GPS Hope

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Episode 2: Forgiving Yourself

Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness

 

Welcome to episode #2

Our topic for these first few weeks is discussing how to lay the foundation of forgiveness as we learn how to rebuild our lives. When our child dies there are so many people we need to forgive that it can almost paralyze us. Some of the people we need to forgive are obvious to us, and some are not so obvious.

Last week we talked about forgiveness in general. I hope you took away something helpful from last week’s episode, and if you haven’t listened to it, that you will do so.

Are you having a hard time forgiving yourself for your child’s death?

If only I had…
If only I knew…
If only I was…

I am sure you can easily fill in the blank of at least one of those.
The “what ifs” and “if onlys” can be pure torture on how we could have or should have done things differently to be able to stop what happened. We can also struggle with forgiving ourselves for not being with our child when he or she took their last breath on earth.

No one should carry the burden or blame of their own child’s death, and there are things we can do to help release ourselves from guilt.

Some of the things talked about in today’s episode are:

• You can’t do something with information you don’t have
• Why are we not talking to ourselves the same way we would to someone else?
• Realizing our child is not holding anything against us
• A new thought that we have taken the burden of grief on ourselves, so they won’t have to experience it
• Unforgiveness and playing the blame game puts us on the devil’s playing field

We also discuss how forgiveness, which includes forgiving ourselves, gives us a foothold to climb out of the deep, dark pit of intense grief.

I believe in speaking things out….

If you would like the prayers/words of forgiveness to be spoken out loud that will be talked about in this podcast season, just let us know below where to send them.

Links referred to in this podcast episode:

Birthdays: If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of their birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

This week we celebrate

  • Adam Sharp, birthday 4/21/95, forever 19
  • Abigail (Abi) Jane, birthday 4/25/15, forever 18 months

The special song I wrote for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)

To consider having me come and speak (or just to get together if you live close to where we will be traveling, as shared in the podcast) email us at office@gpshope.org.

Amazon link to the book Imagine Heaven by John Burke

Please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

 

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

www.gpshope.org

 

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Episode 1: Is Forgiveness Really Necessary?

Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness

Welcome to episode – #1, our very first podcast!

There are so many other things you could be doing, so I am honored that you have chosen to check us out and are considering spending the next few minutes together.

Are you struggling with unforgiveness?

Most of us do, in at least one area after the death of our child. It is not uncommon for parents not to even realize it, until it is brought to their attention.

This first season of the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast is about forgiveness. When a child dies there can be so much unforgiveness it completely paralyzes a person.

Within this important topic, today’s episode is specifically about the need to lay the foundation of forgiveness to be able to rebuild your life, allowing one to move forward and not stay paralyzed in that place of darkness.

A Lesson from elephants

Did you know that a baby elephant can help us let go of the thought that we just can’t forgive? Listen in, as I share this interesting nugget with our listeners.

Where is God in all of this?

Even if you are angry at God, or don’t believe there is a God, the need to let go and forgive is still a necessary part of getting out of the darkness.

Coming up soon…

The following several episodes will cover the different people we may need to forgive, such as

• those who had something to do with the death of our child, either directly or indirectly
• those who have hurt us by not understanding the way we need to grieve the death of our child
• our child for leaving us here without him or her
• God for not stepping in to stop it
• Ourselves, as we are filled with “I should have’s”

You are safe here. No masks needed…

This is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

Links referred to in this episode

In this podcast, I briefly share about the loss of our oldest daughter, Becca. If you would like to read about Becca’s story in more detail, click here.

Birthdays: Each week I will announce the birthdays coming up of our children who are no longer here, so that our listeners can remember them with you. If you would like your child added to the list, click here to fill out the form with the needed information.

This week we celebrate

  • Becca Diehl Howard, birthday 4/13/82, who is forever 29

The original song I Remember Well can be heard here.

As shared in the podcast, we want to bless you with a thank you gift for listening within the first five days. Please submit your name and best email address below by April 28 to receive the free eBook Triple Crown Transformation.  Unfortunately this offer has now expired.

To get in on the 20% discount on all of our books during the month of April, go to our store and be sure to use the promo code BECCA when checking out.

For information on the retreat click here.

If you have any recommendations of guests to have on this podcast, or any suggestions, please contact us at office@gpshope.org.

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is hope.

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. www.gpshope.org

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, fill out this form.

 

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Your Storm Might Be Someone Else’s Rainbow

 

One night when driving home from work, I saw a beautiful rainbow northeast of me. As I admired its beauty, thoughts of God’s promises and faithfulness to us mentioned in Genesis flooded my mind.

