’t help but affect our relationship with God.

We get it…

Robin’s body was donated to cancer research before being buried. All of us want to know that the life of our child mattered and somehow affects other lives for the better. Some of us are able to connect in some way to a cause, based on how our child died. Others put scholarship funds in place, write books or start organizations. We give gifts or have something permanently placed in a public venue in our child’s name. We are determined that our child’s life and legacy will somehow live on.

We get it…

In a fairly recent interview, memories of Robin brought joy to Barbara, thinking about Robin’s chubby little arms around her neck. But in another interview, 64 years to the month after Robin’s death, there were fresh tears. After the first few years of suffocating darkness and painful grief (Barbara said she felt like her heart was breaking and she could cry forever), we can turn a corner and start to smile at the memories and the joy our child brought into our lives. But we will never be beyond shedding fresh tears for the deep pain of missing our child.

We get it…

Barbara will be buried next to her daughter, whose body was moved in 2000 to the burial plot on the George Bush Presidential Library Grounds. I have two plots picked out for Dave and myself as close to our daughter, Becca, as I can get. We want to be close to our children, in life or death, even if we know it is just their bodies, whether buried or ashes.

We get it…

Very few of us will be like Debbie Reynolds and join our child in death even before their memorial service. (And obviously, if you are reading this, you are not one of those very few.)

We have no idea how long we have until we are taken from this earth and join our child. But each day we are here brings us one day closer. And each day here is an opportunity to live in a way that honors the life of our precious child.

I don’t believe the saying, “Time heals all wounds.” First, our wounds will never be fully healed this side of heaven, and second, I believe it is what we do with our time that brings the needed healing to not just survive, but to thrive, like Barbara Bush did for 65 years without her precious daughter.

That should give each one of us hope that we can, too. Somehow, it can be done.

One year after Becca’s death, I was with a friend I only get to see once or twice a year at the most. She took me out for coffee and just let me share my heart and cry about Becca. One thing I shared with her is how horrible I felt that I was looking forward to going to heaven to see my daughter more than to see Jesus. Her response? “But, Laura, you’ve made a deposit!”

Robin Bush

Each one of us has made a deposit. And no matter what your political views, I think we can all rejoice with Barbara Bush, that after waiting for 65 years, she finally had the day we all look forward to as bereaved parents. She is now fully reunited with her child.

 

When our child dies, it takes a toll on us physically as well as emotionally. We would be happy to send you a list of thirty things you can do to help take gentle care of yourself, no matter where you are on this unwanted journey.


You and your email address are safe with us and will not be given out to anyone.

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss to a place of hope, light and purpose.
We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us at  GPS Hope on Facebook.

If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.

Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.

Expressions of Hope is written by author and speaker Laura Diehl. Laura is a national keynote speaker and also a workshop speaker for both The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences. Laura has also been a guest on Open to Hope several times, and has hosted her own conferences, a virtual conference and many webinars. If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event, click here.

Much of the information in this article was taken from The Washington Post and Heavy.com news.

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What is the Difference between Debbie Reynolds and Other Grieving Mothers?

What is the difference? To put it very bluntly, she actually got to die, and we didn’t.

Debbie Reynolds seemingly willed her own death Wednesday, telling her son before the stroke that claimed her life, “I miss her so much, I want to be with Carrie.” Todd Fisher tells us Debbie cracked early Wednesday morning from grief. She was at Todd’s home during the morning hours, talking about Carrie’s funeral, when she made the comment. Fifteen minutes later she had the stroke. Family sources tell us Debbie actually had several strokes this year and was in failing health, and they believe Carrie’s death was too much to bear. (TMZ  12/28/16 7:57 PM PST)

Apparently, these were Debbie Reynolds’ last words spoken.  Her age and health allowed her broken heart to actually send her to be with her daughter.

After my daughter passed from this earth, I experienced the exact same desire.  “…So kill me, God! Do it now, please!” is something I actually wrote in my journal.

Right now I am seeing many bereaved mothers writing things like, “Why did Debbie Reynolds get to die and I didn’t?”

Or “She is so lucky she doesn’t have to go through what the rest of us have to.”

Or, “I still want to die, and it has been over three years since I lost my daughter.”

Many Facebook groups for grieving parents are posting about how the world finally gets to see that having a broken heart from the death of a child is a real thing. And it is.

After we lost Becca, I began to study the physical changes deep grief causes in our bodies. I wrote about it in my book Come Grieve Through Our Eyes.

