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Removing the Sting of Death

There is a verse we hear every year around this time, which is one I struggled with after my daughter, Becca, died. 1 Corinthians 15:55 (NLT) says, O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? I can tell you exactly where death’s sting is after the death of my daughter!

I begged the Holy Spirit to please explain this to me. I know His Word is true, but this verse was not true in my life – not even close! God did not answer that prayer right away, but one day when it was not even on my mind, He began to speak to me about it.

Whenever we are dealing with a bee sting, one of the first things we do is make sure we get the stinger out. My understanding is that sometimes the stinger remains in the skin and continues to release its poison until it is pulled out.

Right now, we still have the stinger in us. The pain from the “poison” of our child’s death is still affecting us and will continue, until we join our child on the other side of eternity. That is where the “sting of death” will be pulled from us, and we will no longer be under the effect of that poison and continue feeling the pain of our child’s death.

As I read the scripture in multiple Bible versions, I discovered what the Holy Spirit had spoken to my heart is exactly what this verse means. The Contemporary English version puts it this way. “Our dead and decaying bodies will be changed into bodies that won’t die and won’t decay. The bodies we have now are weak and can die, but they will be changed into bodies that are eternal and then the Scriptures will come true. Death has lost the battle. ‘Death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting?’ Death, you’ve lost the battle. You’ve lost the power to hurt us. It’s gone! The stinger has been pulled!”  

Did you catch that? This version actually says that the stinger has been pulled! I know it doesn’t help for the sting you are feeling right now, but we can all hang on, because there will come a time when this scripture will  become true in our lives.

But what about right now?

Many Christians have been taught that God has a wonderful plan for their lives. We think that means our life is going to be great—full of fun, laughter, sunshine—and nothing bad will ever touch us. But that is man’s interpretation.

Jesus warned that we will have hard times, but promised that He will be with us to help us through them. He said those who mourn will be comforted (not that we will never mourn). He said we will always have the poor with us (He did not end poverty at that time). These are the kinds of things the Holy Spirit will use the most, to draw us closer to Himself and to have the opportunity to know Him more intimately than we ever knew was even possible. And He will bring us to a place of being victorious if we let Him.

God’s love for us is the one stable thing that we can count on in the life we are living here on this earth. Not only does He love you, but He is right smack dab in the middle of your grief with you, and He is excited about you, knowing your future and the good things He still has for you.

He is the foundation we have built our lives on. Most foundations of a building are unable to be seen. That does not mean it is not there. A building might fall, but the foundation remains. Our lives may have fallen apart, but the foundation of Christ is still there. We may not believe it, we may not be able to see it or feel it, but He is still there, firm and steady.

God does have a plan for your life. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord…to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11. One translation says, “I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.”

Your future is full of hope. It can also be filled with wonder and amazement at the goodness and faithfulness of God, through both the incredible blessings and the painful tragedies because through both, we have the opportunity to see His powerful hand at work in our lives.

He is your anchor, your rock, your firm foundation. He is also a very present help in time of trouble and the giver of hope. Ask Him to open your eyes to see those things in a very real way. And not only can you have hope in your future here on earth, the most truly wonderful part happens when we leave this sinful world and move to eternity with Jesus. And just think, as a side note, we have someone very dear and close to us who has beat us there.

This is a shortened version of the recent Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode of the same title. If you would like to hear the rest of these thoughts, click here.

To find out more about Laura’s soon-to-be-released book Reflections of Hope: Daily readings for Bereaved Parents click here.

 

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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Hope is Our Anchor

I remember that first year after my daughter, Becca, died. She passed in October, so right away we were thrown into all the end-of-year holidays without her. As it was getting closer to New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, I felt horrible. I felt like going into a new year meant leaving Becca behind on a whole new level. Life was going on without her, and it wasn’t supposed to!

This heaviness we can be feeling right now between the end-of-year holidays and being in a different year without our child is exactly why I feel led to remind us of the hope we can still have, even in this place of suffocating darkness after the death of our child.

Many of us don’t have any idea how we are going to get through the rest of our time here on earth, much less getting to the place of being okay with it. We definitely cannot see ourselves getting to the place where we want to stick around a while longer because our life has found meaning and purpose again. That just feels impossible.

At the same time, we also shake our head in wonderment at how anyone can get through this without God to lean on. Even if we are angry at Him, something in us knows we need Him. We need His strength, His peace, and His hope.