But then I noticed the storm behind it. It was producing a heavy amount of rain and lightning. It was very dark and looked like a dangerous storm. I began praying for those who were in its path, concerned for people I did not know, nor ever would, asking God to protect them and provide for their needs.

Then the Lord spoke to my heart. “Are you willing to let the storms in your life become someone else’s rainbow?” I meditated on that the rest of the way home. How many times when I am going through something, do my eyes get fixed on me? This is just too painful… why is this happening to me… where is God in all of this?

If only I could remember in those times that God is right there, in me, as I am to be His dwelling place. He is going through it with me. Can I get past my pain and let God use the situation that the enemy or life has put in my path to do an eternal work in me? Can I get past myself, allowing God to show Himself faithful to others by watching me go through this storm?

Then He reminded me how sometimes I try to run away from my problems and the storms that come my way, even though I know that in the storm is where His faithfulness comes shining through. Simply stated, you and I have to face the storm to see the rainbow ourselves!

Those are things that I now think about when I am going through trials. While at times I still focus on me, I have learned that it is a waste of time and energy searching for answers that aren’t here to find.

While God is good and wants the best for me, the world is in a fallen state due to sin. Since I am in this world, I will experience trials, some of my own doing and others that may seem unfair. But God can turn it around, even going so far as making it a blessing in some way, for me and those around me.

Even Christ was unjustly tortured and put to death as a criminal (talk about a major storm in life), but God took an unjust act and used it to justify you and me! (Now that is a fabulous rainbow for all of us from His storm!)

Won’t you pray with me: Father, please, may the storms in my life become someone else’s rainbow, so they can see your faithfulness and love for them!

 

 

Laura Diehl is an award-winning author, national speaker and singer. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests.

If you would like to receive bi-monthly inspirational thoughts, along with updates on their travel adventures click here and submit your name and email at the bottom of the page.

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss to a place of hope, light and purpose.

 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

  • If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.
  • If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on Facebook and subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel for grieving parents.

 

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Five Shifts in How to See God After the Death of Your Child

“How can I trust a God who says He loves us and yet allowed this terrible thing to happen to me and my child?” This is a question many grieving parents have.

When everything is going great and I am getting all my prayers answered the way I want, it is easy to believe that God is faithful, and that He is good, and to choose to trust Him with my life. But it is totally different to still believe He is faithful and good and to continue to trust Him when something horrible happens, like the death of my child.

If you are like me, for many years I was a “good Christian” and “claimed the promises of God” like praying protection over my family. And I saw Him answer those prayers over and over again. So when my daughter, Becca, died, does that mean God didn’t keep His promises, that He is not faithful and that I can no longer trust Him?

This is a huge topic, but for the sake of keeping it short and readable for this blog, I am only going to share five quick thoughts.

First let me say that our perspective has everything to do with how this question is answered, which probably shifted drastically at a time when we needed God more than ever in our lives.

So in order to shift our perspective again, either a new thought needs to be introduced and received, or an old one reclaimed. I suggest, even if you aren’t on speaking terms with God right now, that you pause to make sure your heart is open to these five things to help you make the needed shift, which will allow Him to carry you through the darkness and back into hope, light and a life worth living again.

1. Some parents are helped by the realization that their child is not missing; he or she is simply absent.

To be absent means not to be present for the moment. The Bible says that for someone who has accepted the gift of salvation, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). We may have lost our child from this earth, but it is only a temporary loss. Becca is only absent from my presence for the rest of my time here on earth.

I can either focus on my personal loss that my child is permanently absent from this earth (which sends me in a downward spiral) or I can focus on the fact that my child is absent from my presence for now but is present with the Lord in glorious joy and perfection. And even though the pain is intense with the temporary separation, I will meet up with my child again in our eternal home, never to be separated again.

And if you are tormenting yourself with the thought that he or she might not have made it there, let me say you don’t know that. You don’t have all the information that God does, so choose to believe that your child made the right choice before death and were welcomed in the open arms of the Savior, instead of choosing to fear that God turned His back on him or her. Why wouldn’t God make one last split-second offer? He loves your child even more intensely than you do and paid the ultimate price of allowing His Son to be brutally murdered to pay the price needed for our sins, so that we can all to be together! If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is!

2. Reading the book of Psalms in the Bible can be extremely helpful.

Over and over the writer cries out for help from a very dark place of despair. And God responds by being a rock, a refuge and help in times of need. I spend a lot of time there when I “relapse” and find myself struggling with the pain and reality that Becca is gone from this earth and I won’t see her again until I join her in heaven.

