There is a verse we hear every year around this time, which is one I struggled with after my daughter, Becca, died. 1 Corinthians 15:55 (NLT) says, O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? I can tell you exactly where death’s sting is after the death of my daughter!
I begged the Holy Spirit to please explain this to me. I know His Word is true, but this verse was not true in my life – not even close! God did not answer that prayer right away, but one day when it was not even on my mind, He began to speak to me about it.
Whenever we are dealing with a bee sting, one of the first things we do is make sure we get the stinger out. My understanding is that sometimes the stinger remains in the skin and continues to release its poison until it is pulled out.
Right now, we still have the stinger in us. The pain from the “poison” of our child’s death is still affecting us and will continue, until we join our child on the other side of eternity. That is where the “sting of death” will be pulled from us, and we will no longer be under the effect of that poison and continue feeling the pain of our child’s death.
As I read the scripture in multiple Bible versions, I discovered what the Holy Spirit had spoken to my heart is exactly what this verse means. The Contemporary English version puts it this way. “Our dead and decaying bodies will be changed into bodies that won’t die and won’t decay. The bodies we have now are weak and can die, but they will be changed into bodies that are eternal and then the Scriptures will come true. Death has lost the battle. ‘Death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting?’ Death, you’ve lost the battle. You’ve lost the power to hurt us. It’s gone! The stinger has been pulled!”
Did you catch that? This version actually says that the stinger has been pulled! I know it doesn’t help for the sting you are feeling right now, but we can all hang on, because there will come a time when this scripture will become true in our lives.
But what about right now?
Many Christians have been taught that God has a wonderful plan for their lives. We think that means our life is going to be great—full of fun, laughter, sunshine—and nothing bad will ever touch us. But that is man’s interpretation.
Jesus warned that we will have hard times, but promised that He will be with us to help us through them. He said those who mourn will be comforted (not that we will never mourn). He said we will always have the poor with us (He did not end poverty at that time). These are the kinds of things the Holy Spirit will use the most, to draw us closer to Himself and to have the opportunity to know Him more intimately than we ever knew was even possible. And He will bring us to a place of being victorious if we let Him.
God’s love for us is the one stable thing 
that we can count on in the life we are living here on this earth. Not only does He love you, but He is right smack dab in the middle of your grief with you, and He is excited about you, knowing your future and the good things He still has for you.
He is the foundation we have built our lives on. Most foundations of a building are unable to be seen. That does not mean it is not there. A building might fall, but the foundation remains. Our lives may have fallen apart, but the foundation of Christ is still there. We may not believe it, we may not be able to see it or feel it, but He is still there, firm and steady.
God does have a plan for your life. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord…to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11. One translation says, “I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.”
Your future is full of hope. It can also be filled with wonder and amazement at the goodness and faithfulness of God, through both the incredible blessings and the painful tragedies because through both, we have the opportunity to see His powerful hand at work in our lives.
He is your anchor, your rock, 
your firm foundation. He is also a very present help in time of trouble and the giver of hope. Ask Him to open your eyes to see those things in a very real way. And not only can you have hope in your future here on earth, the most truly wonderful part happens when we leave this sinful world and move to eternity with Jesus. And just think, as a side note, we have someone very dear and close to us who has beat us there.
This is a shortened version of the recent Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast episode of the same title. If you would like to hear the rest of these thoughts, click here.
To find out more about Laura’s soon-to-be-released book Reflections of Hope: Daily readings for Bereaved Parents click here.
Expressions of Hope is provided by Grieving Parents
Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). The founders, Dave and Laura Diehl, travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, and bringing intimate weekend retreats to bereaved parents. Laura is also a singer/songwriter and the author of multiple award-winning books.
If you would like more information about bringing Dave and Laura to you for an event, please send an email to office@gpshope.org.
If you are interested in bringing GPS Hope to your area for a weekend retreat click here.
- Check out the Grieving Parents Sharing Hope weekly podcast
- Subscribe to Laura’s YouTube channel.
- If you are a bereaved parent, we encourage you to connect with us on our private Facebook page or our public Facebook page.
- If you are not a bereaved parent but want to support those who are, or want to follow us as we give hope to these precious parents, please connect with us at Friends of GPS Hope on Facebook.
I have recently had several moms tell me that they didn’t think they ever would or could get past the darkness, but now two years, or three years, or five years after their child’s death, something is stirring inside them that they want to start feeling alive again. I see this as a sign that the “winter” of grief is coming to a close, and the new growth of spring is on its way.
press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring. Hosea 6:3 (NLT)
know Him, because who does that? Who sees all the darkness inside me that I try to hide from others, and still chooses me? That is a kind of love I want and need to be part of; to know and to be known. I want to know God in the same deep, intimate way that He knows me.
Life here is hard. To be human means to go through suffering. It is pretty amazing that Jesus came here as a human, and faced a depth of suffering greater than any of us ever will. But God is with us, even when we cannot see or feel His presence. Jesus knows what that is like, because He felt the same way in His place of darkness.
He knows you fully and completely and wants to be with you – every part of you; the great, the good, the bad and the downright ugly parts of you. And you have the opportunity to know Him in the depths of suffering that few others can, which means we also get to know Him deeply in His glorious resurrection power (Philippians 3:10).
This higher place of trust will demand everything to be consumed at the altar. There will be nothing left in your hands. Are you willing? It’s the road to your healing that I am offering you.”
What happens when you take your child by the hand and lead them to the foot of the cross and find out you do not get to hold your promise for the rest of your days? What happens when you look in horror at an altar that is marked with your child’s death and the reality that there is no ram to sacrifice instead as a way out?
them places to encounter His presence, the worst of all darkness had just happened? How could He allow this to happen? I trusted Him. Or did I?
For months, I was in a battle with the Father, trying to put a demand on my daughter. I wanted her here with me. I was determined that God was going to answer the questions I had because she was mine and it was not fair. I had surrendered her to Jesus at the mountain of sacrifice and deserved her in my arms all the days of my life.
would live a holy abandoned life and that their eyes would be fixed on eternity.
taught her over the years, digging even deeper into what it means to trust God when something so painful as the death of our child does not make sense.
Habakkuk wasn’t looking for answers, he was looking for peace. Answers don’t give us peace. Placing the painful mess in God’s all-knowing, loving hands and choosing to trust Him to walk with us through the darkness will.
I take heart and gain strength. (MSG)