To help us grab hold of that hope, let me share just a few scriptures with you.

Before I do, let me make sure we realize that the hope God talks about is much different than we often use the word hope. “I hope it doesn’t rain.” “I hope she passes the test.” These are wishes. God’s hope is not a wish, but a confidence that He will come through for us. I see hope as a seed we plant that is nourished to become faith/trust.

Here are some of the things we read in God’s Word about that kind of hope.

  • Psalm 119:147 I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. (NIV)
  • Psalm 130:7 …hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem. (NRSV)
  • Job 14:7 There is hope for a tree that has been cut down; it can come back to life and sprout. (GNT)
  • Jeremiah 17:17 You alone are my hope in the day of disaster. (NLT)
  • Lamentations 3: 19-24 I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. (MSG)
  • 1 Corinthians 13:7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (NLT)
  • Hebrews 6:18-20 We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us. (MSG)
  • Hebrews 6:19 This hope is a safe anchor for our souls. It will never move. This hope goes into the Holiest Place of All behind the curtain of heaven. (NLV)

Hope is what keeps us going. It is our anchor in the storm of grief, when we feel like we are going under and can’t get back to the surface to breathe.

I pray that what you have read here gives you at least a glimmer of needed hope as we are on this unwanted journey together.

If you are one of my podcast listeners, you know I will have to end this blog with one more word of hope, literally, which is my acronym for hope.

Hold

On

Pain

Eases

There is HOPE!

 

The above scriptures are just a few of thirty-six verses which were read on podcast episode 192. To listen to all of them being read to you, click here.

You can also get a downloadable PDF of all thirty-six scriptures. Just submit your name and email address below. (This will also put you on the Weekly Word of Hope email list which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)

 

 

Laura’s next book will be coming out soon! It is called Reflections of Hope: A Daily Reading for Bereaved Parents. You can find out more about it here.

 

Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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Hope is More Than Just Wishful Thinking

When someone says they hope something will happen, it is usually a wishful thinking kind of thing. “I hope it won’t rain this weekend.” “I hope they figured out what is wrong with my car.” “I hope my puppy doesn’t get much bigger.”

The world’s definition of hope is so much different than what God means when He uses the word hope. Have you ever thought about how crazy it would be that when God talks about hope in the Bible, He is talking about wishful thinking?  Let’s read some Scriptures that way.

  • Psalm 33:22 Let your unfailing love surrounds us, Lord, for our wishful thinking is in you alone. (NLT)
  • Psalm 94:14 When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed wishful thoughts and cheer. (NLT)
  • Jeremiah 17:17 You alone are my wishful thoughts in the day of disaster. (NLT)
  • Romans 5:5 Now wishful thinking does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (NKJV)
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:13 …We don’t want you to grieve like other people who have no wishful thoughts. (GW)
  • Hebrews 6:19 This wishful thinking is a safe anchor for our souls. (NLV)

That is almost laughable, right? And yet, that is quite often how we interpret God’s hope, without even realizing it. When God talks about hope, He is talking about a confident expectation. It is the seed we plant that grows into faith and trust.

A great example is a little girl who hopes she will get married someday. That is the wishful thinking kind of hope. But one day a young man comes into her life, they fall deeply in love, and he gets down on one knee with a question and a ring. Her getting married is no longer wishful thinking. It is something she actually starts planning for with anticipation, knowing it is coming. There is a confident expectation that she is going to get married.

God’s hope is so much more than wishful thinking! It is something we can count on, knowing He is at work and hasn’t abandoned us in our greatest time of need.

Let’s look at the verses above, putting in God’s definition of hope; a confident expectation in God’s power, His love, and His ability and desire to bring us out of the darkness and back into light, giving us a life of meaning and purpose again.

  • Psalm 33:22 Let your unfailing love surrounds us, Lord, for our hope (confident expectation) is in you alone. (NLT)
  • Psalm 94:14 When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me a renewed hope (confident expectation) and cheer. (NLT)
  • Jeremiah 17:17 You alone are my hope (confident expectation) in the day of disaster. (NLT)
  • Romans 5:5 Now hope (confident expectation) does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (NKJV)
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:13 …We don’t want you to grieve like other people who have no hope (confident expectation). (GW)
  • Hebrews 6:19 This hope (confident expectation) is a safe anchor for our souls. (NLV)

Wishful thinking won’t get you out of your black hole of grief, but true hope will; the anticipation and confident expectation that God will pull you out of the suffocating darkness and put you on a path of life that leads you to fullness and satisfaction in walking out the destiny and purpose He still has for you.