3. Don’t try to hide from your fears or pretend they aren’t there.

God wants you to bring all your feelings to Him, including the dark and negative ones. You may be wondering, He knows these things already. Why should I have to tell Him how I am feeling? Because you need to admit those things, so you can give them to God and let Him work with you at being set free. If you do this persistently, those tormenting feelings of fear and anger will eventually lose their hold on you, and you will find yourself opening up once again to God’s love and faithfulness to you through the worst trial you have ever faced, and find yourself starting to trust Him again to get you through it somehow.

4. Find different promises you can hold up to God.

I have chosen to believe Romans 8:18 more now than I ever did, which tells me the sufferings of this present time cannot be compared with the glory that will be revealed in me. Knowing how great my suffering has been, that must be some incredible glory that will be revealed to me at some point!

How about the promise of Jesus telling us He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5)? That is not a promise based on conditions. It is set and firm, no matter what we choose to do or not do or based on how we feel about Him.

He is our constant companion and source of everything we need during this time. The question is not “Where is God?” The question is “Where am I?” I can walk out on Him very easily, and many of us do. We ignore Him, as though He is no longer with us. That is never the case. Guess who moved away? (Hint: it’s not God.)

5. Remember that God always leads us into triumph.

During a worship song at church one day, I suddenly realized that if I bring God into my battle (including the battle of my fears and my darkness) then I will win, because it is impossible for Him to lose! He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. God has the first and last word in my life, and He also has it in the life of my child!

God has never entered a battle where He came out as the loser, and He never will. As soon as I see God on my side and not as the enemy, and ask Him to fight for me, I know somehow in the end I will come out victorious!

I can offer no easy fix or solution to this often-painful dilemma after the death of one’s child, although it is very black-and-white. We either believe God is good and Satan is evil, or we don’t.

We either believe that God isn’t big enough and has not won the final victory over sin and death, or we believe that He is more than enough, and the death of my child is not where God reached His limits. Somehow, He has a way out of the suffocating darkness of grief because of His deep love for me, and I am determined to hold on to Him with everything I have until He gets me to that place.

There is freedom in surrender. There is peace in trusting. That may not make any sense, but isn’t that part of what makes Him God? So often life here on this earth won’t make any sense with our limited minds. God sees what we cannot see, and He knows what we do not know. And we need to get to the point where we are okay with the fact that there are just some answers we won’t get on this side of eternity.

Living life here on earth without my oldest daughter has been an extremely painful challenge. And in working my way through the grief, I have discovered that God is not who I thought He was. He is way better than how I limited Him before. He is more compassionate, more loving, more faithful, more everything that is good, and that I need, to get me through my remaining time here until I am reunited forever with Becca.

I pray you will make the same discovery.

We would love to hear from you. Please share in the comments below which of the five shifts spoke to you the most. You never know who you might encourage with your own thoughts on this subject.

This blog was taken from the book When Tragedy Strikes: Rebuilding Your Life with Hope and Healing After the Death of Your Child. As of the writing of this blog, we are in the process of putting together a free study course for those who want to go deeper than the book takes them. We would be happy to let you know when it is ready to be offered and to send more detailed information.

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

Laura is a national keynote speaker and has also been a workshop speaker for events such as The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences, along with being a guest on radio shows, podcasts and other media channels such as webinars with Open to Hope.

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.
 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

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Can the Spirits of Our Children Come to Us?

The other night Dave and I went out to supper with a couple who recently lost their son from this earth. One of the questions she asked was, “Do you think our kids’ spirits can come back and visit us?”

She shared a situation where two of them had an impression in their spirits that he was there at a profound event at a certain place for a few seconds, very happy with what was happening. Plus, there was another time this mom sensed her son’s presence in a very real and almost tangible way.

These are not “flaky” people. They are very rooted and grounded in their relationship with the Lord, and spiritual leaders and pillars in the Body of Christ. They are sensitive to the voice and presence of the Holy Spirit.

It reminds me of an email I received recently:

I have a question; do you ever feel like your daughter’s spirit is around you? I always feel like she is around me. Sometimes I get confused, like I wonder did she ever cross over or does she just come back to visit? J.A.

It really is such a good question, and one that I find interesting to answer. Since it comes up so often, I finally decided to share my thoughts on this subject in a blog.

First, let me say that God makes it very clear we are NOT to go to mediums or try to call up the dead (Deuteronomy 18:9-11). That is dangerous and opens the door for the demonic realm to approach and deceive us, letting darkness have an influence in our lives disguised as light and hope. But that is not what I am talking about here.

I know strong Christians who are positive they occasionally feel the presence of the spirit of their loved one who died and no longer has a bodily form. These Christians have not sought after them as a spiritual being. They are not going to psychics or mediums to try and hear from their loved ones. But at some point, usually quite unexpectedly, they suddenly just “know” that their child or loved one is in the room with them, usually very close by.