I did not know until a year and a half after Becca’s death that a person can literally have a broken heart. It affects the left ventricle, even changing the shape of the heart, as part of the heart temporarily enlarges and doesn’t pump well, while the rest of the heart functions normally or with even more forceful contractions. And as a note, based on the research I have done, it happens almost exclusively with women. It causes heart attack–like symptoms, and is called broken heart syndrome, stress-induced cardiomyopathy or takotsubo cardiomyopathy (based on its official discovery in Japan).  Other names for it are transient apical ballooning syndrome, apical ballooning cardiomyopathy, and, Gebrochenes-Herz-Syndrome.  With all of those names, how did I not know it existed?

The deep grief of the death of our child also compromises our immune system and causes our brains to “misfire”, bringing much confusion, disorientation and forgetfulness that is very scary at times. It can be so bad, that many of us think we have an early onset of Alzheimer’s disease. I still deal with these things five years later.

There are no words to describe the suffocating darkness we find ourselves in after our child dies. And as seen recently with the death of 60 year old Carrie Fisher, it doesn’t matter how young or how old the child is.

BUT GOD…

I am so very thankful that the death of our children did not blindside God. He knew the exact moment our child would leave this earth, and He also knew the darkness that would come over us.

In His love, mercy and compassion, He also made a way for us to have hope, light and life again, beyond the death of our child.

For most parents (especially the mothers) it can take several years to see any of this penetrate through the darkness. And it doesn’t help when people start telling us after a few months that we need to start getting past our grief, or that we should be “over it” by now.

Grief is not an event, it is a process. And grieving the death of a child is definitely a life-long process.

It is like having am amputation. Our daughter had her left leg amputated at age three because of cancer. Yes, she learned how to function and even live a full life around her limitations of not having a leg. But every single day was filled with reminders that an entire leg was missing from her body.

Those of us parents who are living life without a son or daughter because of death has had a part of our very being cut off from us. It can take a very long time to learn how to function with that part of us missing. It can be done, but every single day there are reminders of our missing child who was cut off from us.

I wish God would just speak a command and make it all better, but it just doesn’t happen that way. As much as I want Him to, God hasn’t brought a giant eraser and removed the pain of my daughter’s death.

Instead, He is teaching me how to walk through it, leaning on Him and allowing Him to carry me when I have no strength. (And isn’t that what our Christian walk is supposed to be?)

Within these last five years, so much of my Christian theology has been challenged and shifted.

One of the most amazing things I have discovered in this very slow process of God healing my shattered heart is that peace and pain can both reside in me at the same time.

So many scriptures have new meaning to me now. Not the ones being quoted at me as Christian clichés, but ones that the Holy Spirit breathes life into when I am being held in His arms in the depth of my darkness and pain.

I have also learned how important my perspective is. For instance, when Becca first died, I almost couldn’t breathe when I started thinking about still being here on this earth for a year, five years, ten years or more, getting further and further away from her. But one day, the Holy Spirit spoke to me that I am not getting further away, but closer to her. Every day I am here on this earth is a day closer to my own departure and seeing my daughter again.

And at some point, I made a conscious decision that while I am here, I refuse to let my daughter’s death keep me from living. I refuse to live in a shell, waiting to die and be with her.  I have fought and will continue to fight to have a full life, enjoying my other children, my growing legacy of grandchildren, my marriage, and the calling on my life to embrace other grieving parents in their pain and be a light of hope in their darkness.

So what is another difference between Debbie Reynolds and the rest of us who have lost a child?

We get to live!

  • We get to live in a way that honors our child and keeps their memory alive!
  • We get to join arms with other bereaved parents who are some of the most incredible people on this earth.
  • We get an exclusive front row seat to the depth of God’s love for us, as we realize that God Himself chose to suffer the death of His own Son in exchange for an intimate relationship with us.
  • We get the opportunity of knowing Christ in the fullness of His resurrection power by also knowing Him in His sufferings.
  • We get to know the depth of the reality that this world truly is not our home, and the joy of knowing we have made a precious deposit in heaven who is waiting to welcome us to our eternal home.

The pain of burying my daughter will always be an undercurrent that can explode into my life at any given moment. But so is the peace that goes beyond anything I can ever understand.

If you are a bereaved parent who is struggling in that suffocating darkness, please connect with us, or another group of parents who can be the light and the hope you need.

It is possible to live beyond the death of your child. There is life after death, both for our child and for us. After all, bringing life from death is God’s specialty.

 

If you would like to receive chapter 7 “Does Losing a Child Have Any Physical Effects?” and chapter 10 ” Why Can’t People Understand That I Can’t Quit Missing My Child?” from Laura’s book Come Grieve Through Our Eyes (referred to in the article)  please submit your name and email address below.

Expressions of Hope is written by author and speaker Laura Diehl to bring hope, light and life to bereaved parents. If you would like more information about Laura as an author or speaker click here.

 

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