Death and life… In God’s kingdom, life always comes from death, including the death of our own soul after our child died. The two can truly merge together.

Are you in God’s kingdom? Then you are in a place where there is full resurrection power. You can learn to live again. Allow God to plant His seed of hope right in the middle of your pain, and ask Him what you can do to nourish it, as you watch it grow into life.

 

No matter how broken you are today, tomorrow promises new hope. I am not talking about new wishes, but a new confidence in who God is and how He is at work in your pain.

Do you have a difficult time finding things that bring you comfort? We have put together a list of thirty ways on how to bring yourself comfort and take care of yourself after the death of your child. We know God is the ultimate comforter, but it can help when we know how to give Him something to work with and to flow through. 
Let us know below if you would GPS Hope to send you this list. You will also begin to receive a Weekly Word of Hope, that is easy to unsubscribe from if you no longer want to receive it.


Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.

If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.

If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.

 

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A New Year Means New…?

Every time a new year shows up, it brings lots of emotions for many of us bereaved parents, especially if this is the first time the calendar has turned since your child died.

There are lots of words that can describe what we think and how we feel. Numb, regret, anger, sorrow, fear, confusion… I am sure you could add quite a few of your own words to this list.

These are all valid, for sure! And as you can see, they are all negative. So, how can we start to move the needle toward the positive, especially if we don’t see how that is even possible? Or maybe you are someone who doesn’t know if they even want to?

I believe there is a word that is the bridge between the two.

HOPE

When we have no hope, we have no desire to live.

We know the enemy is out to steal from us and kill us. If he can’t do it physically, he will do it emotionally. When our child dies, we have the biggest red target on us for the enemy to do exactly that. He steals our hope, leaving us wanting to die to go be with our child. Even if we have other children, a wonderful marriage and had a life full of purpose and passion before our child’s death, it all comes crashing down and we are left in a world of darkness and hopelessness.

However, the death of our child did not blindside God like it might have done to us. That means we do not have to stay a slave, chained to our prison of darkness with no hope. Jesus came to break every chain that could ever try to keep us bound. He will carry us through this valley of death, back into a place of abounding hope.

There is a seed of hope already inside of you! It may be dormant at the moment, but it is there. It just needs to be nurtured, and in time, in its season, it will begin to break through the hard ground and begin to sprout.

And that brings up another word.

TIME

Time can be terrifying to us now. Time means we are getting further away from our child. In the beginning, I used to dread the day my daughter would be gone for five years, and I couldn’t imagine her not being here for ten or twenty years or more. The thought of it can take my breath away and bring stinging tears!

And yet, as time goes by, it also means we are getting closer to seeing our child again, and that makes me excited!

The pendulum of time…it is all in our perspective.

I don’t believe that saying, “Time heals all wounds.” That is impossible when it comes to the death of our child. But I do believe what we do with our time makes a big difference in how long we stay in that place of suffocating darkness.

And one thing we can do, that can bring a huge shift is to

SURRENDER

This is not easy to do, especially if we feel like God betrayed us by allowing our child to leave this earth (and even more so if it was a traumatic departure).

During grief, people either move toward God or away from Him. But the truth is, when we move away from Him, we are moving away from the One who can help us the most. God wants to walk with us through this valley of death. He wants to give us comfort and strength. He wants to give us hope and yes, even a vision for our future that still has good things in it.

These are all things we desperately need. But if we choose to move away from Him, we will continue to desperately need these things.

Grieving the death of your child is a time to get as close to God as you possibly can.

It makes me think of a distraught child crying uncontrollably and his father bending down to embrace and comfort him. The son is so upset he is kicking and screaming and fighting, not wanting to be picked up and loved on. Eventually the child runs out of strength and relaxes in the embrace of his loving father. And now that child can receive the comfort, strength and hope he wants and needs.

It is the same with us. Don’t fight the One who can give you the very things you need. Surrender, allowing Him to embrace you and carry you in His strong arms of love.