When I started hearing these stories, I realized it was not my job to judge, but to be like Mary, and quietly ponder those things in my heart, taking them to God. And in doing this for several years now, I have only recently allowed myself to begin to explore outside of what I was taught, that when a person dies, they leave this earth and we are totally separated until we ourselves die. Period. That’s it. End of story.

I didn’t allow myself to even remotely consider anything else because I have been afraid of “being led astray” and seeing something because I want to see it, allowing myself to be deceived. But when I take anything I am questioning to God, I always ask Him to show me the truth, and not to allow me to be deceived. So, I have to believe that He will honor that, and the Holy Spirit will help me sort it out without going down the wrong path on the questions I put before Him, including this one.

So, let me take a deep breath and say that I have begun to believe that it is possible that our children’s spirits have opportunities to visit us, for the specific purpose of bringing comfort, peace, or whatever our need is for that moment. And there are places in the Bible that support this.

First, we know there are spiritual beings, angels and demons, all around us. We are surrounded by a spiritual realm that is even more real than the earthly realm we live in.

Remember when God opened Jacob’s eyes to see a ladder to heaven with angels ascending and descending (Genesis 28)? So, if our children are no longer contained by their bodies, isn’t it possible that God occasionally allows them to ascend and descend as spiritual beings also, if there is a purpose for it?

Then there is the time when Moses and Elijah came to earth to speak with Jesus before His death (Matthew 17).

And how about the “great cloud of witnesses” that Hebrews chapter twelve talks about, referring to the entire previous chapter of those who had died? Is it just those in Hebrews 11 who are in that group, or is it everyone who has died and now has full access to the Father as a spiritual being without bodily limitations?

We are three-part beings. We have a soul (our mind, will and emotions), we live in a body, but we are a spirit being. Jesus was very clear that He was leaving this earth so that the Holy Spirit could come (John 16:7). He lives inside us when we believe and receive by faith that Jesus died for our sins and was resurrected. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), so our spirit is fully connected with the spiritual realm, whether we are aware of it or not.

In John chapter ten, Jesus says His sheep hear and know His voice and follow Him. As Christians, we are supposed to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, growing in knowing His voice, so we can grow in our direct communion and fellowship with Him. It is a Spirit-to-spirit connection. So, if we are aware of God’s presence, is it that far off-base to occasionally be aware of the presence of our child’s spirit, who is connected to Him, Spirit-to-spirit as well?

Let me also say that I believe there are many times when God knows we need encouragement, so He will send us a sign that relates to our child, but it is not him or her. For example, let’s say a grieving parent is floundering hopelessly in the suffocating darkness of their grief. A cardinal comes and sits within 3 feet of them. Knowing their child loved and collected cardinals, some parents will think their child came to visit them as that cardinal. There is no scriptural ground that anyone’s spirit comes back in the form of an animal. However, I do believe that God, in His deep love and compassion, sent that cardinal to give peace and comfort, because of the special connection their child had with cardinals.

One thing that I become more aware of with each passing year, is how much I don’t understand about God. Even having the Bible to read and study, His vastness, His majesty, His glory, His love, is just beyond what I can comprehend or wrap my head around. Paul tells us in I Corinthians 13:12 that we see in part and we know in part. We cannot see the full picture, because what we see here on this earth is like looking through a dark glass.

Yes, I know we have the Word to teach and guide us, but there is not one single person here on earth who doesn’t have blind spots and wrong beliefs in some areas. Not a single one of us knows all truth. But we are constantly being taught by the Holy Spirit, who lives inside us, having our eyes opened to more light and more truth, which continues to set us free from false beliefs.

Have I had a sense that Becca’s spirit is around at some point? No, but I have had twice when I fully believe I was in heaven with her. God gave me a vision, allowing my spirit to join her before His throne and in the heavenly city.

So, in answer to the question, “Can the spirits of our children come to us?” I will say that I have started to believe it is possible that our children’s spirit can come and be with us at times on assignment for a specific purpose.

I would love to hear from you on this subject. If you do not agree, please share in a loving and respectful way. Anything harsh and judgmental will not be approved to be posted.

 

One of the sessions of the GPS Hope on-line summit was “What About Psychics and Signs?” where Dave and I discuss the topic. The entire Virtual Summit is on sale in our store, but if you would like this session for free, we would be happy to send a link for you to access it. Just fill in the information below. (It will also add you to our Weekly Word of Hope emails, which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)

Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.

Laura is a national keynote speaker and has also been a workshop speaker for events such as The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences, along with being a guest on radio shows, podcasts and other media channels such as webinars with Open to Hope.

If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.

 

GPS Hope exists to walk with grieving parents through the suffocating darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.
 We also support families, friends and coworkers who want to know how to support these parents both short and long-term.

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