In talking about surrender, I mentioned another word:

FUTURE

Like I said, the death of our child did not blindside God. In His eyes, we still have a life to live. He has a plan for us, and believe it or not, it is a good plan. Does it seem next to impossible to believe that? How can a good plan for our future be one that is without our child in it?

I had to learn the reality of the truth that my plans are not God’s plans. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. I have grown into a deeper faith in how awesomely powerful my God is. That He really can take something as horrific as the death of a child, and somehow, miraculously, bring good from it.

If my focus is on my loss, I cannot rise above it to face my future. But if my focus is on my promised future, then it is much easier to rise above the loss and step forward into that future and the good things God still has for me. (And don’t forget about the future we will have in eternity, never to be separated from our child again!)

Not only do we still have a future with good things in it, our life can have meaning and

PURPOSE

Each of us has a set number of days here on this old earth, and then we move on to the glorious side of eternity. Our child’s time here was much too short as far as we are concerned, and we were supposed to go first. But the fact remains, our child has now moved on to his or her permanent home and is more alive and full of life than we are! For reasons we don’t understand, their purpose on earth was completed before ours was.

So now it is important that we continue moving forward in our earthly purpose, so that when we join our child who is waiting for us, we will both hear the wonderful words, “Well done, good and faithful servant…Enter into the joy of your Lord.” (Matthew 25:21 NKJV)

And that brings me to my final word:

LIFE

Bad things happen to good people. Horrible and evil things happen to God’s people. You have paid what many will say is the ultimate price of sacrifice on this earth—the death of your son or daughter. (Sound familiar? I know someone else who paid the price of His Son a little over two thousand years ago.) But you did not give your child willingly or have a choice.

The question is: Are you going to let it be a wasted sacrifice? Are you going to become bitter or better? What value are you going to place on the life of your child? That is where the mind shift happens. Life or death?

I refuse to let death cause more death! I will not give the enemy that kind of a victory! Because Jesus lives, I can live. I have allowed my God to make good on His promises in my life, to give strength to the weary and hope to the hopeless. And I will allow that hope to continue to grow as it becomes joy that reaches beyond death, both my child’s and mine.

I hope and pray in this new year, you decide to make the same choice.

I want to encourage you to ask God to give you a specific word for this year: a word that represents what He wants to work into your life through this grief journey. My word is joy. I want and need the fullness of His joy back in my life again. I would love to know in the blog comments what your word is!

Much of this blog was taken from the My Grief Journey: Coloring Book and Journal for Bereaved Parents. It has forty-two words that describe our life after the death of our child. Each word has a coloring page, a journaling prompt, a thought about that word, and an appropriate scripture. Here is a list of those words:

We would like to offer our readers the same recent discount as our listeners to the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast. You can purchase When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the death of Your Child for $1 off, PLUS receive a FREE copy of My Grief Journey: A Coloring Book and Journal for Bereaved Parents! 

Just click here, put the When Tragedy Strikes book in your cart and use the promo code PODCAST37.

 

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

 

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Twas the Night After Christmas

Twas the Night After Christmas

-By Author Laura Diehl

 

Twas the night after Christmas and I was still numb;

The holidays felt like they had not really come.

It’s hard to explain, but it didn’t seem fair,

That my child is now gone, and I cannot share

The laughter and joy of this fun holiday

In our wonderful, traditional family way.

She is not nestled all snug in her bed

With memories of another Christmas filling her head.

“Will it ever get better?” I ask in my heart,

Knowing that each year we will remain apart.

As I cry out to God full of heartache and tears,

He reminds me His presence remains very near.

And though I don’t feel a desire to celebrate

The reason to do so remains very great.

For Jesus came as a baby on earth

To give life here meaning, value and worth.

And even though I have said goodbye

And I am confused and don’t know why,

The truth remains I will see you again

And there will be no more tears or pain.

But until that day comes and it’s my turn to go

There is one thing that I certainly know,

The love that I have for you is without measure

And you remain in my heart, as a beautiful treasure.

And while dreading to go into a year that is new

I realize each day brings me closer to you.

My Christmas may not have been merry and bright,

But because Jesus came, someday, it will all be made right.

 

 

Are you a newly bereaved parent, having lost your child in the last year or two? If so, we would like to send you a word of hope and encouragement from someone who has been right where you are. You are not alone. Let us here at Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) walk with you on this unwanted life-long journey.

(Along with this PDF, you will be added to our email list to receive a Weekly Word of Hope, which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

 

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

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